It was about 4 years ago when this Hanes ad was given heavy rotation on television. For forty years I had existed without even once consciously thinking that my shirt’s tag made me itchy. But I tell you after seeing that ad a billion times I found myself noticing that my shirt tag on occasion made my back itchy.
I hate it when television does that. It invents a problem whose only fix is the product they are selling. Of course Hanes only made money hand over fist for a small while before many clothing manufacturers also began to sell printed on tags instead of the allegedly itchy kind. On this day, most of my shirts are tag free.
That was step one in the conspiracy.
Step two was making the printed on type of tag self destruct over time. Shown is a photo of a shirt I have that is only 2 ½ years old. The printed type tag should be on the back open and shown part of the shirt. It was there when I bought it but you can clearly see it has completely disappeared. It seemed a slow process but I think that the tag became unreadable after only a year.
So soon will come the coup de grace of the conspiracy. Clothing manufacturers will lobby the government hard to ban used clothing without the tag from being sold. It will be to “protect the consumer”. You see, even second hand users of the clothing should have the information to properly care for the garments to extend their life to the maximum.
Since the printed on tags will be gone after a maximum of a year, second hand clothing will mostly never be resold. Goodbye Value Village and all the charity sellers of used clothing. Even the poor must ante up for new clothing. The tag conspiracy will ensure this.
