I was aghast to finally see the New Shepard rocket with it’s life support pod on top. It looked so much like male genitalia that I am not going to link to a picture of it because I do not link to pornography. I haven’t seen something so obviously phallic since Darth Vader – Mr. Dickhead himself.
Anyhow, the reasons are obvious why I choose to call this the penismobile. Hot dog cars might have been called this on occasion, but I’m sure those namers will bow out after having seen the New Shepard rocket with its payload of people.
Now I know why Bezos and his mouthpieces were so down on Virgin Galactic’s flight and insisted that ship never made it to space. It’s because that ship looked cool and Bezos ship looks like a penis.
They’re also down on Virgin Galactic because Virgin Galactic has floated a price of $250 000 for a flight while the lowest Bezos and co. has said for the paying public was 28 million dollars. Now presumably the 18 year old paid less since he was only the second highest bidder. So let’s say 25 million dollars. Or about 100 times the price of the trip on Virgin Galactic.
Worse news has come out of the United States since the trip. The United States doesn’t want to give astronaut wings to the passengers of either rocketry program. Which means they won’t allow the title of astronaut be given to the people riding in their trips to space.
So allow me to suggest a name that is obvious for someone who comes out of a penismobile. Each person that goes to space this way may be called a spermatozoon. Spermatozoa compete with each other to impregnate others with the idea that what they did was thrilling and that space will be conquered soon.
So be one of possibly millions of spermatozoa running around the world, a product of New Shepard’s rising then ejection. You, too, can say you were sired by Jeff Bezos wet dreams.