An America Sandwich Grab Bag o’ Humour

Since Trump has decided the Gulf of Mexico should be renamed the Gulf of America, perhaps he should look to other areas that America has been slighted in, such as the animal kingdom.

Canada geese spend half their time down south, in places that don’t freeze over. So, to be consistent, Trump should call these America geese.

Some Americans might object to the name change. I’ve heard that some Americans don’t like how the geese poop everywhere and generally make a nuisance of themselves. That’s exactly how Canadians view Americans as doing. So make the change, Donald.

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So what happens to werewolves during a lunar eclipse? Lunar eclipses always happen on a full moon. Do werewolves suddenly switch back to human at this time?

Well clouds occult the full moon all the time. There seems to be no difference in werewolf behaviour because of this.

However, the lunar eclipse also turns the moon blood red. Surely no good can follow such a colour change. Maybe werewolves become more bloodthirsty during such an event and kill for no reason at all.

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I think Americans are smug that they wholly contain one of the great lakes and own half of the rest of them, But they don’t wholly own one great lake.

Lake Michigan just seems to be owned by the Americans. But the professionals will tell you otherwise. That’s not a river connecting Lake Michigan to Lake Huron. That’s a channel. There is no change in elevation. So Lake Michigan is at the same level and is the same lake as Lake Huron. Lake Huron is bigger so the combined lake would be called Lake Huron.

This combined lake is bigger in surface area than Lake Superior. So it is the largest fresh water lake in the world. Which would make the name, Lake Superior, incorrect. I smell naming rights for that lake.

Trump may try to have the lake named after him. But, to be frank, Lake Trump sounds stupid. Also the lake would have been downgraded from Superior to Trump. Trump couldn’t be associated with such a loser.

So let’s call it Lake Gitche Gumee just like in the Gordon Lightfoot song, The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. This is the Ojibwa name for the lake.

About Larry Russwurm

Just another ranter on the Internet. Now in the Fediverse as @admin@larryrusswurm.org
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