Talkers

Posted on 3 April 2010 by Larry Russwurm

There is a schism that exists in the art world. It is between realist artists and abstract artists. Or increasingly common, the names are illustrators and what I shall reveal later.

First of all calling realist artists illustrators is, I think, a shot by the abstract artists. Why? Well first of all, artist is now omitted from the title. Secondly, look up the definition of illustrate. Art isn’t the 1st intention of the craft. My dictionary defines illustrate as 1. to make clear or explain, as by examples or comparisons. 2. to furnish (books etc.) with explanatory or decorative drawings, pictures, etc. Notice how explain is in both definitions.

And abstract artist is not a full enough name for what those artists do. For instance, last week in the comments section of this blog, we had the example of an artist putting a urinal on display as being a piece of art. This isn’t abstract at all. It’s so realistic, it’s the real thing. I think most people would agree with me that this behaviour belongs more with the abstract artists than the realist artists. But if we include it, the word abstract no longer fully applies.

What is this type of art then? I’ve heard the new abstract described as various answers to the question “What is art?” Now this sounds to me like a very boring conversation – one question for innumerable pieces of work. So it probably will not surprise you that I am more of an illustrator (I do political cartoons and plain cartoons). But maybe this one question can help sum up the new abstract art for you. Since it is a conversation, I now dub abstract artists and their brethren talkers.

That’s right, they’re trying to push the term illustrators and get realist art further from the “art world”, so I just want you to know that talkers aren’t necessarily artists either, even if what they do appears visual. And most people know it’s true in their hearts. How many of us have been in a gallery and asked “What’s that supposed to be?” And then heard an explanation. To me, it appears that the talking is more important than the art.

So that is the name I drag into service and is also my shot over to the abstract and related world.

Posted in Art, Wee Bit O' Humour | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

All Fool’s Eve

Posted on 1 April 2010 by Larry Russwurm

All Fool’s Eve was first started in the 12th century at the court of King Gustaf in Latvia. Unable to decide which jester he liked the most he created a night of competition for the fools in the eve of March 31 which became known as All Fool’s Eve. All the competitors were given white conical hats which were called “dunche” hats from which the English dunce cap is descended.

The competition was harder to judge than King Gustaf had anticipated. The annual competition was likely to run on late into the night until morning. April 1st began to be known as Fool’s Day.

Among the commoners, who couldn’t afford fools, it became popular to make their own fools by trickery and earning a good laugh when successful. It slowly became common to trick victims early in the morning of April 1st when they were still half asleep. Thus, the majority came to think of April Fools Day as the real event and as monarchies slowly fell into disfavour All Fool’s Eve was pretty much forgotten.

For more information on All Fool’s Eve visit the website: allfoolseve.com .

Posted in History | Tagged , , , , | 6 Comments

Not Novel

Posted on 27 March 2010 by Larry Russwurm

There is a major schism that exists in the writing world. The two sides are usually called “literature” and “genre”. Literature is usually that which gets taught in English classes and genre usually means any important genre, ie. western, romance, fantasy, science fiction or mystery.

Literature pushers have snubbed all the genres for years and years. That’s why there are separate awards in each genre for writing excellence. Before the genre awards, literature would not exalt any genre piece to even be in long lists for awards.

So you end up with people like me, being reverse snobs, liking genre and ignoring literature.

It’s true that some books are not obviously genre or literature. Occasionally I read these. But listed for the literature awards? Ha, ha, ha, ha. Awards sometimes have the opposite result of their intent.

It was with great shock that I heard of a literary neophyte that had plagiarized many of the passages in her new book. That’s right Helene Hegemann, 17, of Germany copied and plagiarized passages as long as a page with just a few words changed.

Instead of being completely demonized, after the scandal she was listed for a German award. Her defence? “there’s no such thing as originality anyway, there’s only authenticity.”

First of all the word is novel. If she can’t think of new things to write about, perhaps she shouldn’t be writing.

Secondly, perhaps over here closer to genre, especially near science fiction and its love affair with tech, we can see more clearly.

Isn’t a new thing in technology original? There are new things all the time. I come from the regime of the cathode ray tube. Now we have plasma or LCD screens everywhere. Something changed. Want to say “I’ve been in space”? Used to cost you 20 million dollars. Virgin Galactic is set to change this to a few hundred grand and soon. Instead of buying a house, you can buy a space trip. Something the common person may soon enjoy. Original things are coming down the pipe every day.

Indeed, engineering and science students are the most worried about their education becoming outdated. Because they see the changes coming and they’re fast, too.

So if you’re writing about the future, and most science fiction authors are, you at least have to keep up with tech, even be a bit ahead of it. So original things get said in many sf stories.

There is novelty in the other genres, too, for instance, mysteries will sometimes have new ways to do a heist or catch a murderer, sometimes even both in the same story.

If you are wondering, my nose was planted firmly up in the air for the writing of this piece. Thank you for the feeling of superiority, Helene Hegemann. Go genre, go!

Posted in Wee Bit O' Humour, Writing | Tagged , , , , , | 6 Comments

The Joy of Public Transit

Posted on 24 March 2010 by Larry Russwurm

There’s something new with my public transit. It’s the best thing in buses since the advent of air conditioning. Yes, if you have a car you can probably guess what it is. Global positioning.

It doesn’t come with a map like your car based system. It’s attached to an electronic sign that tells you either the street address or the name of the closest intersection.

I must add that we intrepid users of public transit are owed this. I’m not sure about your city but my city sells signs that cover the entire bus. There are little holes all through the sign that kind of let you see outside but it’s not as good as without the sign. As well, uncovered buses often have dirty windows so it can be hard to recognize the stops at night. That’s right, we passengers are owed this. Listen city and install the GPS’s in all the buses as soon as possible. I can’t wait till I have to find someplace new in the city and can rely on the GPS instead of the bus driver to find my stop.

There is one drawback to this system. You have to be able to read. And I’m not convinced that the bus driving public can.

You see in my city we have three different types of buses in regards to the back door. The oldest has vertical bars that need to be pushed on to get out. Then there are the other sensors. For one a sign says “place your hand here”. Another says “wave your hand here”.

I used to think that 98% of people could read most things. You know – the official literacy rate. That is until I saw that a large percentage of passengers do the wrong thing when trying to get out. Our city is doing its part in improving the literacy rate – I swear the type of bus you get is more randomized than most lotteries.

And I think that the public in my city has over internalized the idea that Canadians are politer than Americans. I’ve only seen this in the last couple years, passengers by the back door call “Thank you,” to the bus driver for stopping at their stop. Now the rider has to speak loudly to be heard when they are near the back, which in my opinion is rude. They are cutting through other conversations all in an ill conceived idea to be polite.

This over politeness reminds me of guests who ask if it’s okay to use your washroom. Trust me it’s much ruder to pee on my floor. But I digress from the ongoing bus riding saga.

Posted in Politics, Wee Bit O' Humour | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

What Has Fair Trade Coffee Spawned?

Posted on 20 March 2010 by Larry Russwurm

You’ve probably heard of Fair Trade Coffee over the last few years. I think it has become popular due to documentaries spreading the idea that the coffee grower makes next to nothing in the production of this crop. If you haven’t heard of fair trade the idea is simple. We in the rich west will pay a little more for coffee in order to give a fairer wage to the growers.

I’m certain that the fair trade movement has made an impression on the big coffee companies. Recent advertising has associated Nabob with The Rainforest Alliance. Being the product of a for profit company, the deal isn’t as good for the growers as Fair Trade. Nabob has only committed itself to buying 30% Rainforest Alliance coffee.

So on one hand we have fair trade coffee by goody goods and on the other hand we have a capitalist company concerned with profit. Now don’t get me wrong, at one point I might have sided with Nabob, especially if their product ended up being cheaper. Except…

Concerned capitalists keep wanting to enforce the primacy of the shareholder in corporations and thus almost everything comes down to the bottom line. As you probably know, most business people are “concerned capitalists” and if corporations have the rights of a person, it is as a very greedy person that they act as.

So I know in advance due to a preponderance of evidence that if the fair trade coffee organizations fail and Nabob survives, Nabob will eventually see the Rainforest Alliance as a money losing venture. They will either take away funding and keep prices the same or take away the funding and decrease their price to increase market share. Either thing might be done by a greedy person. Notice that there is no option for keeping funding.

Whereas if Nabob failed and fair trade coffee continued, I bet that the fair trade organizations would remain the same.

But wait, there’s another twist thrown out by a different coffee competitor – the mighty Maxwell House brand. I think they see fair trade coffee as straight up charity and thus they are now competing by simply giving straight to charities. In this area of the world.

For those of you who don’t know, coffee is grown in tropical countries – in the developing world. By giving to developed world charities, Maxwell house is making it about a choice of us or them. The greed of customers for their charities is being counted on to “vote” by buying Maxwell House coffee. Notice that the corporation, which is governed by greed for its shareholders, assumes greed is the guiding force in its customer base.

Despite my living in the developed world, I know that the developed world is so much poorer they need money more than the developed nations. Plus, I also know that if money reaches its intended destination in the developing world, the same amount stretches out way further than in the developed world.

So there you have it, three different coffee selling cultures and a brief rundown on the good it does for buying each. Obviously I am pro free trade coffee the most. But it is nice to see that there are 3 options in Canada that just don’t take, they give back as well. I blame free trade coffee. It’s those damn aforementioned goody goods.

Posted in Business, Politics, Wee Bit O' Humour | Tagged , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Patents vs. Copyrights

Posted on 13 March 2010 by Larry Russwurm

A copyright lasts for the artist’s lifetime plus 75 years. A patent lasts 20 years. Is this even close to being fair?

I can kind of see it. A patent can directly be responsible for saving someone’s life. If you don’t have the money to pay the monopoly (read patent holder), which can charge anything it sees fit, you could die. So a shortened patent longevity might be seen as being compassionate.

No one is going to die if they aren’t given a proper recording of ‘Happy Birthday’ played for them at their birthday. So maybe we can extend the monopoly of the artist longer.

It stinks to high heaven. This doesn’t even approximate a fair system. Let’s name the people on the patent side as scientists and on the copyright side as fine artists. In our capitalist society the scientists are given short shrift. Largely we tell them they are so useful that the monetary gain given fine artists can never be theirs.

What should we do? Lengthen the patent length? People will die. Progress will be slowed. How about decreasing the length of a copyright to 20 years?

And the recording companies make such a big deal out of file sharing. Maybe scientists ought to be able to download anything pre 1990, guilt free. It would only be fair.

Post script:

I know I have simplified in this article. I just wanted to say things in a stark manner so my points would be obvious. For instance, I think performances are copyrighted for “only” 50 years in this country (Canada). And instead of scientists, inventors usually do the patenting. It’s just that inventors are almost invariably schooled in sciences. The basic science stuff that we all learn in school isn’t even covered by patents or copyrights. Coming up with a new accepted theory gives no protection, so maybe the straight scientists should be allowed to copy and download anything from any year. And I avoided talking about patent extensions because Canada does not allow it.

Posted in Art, Music, Politics, Science, Wee Bit O' Humour, Writing | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Entitled Alanis

Posted on 6 March 2010 by Larry Russwurm

If you hadn’t heard, Alanis Morissette wrote the song Ironic in 1995 and despite its mega success, had the definition of ironic wrong. At least I think she did. My dictionary defines irony ( it doesn’t have a separate place for ironic) as an event or result that is the opposite of what is expected.

So, when Morissette says that ironic is “like rain on your wedding day” she is wrong because rain on your wedding day can be expected.

So here I am, a white knight here to rescue poor Alanis’s song. But let me get one thing straight – I am fundamentally lazy so I hope to make the rescue with one word. A three syllable word that will replace ironic in Morissette’s song and hopefully meet all the conditions set forth by the song.

“Curious” is the first word I will attempt to replace ironic with. I’m asking you, dear reader, to get the song and play it. Trust me, if you are not personally familiar with the song, it’s in your parent’s or older sibling’s collection or someone you know. The album “Jagged Little Pill” that spawned it, is, I believe, the best selling album by a female artist.

Now that you can replace the lyric “ironic” with “curious”, I hope to get you to vote on it. That’s right I have other substitutes and would like to hear from you if you have even better substitutes.

Judging from what Alanis has offered with her lyrics, I suspect “frustrating” or “annoying” might be an adequate lyric instead of “ironic”.

“Demented” is also a possibility, I just worry that this offers a slant she never wished for.

Finally, I finish up with “Unexpected”. I don’t expect this will fly. Firstly it is a four syllable word, but I notice that I can voice it and keep the integrity of the song. Although I suspect this is the definition that Alanis may have been writing to, “rain on your wedding day” still doesn’t work because rain is still foreseeable.

I offer up all these substitutes knowing that ironic could still work. That is if Alanis is so extremely entitled she is virtually the most entitled human being on the planet.

Look, if she is extremely entitled, the weather could revolve around her, and thus, finally, rain on her wedding day could be unexpected.

Let’s see if other parts of the song work, assuming this extremely entitled Alanis and how that effects the definition of ironic. “An old man turns 98, he won the lottery and dies the next day.”

Miss entitled Alanis has just heard of this 98 year old. But that is sufficient for the 98 year old to last 2 or more days – after all poor Alanis has had time to form a small attachment.. So thus the death becomes the opposite of what one should expect.

“A traffic jam when you’re already late.” Of course entitled Alanis only has one thing go wrong at a time so this is the opposite of what one would expect and ironic. Entitled Alanis seems to win every time.

Still I’ve listened to the song again and am going to put my vote in for “demented”. Deep down I must think that even Alanis Morissette isn’t that entitled.

Posted in Humour, Music | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Updates

Posted on 1 March 2010 by Larry Russwurm

Cheaters:

Even more suspiciously, Canada finished the Vancouver Olympics with 14 gold medals. This many golds is a record for any winter Olympics by any country. Bear in mind Canada’s Own the Podium program has only been going for 5 years and official word had been that 5 years was too short to win in the gold medal count, let alone set a record.

Open Call for Cartoonists;

Not surprisingly, I received no submissions of artwork. I thought I was dealing with too small a pool of people and was right about that. I will eventually get around to cartooning the two IOC cartoons. They’ll be up well before London 2012 for those who might want to link. Now that it’s past the date for the Vancouver Olympics, the VANOC cartoon will never be drawn. Too bad because after Canada’s good showing (see above), I’ve heard VANOC being praised more than I’d like.

But mostly I feel I got no submissions because I referred to potential submitters as victims. As one victim to potentially another, I’ll try to sharpen my language next time.

Posted in Humour | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Cheaters

Posted on 27 February 2010 by Larry Russwurm

At one time Canada had a national embarrassment. You see we held the summer Olympics in Montreal in 1976 and we failed to get a gold medal. It was such a blatantly honest performance that the IOC let us host another Olympics only 12 years later.

So, in 1988 we held the winter Olympics in Calgary. Embarrassingly enough we again failed to win a gold medal at a games we were hosting. Not willing to repeat the 12 year thing for our honesty, the IOC let us host another Olympics a longer 22 years later.

Now before we get to Vancouver 2010, we should have a little reminder. Since 1976, the USA, a country with 9 times Canada’s population, has only hosted the Olympics 4 times. Our little nation with 33 million has hosted 3 times. I can only believe we’ve been so privileged because of our blatant honesty. True Ben Johnson was caught cheating in the Seoul 1988 summer Olympics but we dealt with it. And did I say we were obviously not cheating on the whole or we would have won a gold in Calgary or Montreal.

In the 2010 winter Olympics in Vancouver, Canada has caught the cheating bug in a big way. We could have made it plausible by winning one or two gold medals. But no, we went out of our way and have now won 10 and may even win more gold medals than any other country. Any more and we break the record for most golds by a host country in the winter Olympics. We could have made it look likely. But now the world is going to see us as one great big cheater.

Sure we pretend it was the “Own the Podium” program that got us all those gold medals. But doesn’t that very name sound almost like a threat. As in ‘we own the podium so the rest of you nations had better cooperate’.

Now that we have come of age as cheaters what of our upcoming Olympic bids? Toronto has tried a couple of times to attract the summer Olympics. But now the IOC sees right through Canadians and our cheating ways. It looks like the earliest Toronto will see itself hosting the summer Olympics will be in 2100. Thanks a lot Vancouver.

Posted in Humour, Sports | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Another Fine Back Up

Posted on 20 February 2010 by Larry Russwurm

Lines are needed during any spacewalk. In the frictionless environment up there, the only thing to push off against is the spaceship. There is nothing to push back against to get back to the spaceship. Thus, the line is the only thing that will get you where you want to go. What if it breaks?

Newton’s Third Law of Motion states that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Indeed, in frictionless space this is how the spaceship moves. It energetically throws mass out it’s rear.

If the spacewalker has say a wrench, she has a back up for the line. She can throw the wrench away from the ship and back towards safety. But what if she has nothing to throw?

If only the astronaut could somehow inhale inside the suit and exhale outside it. The exhale would nicely propel her. Being able to breathe and spit at the same time would be nice, too.

How about making the suit such that the urethra was exposed to the vacuum? Imagine peeing your way back home to the spaceship. Unfortunately, you wouldn’t be able to see where you’re going easily.

Which leads directly to another available orifice on the astronaut’s body. You could design a suit such that you could fart your way back to the ship. And if you really have a lot of momentum in the wrong direction, there’s nothing like explosive diarrhea to bring you safely back to base.

Laugh at all this as much as you want. But mark my words, if we develop spacesuits that allow such actions, one day an astronaut’s life will be saved because of it.

Posted in Humour, Science | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments