Pontificating Politicians – Like Doug Ford

Doug Ford is on the record for saying that the first thing he will do when becoming premier of Ontario is to fire the CEO of Hydro One and his board. He said that you can take this promise “to the bank”.

Well he’s been the premier since the Friday before last and the very first thing that he did was to make a speech after being sworn in as premier. Now we all should have expected that since after all he is a pontificating politician. What politician can resist the temptation to speak at length. I am going to let go on that one. Every other politician I’ve known would have done the same thing. Doug Ford is, after all, just another politician.

But he’s been doing stuff all week and not once has he mentioned Hydro One, its CEO, and board.

So I took this to the bank. I had to wait for a teller like usual. I was burning up in that line thinking many foul thoughts of Doug Ford. Finally the teller could see me. I told her all about Doug Ford. And that I was trying to make him keep his promise by doing this final step that he had outlined. All she did was laugh and laugh. “You believed a politician?!” She laughed some more. She even rolled on the floor laughing.

That’s when her manager came over. “That’s highly unprofessional,” she said to her teller on the floor who was still laughing.

“Tell her. Tell her what you said!” she got out between guffaws.

By this time every ear in the bank was listening to us. I retold my case about Doug Ford and his promise that you could take this to the bank. This time everyone in the bank started laughing. In fact they were all rolling on the floor laughing.

With a hurt look I walked out – intent on doing my banking somewhere else.

Then I thought some more. All I needed was an accomplice that wouldn’t roll on the floor laughing and I could commit an easy bank robbery.

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The Vehicle Arms Race Begins

The overprotected generation has continued past the age of 16. You know what I mean; that generation that is almost loved to the point of being smothered with their ever present helmets and padding. Before the age of 16 that was almost sweet. After the age of 16 it is no such thing.

Caring parents have bought their offspring SUVs to drive to soothe away their fear for their babies. Why not? SUVs have some of the best crash test ratings ever found. Little Ethel or little Jonah need all the protection they can get, right? In this case I don’t see it as harmless.

Little Ethel and Jonah are new, 16 year old drivers. They have yet to experience make or break experiences in their driving and are still novices.

In fact their inexperience says they are some of the worst drivers on the road. And their parents are buying them an SUV, some of the biggest vehicles on the road.

I have a newsflash for you. The bigger the vehicle, the better its crash test rating. And those of us in normal cars are going to have worse results in accidents especially involving bigger vehicles. Ethel and Jonah might be protected as well as can be but the other vehicles on the road are now less protected against some of the worst drivers.

It took a few years but car sellers are scaling up their game. They now have body superstructures that are performing better in crash tests. Maybe one day they will perform as well as SUVs.

You can tell SUVs perform better in a crash test just by glancing at them and realizing their size. Perhaps the smaller cars could use some of that psychological warfare on the roads. Perhaps they can have superstructures that make them look like a bullet or an arrow. Perhaps this would make little Ethel and Jonah make sure they were practicing good driving techniques.

But just remember, if we make cars perform better than SUVs in crash tests, Little Ethel and Jonah’s parents will just buy them that car. I wish I could see a way that was fairer. But it seems destined that overprotective parents are going to make some of the worst drivers into the most dangerous drivers no matter what we do.

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The American Left and Right and Russian Influence

Since 1945 the American left has tried to fend off attempts to tar it with being called communist. In particular, Russian communist. Liberals and Socialists have been tarred with the same brush that made Russian communism evil.

But they aren’t the same. Liberals in other countries are very pro business and hence pro capitalism. Socialists have made it clear that they too like capitalism in its good periods it’s just that they see socialism as a necessity to gloss over capitalism’s problems.

It got so bad in America for these two groups that much backtracking went on. But really what good liberal or good socialist could find fault with that communism saying “from each according to ability; to each according to need”. The problem came with defining needs or ranking abilities.

Russian communism went awry with dictatorships. Before Lenin, there was little said that communism must have a dictatorship. Still, all the real world examples of communism had dictators in charge. Today the socialists and liberals see this and wish to work within the confines of a democratic capitalism. And they are popular doing this. Look at how many people said “Feel the Bern” before Sanders the socialist was defeated by the dirty games and undemocratic machinations of the Democrat party. Every poll that pitted him against Trump, said that Bernie would win more handily than Hilary.

Still Sanders is fighting. Will he or won’t he turn the democrats to the left? I think he can and the Communist! accusation doesn’t have the power it once did. Because of this I see a democrat turn to the left and a shift to winning.

Meanwhile, the right is seeing that aligning itself with Russia helps it in the dirty tricks department. No one seems to doubt that Trump got into power with the help of Russia.

How does Trump deny the Russian influence? Why he says Russia should be in the G7. This is a group that barely tolerates Trump. With every other president, the USA was considered the first among equals. Now it’s more like last among equals. Trump can pretend that he doesn’t care but he seeks odd comrades in his bid to have some state on his side. I’m looking at you Kim Jong Un and North Korea.

The right can deny they owe something to Russia. But the facts show that they actually owe a lot to the former superpower. Unlike the American left, who grew up as defiant to Russian ideology.

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Maybe Trump Wasn’t Too Far Off When He Said Kim Jong Un Loved His People

Perhaps Trump is on to something. What does a dictator most fear? His people. Which is why Kim Jong Un is most ruthless with them. Who do his people most fear? Why Kim Jong Un. They are locked in this fear/fear relationship.

Is Trump mistaking fear for love? Could be. What does Donald Trump most fear? Why the people he has let get close to him. They haven’t turned their back on him quite yet. And what do these people most fear? Probably being left out of the wealth and the inheritance he might leave them.

It’s just that every time Trump asks these people what they feel for him they simply say love. And knowing the Donald he probably ruthlessly tests them from time to time.

Would you still love me if I was a racist? Yes seems to be the answer they have given him.

Would you still love me if I was a philanderer? Yes also seems to be their answer to this one.

Would you still love me if I was poor? Trump himself is too fearful to ask this question. This locks him into a fear/fear relationship with those close to him.

Donald likes to think of himself as a good judge of horse flesh. But he colours his judgment with his own experience. So I think he truly believes Kim Jong Un loves his people. Fear, along with love is a great motivator. Perhaps that makes the two hard to separate in Trump’s mind.

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What If Other Activities Were Like Hockey?

“What was thought to be a close match of hopscotch between Emma and Samantha, has turned into a rout by Samantha. Emma hops just as well but Samantha’s aim today is impeccable. Watch that concentration as she throws a perfect 9. While Emma is stuck on 4.

“Wait a moment, Emma is approaching Samantha before the hop and punches her in the face. Emma cannot handle the stone back penalty if Samantha doesn’t hit back. But wait one moment, Samantha snaked out a leg that trips Emma then gives three really good punches in the face. Emma is not having that so quickly gets up and they are trading blows. Finally the referee holds back Samantha while the lineswoman pulls back Emma.

“The board says they are each getting their stone pulled back a square. It was really good to see that emotion from Emma. That means she is not quitting no matter how far back she gets.”

* * *

“The Belt technician arrives at the land line box first and proceeds to do a work order. A disgruntled Rutgers technician knows he is late and knows that he will get behind today since he let lunch go long. So he has almost no choice. He parks a few car lengths away and hopes the Belt technician doesn’t see him until too late.

“Since the Rutgers technician is a class player he clears his throat getting the Belt technician to see him one moment too late. The Rutgers technician simply lifts the Belt technician’s jersey over his head. The Rutgers technician freely punches the blinded Belt technician before being ejected for a few days. The few days is managed by the land line league. The land line league polices itself so the cops are never called in.”

* * *

“The judge and bailiff have kept at the ready for this case. The public defender is clearly a goon what with his physique and a number of teeth missing from his mouth. The bailiff and judge knew that if the public defender didn’t want to start anything he would have his false teeth in and look like a million dollars in his suit.

“Here comes the objection from the prosecution. The public defender leaps across the table and tries to catch the prosecutor off guard. But the prosecutor covers up his face. The public defender gets a couple blows to the stomach of the prosecutor. The bailiff is just as big as the public defender and almost tears him away from the prosecutor. The judge’s added weight gets the prosecutor out of harm’s way.

“That’s how you do it kids. Make your opponent pay for each good play. By the way, what’s the trial for anyway?

“Ha, ha! Why it’s for aggravated assault. Now we know why the defendant chose this public defender.”

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Super Plan of the Diamond Giants

Since 1938 the diamond mining giants have been running scared. That date is important because it marks the 1st time that Superman appeared on the scene. Soon after, it was revealed that Superman had this trick of squeezing coal just the right way and ending up with a diamond.

Imagine it, if you will, Superman could press and press and press diamonds thus flooding the market with these artificial gems and making diamond prices fall precipitously. This was where the world stood for some time for the diamond giants.

It took some doing but the diamond giants finally got a hold of some of these artificial, Superman pressed diamonds. It took awhile but the long shot plan of examining both types of diamond under various expensive machines finally hit a payoff. With good enough machines there could be seen minute differences between Superman’s squeezed diamonds and the earth squeezed natural diamonds.

All that had to be done was to market the natural superiority of mined diamonds. De Beers did this and was so sure of their name that when it became possible for these companies to make their own artificial diamonds, they chose to ignore that market and only sold the upscale natural diamonds.

It has now been 80 years since Superman appeared on the scene. It is now obvious that Superman only makes his own artificial diamonds when there is a need. He isn’t even going to flood the artificial diamond market with his creations.

So now, with a feeling of security, even De Beers has entered the artificial diamond market. Maybe this speaks to the promise of the market. Maybe we could make an artificial window out of diamond. An almost impervious artificial window. Or maybe the market will stay the same as it is. Either way the cheaper diamond is a sound business model.

Anyhow, Superman, thanks for your help in getting us there.

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Time Traveling Like an Animal

Certain earth animals can time travel two different ways. They are both methods of what I call ignorant time travel. If you can somehow ignore time’s ordinary passage and “wake up” in the future – that is ignorant time travel.

The first method is obvious. Hibernation by bears and other species is prompted by a large overfeeding of the animal which is followed by a months long, winter “sleep”. Tadah! It’s like time travel for the bear. There is no problem with cause and effect because the bear can never go back.

Wood frogs can literally freeze and thaw as many times as winter demands without damage. Proteins in their blood cause it to freeze first, sucking the water out of most of the rest of the frog’s cells. In the meantime the frog’s liver makes glucose that fills the cells again. This results in little damage from freezing which affects almost all other life forms. So the frog freezes when it’s cold and hops away when it warms up.

The first method has long been wanted by science fiction authors. So much so that instead of calling it hibernation it has the term suspended animation.

Freezing then being thawed and awakened has the technical sounding term cryogenics. So far it has been impossible because the water in our cells ruptures the cells when it freezes. This hasn’t stopped such authors like my namesake (Larry Niven) from writing about “corpsicles” being thawed successfully and it has become a trope, now, by such shows as Futurama.

I think little headway has been made with either method in science because we need to experiment on human beings to allow these methods to work for us. So they must show that it is very likely to successfully work on humans before doing the experiments. First they should have to prove that it works on a non hibernating species or a non wood frog. Only then would it be likely that we could time travel into the future.

But what if it doesn’t work, that their are limits to the things that can be done to humans and still allow us to live?

I think if we are defeated in this that we somehow may be able to mix hibernater/wood frog’s DNA with humanity’s DNA in such a way that our partial descendants can successfully time travel.

Look we’ve managed to do things that only animals in the past could do – like fly. I see no reason why we can’t use ignorant time travel like the animals do. Besides, as a Canadian I’d like to skip each and ever winter. Xmas can be moved and hockey really isn’t that great. And this should allow me to outlive my tropical friends who might not skip anything.

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Why We Won’t Find Aliens by SETI

Those aliens, precisely because they are intelligent, are in hiding, of course. What else would you do with the human race and its addiction to violence?

Transmitting higher technology to us just sounds insane. We are violent when we are young. Bullying is just a rite of passage for most young humans. Then we grow up and risk being murdered our entire lives. Although more so in the United States.

Then there is war – or killing sanctioned by almost our entire society. It is almost always backed up by our highest technology. What did we do when we developed the atomic bomb? Why we used it of course on our war time enemy Japan. That’s what we would do with higher alien technology. We would use it for an advantage over each other. Or we could even use it against the aliens who had transmitted it to us.

Some of us will probably be proud. We’ve managed to put fear into aliens. That is, only with our lower technology.

Maybe aliens won’t contact us, but should we try to contact them? As far as intelligent aliens go we could be average. Sure aliens that are a lot more violent would have killed themselves off by now. But there might still be those aliens that have eked through their violent past and still are more violent than humans. Let’s not send them the keys to destroy their planet or let them realize that one errant asteroid can still wipe out most life on Earth.

So I expect that aliens with superior technology will never try to contact Earth. Or each other if violence is common amongst aliens.

Over the years I expect space telescopes will get better and better and as we see the telltale signature of life as we know it – oxygen in the atmosphere – on more and more planets it will slowly dawn on us that intelligent life must be common. And there is a reason they don’t contact us.

We’ve even developed the word that will make them not contact us: xenocide, or the willful extermination of an intelligent alien species. If we don’t get kinder and more gentle as we develop, perhaps xenocide might be performed on us. That is, before we spread like a plague through the stars.

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3 Things

First of all tomorrow is Mother’s Day. Ma, you have such a positive image that there have been attempts to corporatize your image. The first one is Mother’s Pizza. This chain of restaurants is back from the dead in Ontario and wherever else they might exist. I think the idea of naming them Mother’s is to evoke the image of well made, home made pizza.

The two other attempts at corporatization of Mom’s image are more sneaky. Wendy’s fast food restaurants have an image of (presumably) Wendy as a little girl. In it her collar on the left looks like an “M” and on the right it looks like another “M”. The centre is either a button or amulet that, as a circle, surely looks like an “O”. So there is this subliminal Mom in this corporate image of Wendy’s.

The other company that uses Ma in its corporate image, right now needs something positive. That company is cheating Volkswagen and maybe they foresaw it such a long time ago that we all know their VW emblem. This is trickier. Upside down their emblem looks like MA in a circle.

My old riding in Ontario, Kitchener-Conestoga, just had a bit of a scandal. Incumbent Michael Harris was ushered out unceremoniously by the Progressive Conservatives so new candidate Mike Harris Jr. can run there instead. This was all orchestrated behind the scenes by Mike Harris Sr. the former premier of Ontario. Look PCs, I know you’re all conservative and that, but, get a new name. I am imagining that someone will get my meaning wrong and instead change the party name to the Mike Harris Party.

I know the wounds still have not quite healed in astronomical circles after dumping Pluto as a planet. Still, I must suggest dumping Neptune as well. Hold on before you object because I have a point. Shouldn’t Uranus be the natural end of the solar system? Just think on that awhile.

Before you object too strenuously, might I say that Uranus was once the end of the solar system. William Herschel only discovered it in 1781 as a planet, even though in dark skies its light can be seen imitating a star. So until 1846(when Neptune was discovered), Uranus was indeed the end of the solar system.

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More Anecdotal Proof of Erich von Daniken

Does anyone remember my pseudo or alien accent post from many years ago? Here is a link. In it I showed (via Youtube) my alien accent that contains a smacked M (like a kiss), clicked N and a flatulated (my own word) P which is really the sound a horse makes that is not a whinny.

But recently I came up with a fourth consonant sound. It is a clip clopped L. Again this letter is only clip clopped at the start of a syllable never in the middle or end. This is because I cannot do it (maybe you can?).

Here is the sound on Youtube: clip clopped L accent . I am saying, “Lots and lots of little locks.”

And here are all four sounds together on Youtube: full alien accent . I am saying, “I like my nice pencil.”

And thinking about this all led me to a discovery. All 4 alien accented letters are consecutive consonants in our alphabet. Could they have been slipped into our alphabet due to contact with aliens who had this accent?

Then I thought of the coup de grace that made this all sure. They just hid these four consonants in plain view by stuffing them somewhere in the middle of our alphabet. Correction, not just in the middle of our alphabet but the exact centre. There are 26 letters in our alphabet. Those well versed in math are going to know that the 12th, 13th, 14th and 16th letters are as near to the centre that you are going to get.

Obviously there was alien collusion in this and it is likely that those aliens spoke with my full alien accent. There you go, Erich von Daniken. I just gave anecdotal proof for your Chariots of the Gods that said aliens have visited the world’s ancient peoples. That is the deep thought of today.

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