Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

WELCOME TO THE WEB SITE OF
LARRY RUSSWURM

The only official site of larryrusswurmians on the entire internet.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ’s)

FAQ: Who the * bleep * is Larry Russwurm?

Short Answer (SA): Larry Russwurm is a science fiction author of such renown that we are surprised you could even ask the question.

Larryrusswurmian #1:
“Why is it that everyone’s finger diameter is always smaller than their nostril diameter?”
He dares to pose this question in one of his Rants entitled Picking.
Available only on this web site. Aren’t you glad you chose to visit?

Not a FAQ but we’re going to ask it anyway: What kind of science fiction does he write?

SA: He writes a brand of science fiction that is known as hard sci-fi. Not hard science fiction which implies that the author knows what (s)he’s talking about at all times. Not sci-fi which implies that the author or maybe more properly screenwriter is totally winging it. Instead it’s a happy medium in between. In other words you, the reader, must decide what’s real and where he’s totally winging it. Welcome to life.

Long Answer (LA): Hey, even the so-called “hard” science fiction writers slip up sometimes. Must we trot out Larry Niven and his egg-shaped Jinx? Other authors can be even worse. We hate to point fingers but Frank Herbert in Dune basically says that there’ll be extensive water in the atmosphere of a planet even if there’s practically none on the ground.

FAQ: Why is the SA longer than the LA?

SA: Because we didn’t want to regurgitate the information in the SA. Look, if you’re curious enough to read the LA, you probably read the SA, too.

LA: One word: Regurgitation.

Larryrusswurmian # 2:

“If I have seen further it is by standing on the heads of giants.”

FAQ: Isn’t this just Sir Isaac Newton’s famous quote with the word shoulders substituted by heads?

A: Yes.

FAQ: Why make the substitution? Isn’t this quote just more disrespectful?

A. Sure it’s more disrespectful sounding but it needs to be. Say you’re standing on the shoulder of a giant. Let’s assume the giant is proportional to humans. If they’re very gigantic, the person on the shoulder will not reach up to the giant’s eyes. Thus the giant will be the one seeing further.

FAQ: Is Larry Russwurm just a pen name?

SA: No.

LA: If you could make up a name why on earth would you make part of it sound like a slimy creature that crawls on its belly?

Larryrusswurmian #3
Let’s start out by paraphrasing Asimov’s 3 laws of robotics:
1.No robot is to harm a human or through inaction allow a human to come to harm.
2.Robots must obey their orders unless it conflicts with the first law.
3.Robots must preserve themselves unless it conflicts with the first or second laws.

“After hearing about Neighbourhood Watch programs, the robot maids (which would be in every house) would be peering out the windows all day long. When asked to do their jobs they would say “The first law, don’t you know. ”

FAQ:Why does his website poke at problems in famous science fiction stories?

SA: Because it makes him feel like a big man.

LA: Because he’s trying to stand on the heads of giants. Sure it’s disrespectful but he does indeed want to see further than those giants.

Larryrusswurmian #4
If it were many years ago in science fiction, Mr. Russwurm could have made a story that ended in the horrible pun that is about to be shared with you. It actually seems so obvious that someone else could have come up with it many times in the past. Mr. Russwurm declares that it was new to him and thus if someone developed it first he declares that he independently developed it. It’s an alphabet pun.
“’C’ ing is ‘B’ leaving.”

Larryrusswurmian#5
“Holy crap! I’m more anal than Sir Isaac freaking Newton!”

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