It’s that time of year, November 1st, when we are overrun by useless Trumpkin the pumpkins (or jack o’ lanterns to some). Trump is much like the Trumpkin the pumpkins in that he, too, is useless on November 1st as he is most days of the year.
Also like Trumpkin the pumpkin, Trump makes sure that he is orange. He makes sure that every last part of his body is sprayed orange as he has a phobia of being any other colour.
Trump has also stolen from Trumpkin the pumpkin, the idea of being rotund. Trump seems to think that McDonald’s (get it – Mc Donald’s – he sure is vain about his name) is the ultimate food purveyor in the world and has many a meal with this fast food giant. But really he just wants to be rotund like Trumpkin the pumpkin.
Trumpkin the pumpkin has no space inside its head for brains. This is a fact that is blatantly visible in a glance at this Hallowe’en essential. While we can’t see inside Trump’s head to see that he is in fact brainless, we can listen to him speak for awhile to ascertain that he, too, has little in the way of brains inside his shell.
Trumpkin the pumpkin is one scary looking dude, especially when he is lit. Trump is one scary dude, also especially when he is lit. If the things he does don’t scare you, then I think you aren’t paying attention too well to all the things he is doing.
But now it is November 1st and we can destroy our Trumpkin the pumpkins. It’s just so satisfying dropping them from at least a second story window onto the pavement. Then if you want, you can pick up the pieces and donate them to a hungry farm animal.
Or we can have fun and play soccer against the wall of a brick building. If Trumpkin the pumpkin doesn’t shatter from the kick, then he can shatter when kicked into the brick wall. As well,when you’re done you can donate the pieces to a hungry farm animal.
It is important to remember that the preceding two paragraphs shouldn’t be done to Trump himself. After all the secret service is known to shoot to kill. However, you can get the word out to any cannibal that Trump is orange because he tastes like pumpkin pie.
