Doug Ford is on the record for saying that the first thing he will do when becoming premier of Ontario is to fire the CEO of Hydro One and his board. He said that you can take this promise “to the bank”.
Well he’s been the premier since the Friday before last and the very first thing that he did was to make a speech after being sworn in as premier. Now we all should have expected that since after all he is a pontificating politician. What politician can resist the temptation to speak at length. I am going to let go on that one. Every other politician I’ve known would have done the same thing. Doug Ford is, after all, just another politician.
But he’s been doing stuff all week and not once has he mentioned Hydro One, its CEO, and board.
So I took this to the bank. I had to wait for a teller like usual. I was burning up in that line thinking many foul thoughts of Doug Ford. Finally the teller could see me. I told her all about Doug Ford. And that I was trying to make him keep his promise by doing this final step that he had outlined. All she did was laugh and laugh. “You believed a politician?!” She laughed some more. She even rolled on the floor laughing.
That’s when her manager came over. “That’s highly unprofessional,” she said to her teller on the floor who was still laughing.
“Tell her. Tell her what you said!” she got out between guffaws.
By this time every ear in the bank was listening to us. I retold my case about Doug Ford and his promise that you could take this to the bank. This time everyone in the bank started laughing. In fact they were all rolling on the floor laughing.
With a hurt look I walked out – intent on doing my banking somewhere else.
Then I thought some more. All I needed was an accomplice that wouldn’t roll on the floor laughing and I could commit an easy bank robbery.
Posted in Humour, Politics
Tagged accomplice, board of Hydro One, CEO of Hydro One, Doug Ford, Doug Ford is just another politician, Hydro One, I took it to the bank, made a speech, now I know how to rob a bank, pontificating politicians, premier of Ontario, teller laughed at me, the whole bank laughed at me
The overprotected generation has continued past the age of 16. You know what I mean; that generation that is almost loved to the point of being smothered with their ever present helmets and padding. Before the age of 16 that was almost sweet. After the age of 16 it is no such thing.
Caring parents have bought their offspring SUVs to drive to soothe away their fear for their babies. Why not? SUVs have some of the best crash test ratings ever found. Little Ethel or little Jonah need all the protection they can get, right? In this case I don’t see it as harmless.
Little Ethel and Jonah are new, 16 year old drivers. They have yet to experience make or break experiences in their driving and are still novices.
In fact their inexperience says they are some of the worst drivers on the road. And their parents are buying them an SUV, some of the biggest vehicles on the road.
I have a newsflash for you. The bigger the vehicle, the better its crash test rating. And those of us in normal cars are going to have worse results in accidents especially involving bigger vehicles. Ethel and Jonah might be protected as well as can be but the other vehicles on the road are now less protected against some of the worst drivers.
It took a few years but car sellers are scaling up their game. They now have body superstructures that are performing better in crash tests. Maybe one day they will perform as well as SUVs.
You can tell SUVs perform better in a crash test just by glancing at them and realizing their size. Perhaps the smaller cars could use some of that psychological warfare on the roads. Perhaps they can have superstructures that make them look like a bullet or an arrow. Perhaps this would make little Ethel and Jonah make sure they were practicing good driving techniques.
But just remember, if we make cars perform better than SUVs in crash tests, Little Ethel and Jonah’s parents will just buy them that car. I wish I could see a way that was fairer. But it seems destined that overprotective parents are going to make some of the worst drivers into the most dangerous drivers no matter what we do.
Posted in Business, Humour, Science
Tagged arms race on our roads, best crash test results ever, big SUVs intimidate, big vehicles, cars, inexperienced drivers, make cars like bullets or arrows to intimidate, normal car drivers are at risk the most, not sweet after age 16, smothered with helmets and padding, sports utility vehicles, superstructures for cars can help, SUVs, the overprotected generation, worst drivers on road in toughest vehicles
Since 1938 the diamond mining giants have been running scared. That date is important because it marks the 1st time that Superman appeared on the scene. Soon after, it was revealed that Superman had this trick of squeezing coal just the right way and ending up with a diamond.
Imagine it, if you will, Superman could press and press and press diamonds thus flooding the market with these artificial gems and making diamond prices fall precipitously. This was where the world stood for some time for the diamond giants.
It took some doing but the diamond giants finally got a hold of some of these artificial, Superman pressed diamonds. It took awhile but the long shot plan of examining both types of diamond under various expensive machines finally hit a payoff. With good enough machines there could be seen minute differences between Superman’s squeezed diamonds and the earth squeezed natural diamonds.
All that had to be done was to market the natural superiority of mined diamonds. De Beers did this and was so sure of their name that when it became possible for these companies to make their own artificial diamonds, they chose to ignore that market and only sold the upscale natural diamonds.
It has now been 80 years since Superman appeared on the scene. It is now obvious that Superman only makes his own artificial diamonds when there is a need. He isn’t even going to flood the artificial diamond market with his creations.
So now, with a feeling of security, even De Beers has entered the artificial diamond market. Maybe this speaks to the promise of the market. Maybe we could make an artificial window out of diamond. An almost impervious artificial window. Or maybe the market will stay the same as it is. Either way the cheaper diamond is a sound business model.
Anyhow, Superman, thanks for your help in getting us there.
Posted in Humour, Science, Science Fiction
Tagged 1938, artificial diamonds, artificial diamonds are cheaper, De Beers tried to be a premium diamond brand, diamond mining giants, even De Beers just entered the artificial diamond market, natural diamonds, squeezing coal into diamonds, Superman, Superman could flood the diamond market, windows of diamond, with good enough equipment you can tell mined diamonds from artificial ones
Those aliens, precisely because they are intelligent, are in hiding, of course. What else would you do with the human race and its addiction to violence?
Transmitting higher technology to us just sounds insane. We are violent when we are young. Bullying is just a rite of passage for most young humans. Then we grow up and risk being murdered our entire lives. Although more so in the United States.
Then there is war – or killing sanctioned by our entire society. It is almost always backed up by our highest technology. What did we do when we developed the atomic bomb? Why we used it of course on our war time enemy Japan. That’s what we would do with higher alien technology. We would use it for an advantage over each other. Or we could even use it against the aliens who had transmitted it to us.
Some of us will probably be proud. We’ve managed to put fear into aliens. That is, only with our lower technology.
Maybe aliens won’t contact us, but should we try to contact them? As far as intelligent aliens go we could be average. Sure aliens that are a lot more violent would have killed themselves off by now. But there might still be those aliens that have eked through their violent past and still are more violent than humans. Let’s not send them the keys to destroy their planet or let them realize that one errant asteroid can still wipe out most life on Earth.
So I expect that aliens with superior technology will never try to contact Earth. Or each other if violence is common amongst aliens.
Over the years I expect space telescopes will get better and better and as we see the telltale signature of life as we know it – oxygen in the atmosphere – on more and more planets it will slowly dawn on us that intelligent life must be common. And there is a reason they don’t contact us.
We’ve even developed the word that will make them not contact us: xenocide, or the willful extermination of an intelligent alien species. If we don’t get kinder and more gentle as we develop, perhaps xenocide might be performed on us. That is, before we spread like a plague through the stars.
Does anyone remember my pseudo or alien accent post from many years ago? Here is a link. In it I showed (via Youtube) my alien accent that contains a smacked M (like a kiss), clicked N and a flatulated (my own word) P which is really the sound a horse makes that is not a whinny.
But recently I came up with a fourth consonant sound. It is a clip clopped L. Again this letter is only clip clopped at the start of a syllable never in the middle or end. This is because I cannot do it (maybe you can?).
Here is the sound on Youtube: clip clopped L accent . I am saying, “Lots and lots of little locks.”
And here are all four sounds together on Youtube: full alien accent . I am saying, “I like my nice pencil.”
And thinking about this all led me to a discovery. All 4 alien accented letters are consecutive consonants in our alphabet. Could they have been slipped into our alphabet due to contact with aliens who had this accent?
Then I thought of the coup de grace that made this all sure. They just hid these four consonants in plain view by stuffing them somewhere in the middle of our alphabet. Correction, not just in the middle of our alphabet but the exact centre. There are 26 letters in our alphabet. Those well versed in math are going to know that the 12th, 13th, 14th and 16th letters are as near to the centre that you are going to get.
Obviously there was alien collusion in this and it is likely that those aliens spoke with my full alien accent. There you go, Erich von Daniken. I just gave anecdotal proof for your Chariots of the Gods that said aliens have visited the world’s ancient peoples. That is the deep thought of today.
Posted in Humour, Language, Pseudo Science, Science, Science Fiction
Tagged alien accent, alien collusion when designing our alphabet, Chariots of the Gods, clicked n, clip clopped L, consecutive consonants in alphabet, Erich von Daniken, flatulated p, right at the centre of our alphabet, smacked m