Poop!

Don’t be surprised if aliens think we want poop.

We take our dogs for a walk just so they can poop in front of us. Then, carefully, we pick it up until we can dispose of it. Then we call dogs “Man’s best friend”. That makes it sound like we’re just angling for more poop.

Then we also take care of poop of other animals. Cats we dutifully change the kitty litter for. Farm animals are cleaned up after by farmers (in the barn that is). Then it is collected and aged and put on the fields. All to allegedly grow more food!

But it is our babies that will make aliens think we want poop. We carefully change them and dispose of the poop. Then we talk about how parenthood has changed us. That we feel such love for our children and have a bond that is oh so strong.

But we stop talking about about such things when our kids are old enough to talk and start to say no to a lot of things we think we are doing for their own good. They may be old enough to talk but that is also about the age they can go potty on their own.

So we reminisce about the good old days when they were a baby. And couldn’t go to the potty on their own.

The common denominator is obvious. We bond with creatures when we can dispose of their poop.

Don’t be surprised when an alien has a dookie right in front of us.

We will get angry and ask it why it did this. They will explain themselves much as I’ve explained it above. “We just want to be loved, as you love other creatures. Now dispose of it!”

Then the humans will explain that we only dispose of the poop of those other creatures because they are imbeciles. Which is a good way of getting that same alien to fling its poop in your face.

“There! I’m an imbecile. Now love me!”