Guardian caps are now allowed in games in the Canadian Football League as well as games in the National Football League. And they look ridiculous.
These caps are another layer of protection over the helmet of football players. With this extra layer, heads look disproportionately big for the bodies they are on. They look funny and the only reason they are being talked about is because they lessen the risk of concussion in sport.
So they have a serious purpose. But that’s not going to stop the mocking. Remember Elaine Benes being called big head by a guy she broke up with? “It’s almost a compliment,” she said at first till events made her reconsider. All those insults are going to be used on the players starting this trend of safety.
I can hear it now. “Top heavy!” “Humpty Dumpty!” “Bubba Bulbous!” Then there will be the newfound excuse for the opposing team. “ I couldn’t see the play properly with his big, bulbous head in the way!”
All of this will be thrown at the trendsetters. And this will indeed be a trend. Every concussion that happens, the players will think, I might have avoided this. And in another era we got used to the presence of helmets. Certainly we can get used to something extra that also prevents injuries.
Right now the aliens are turning their noses up at us. They will ask, “If they can’t get used to big heads and small bodies on their own people, how will they ever accept us?” They will telepath this to all within range.
So if you’re not into disproportionate features, you’re just not ready to accept aliens just yet. So quit expecting them to reveal themselves. Especially while we still war amongst each other.
As for the birds, there will be the odd one that will fly right into the guardian caps almost as if it were so big they couldn’t avoid it. Like there was no possibility of any other outcome.
