President Rump’s Plan

Posted on 10 January 2026 by Larry Russwurm

Why does President Rump want Greenland so badly? Why is he so willing to put Greenland and their current owners, Denmark in a bad situation?

Well, we at Many Rants have crunched the numbers and have looked at the situation backwards and forwards and sideways. The only thing that makes sense is that President Rump has seen the stats about Denmark and their level of happiness.

Denmark’s happiness has been at or near the top in the world for the last few years. For the last two years only Finland has been higher. But Finland is poor in offshore possessions and Denmark has Greenland.

I believe what President Rump wants to do is called leveling. He wants to instill so much fear in Denmark, that their level of happiness drops 25 places and is lower than America’s level of happiness.

Some may think I am giving President Rump too much credit for his intelligence. But I am seeing him doing a similar thing with Canada.

President Rump has also prattled on and on and on about making Canada the 51st state. Why does he fixate on something he’ll likely only get with a war? It’s because we have an even more embarrassing stat than Denmark has.

Per capita, America spends almost double what Canada spends on health care. Canadians live an average of 3 or 4 years longer than Americans. You can say bad things about socialized medicine but this North American contrast shows the benefits of such a system.

Perhaps President Rump wishes Canada would spend more on its military so not so much could be given to health care. Or perhaps he wants an outright annexation of Canada so he can force the same ill performing system on Canada. Again this could be called leveling.

If President Rump is successful at leveling with these two nations, what’s to stop him from coming for the rest? There are other lists that give America a poor ranking.

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Practically Homeless Elon Musk

Posted on 3 January 2026 by Larry Russwurm

Perhaps you’ve lived under a rock these past few years and hadn’t heard that Elon Musk gave up all his mansions and practically lived under a rock. Maybe your rock, if your rock is in Texas.

His new home is worth $50 000 and is 400 square feet. It’s meant to be efficient. Perhaps Elon doesn’t want every other weekend with his kids. “Sorry kids,” he might say “but I’m strapped for space.”

At least he’s not wasteful like other half trillionaires. Okay so there are no other half trillionaires. But let’s just look at what he could do in the real estate market with that half trillion.

The average value of a fully detached home in my area is nearly a million dollars. Elon could buy a new one every single day to rest his head in somewhere that is pristine. He could then bulldoze the home in the morning. He would go through about one tenth of his wealth in his remaining 50 years or so if he did this.

If he wanted to make people exist in his current squalor of a $50 000 home, he could put up 10 million of the things and house a population the size of Sweden’s. Every man, woman and child of Sweden could have their own Elon house.

Maybe Elon just wants street cred with the homeless. “No I’m not quite there,” he can say despondently, “But I am down to 400 square feet to live in.”

Maybe feeding the homeless in an episode of the Big Bang Theory wasn’t quite enough for his street credibility. After all, the show is fictional and didn’t feed the actual homeless. And although Elon said he wanted to eat a pie with a bite out of it, they never actually showed the pie or him eating any part of it.

After this show people might think Elon actually had something in common with the homeless. However, years of actions afterwards proved that he didn’t and now, living in a 400 square foot home, he might move back to those halcyon days when people thought he might actually care.

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Best Posts of 2025

Posted on 27 December 2025 by Larry Russwurm

2025 was another interesting year here at the Many Rants. Early in the year I wrote Betelgeuse. At first, today, when I read it again, I thought I had counted wrong for this post. Then I realized I hadn’t counted the title. For the same reason, I now say Beetle Juice, Betelgeuse, Beetle Juice,  Betelgeuse, Beetle Juice.

Little Drummer Cat is my tribute to my cat, Bast, who unfortunately died earlier this year.

The New Gladiators is my road map to make hockey even more of a blood sport than in 1970’s Philadelphia. It might happen, yet.

I think I wrote Elmira, Sartins and Hockey well enough that outsiders from northern Waterloo Region would understand what I’m talking about, too.

Money is Time and Elon Musk and His Time Machine got me followed by two of Elon Musk’s kids on Twitter or as the kids say, “X”. I post about my posts there but do almost nothing else over there.

Then finally I think I identified something in the human condition. I called it Poop!

Here at Many Rants, we wish everyone a prosperous and good new year.

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December 2025 Grab Bag o’ Humour

Posted on 6 December 2025 by Larry Russwurm

I just saw a McDonald’s ad using the phrase “Up and at M” where M was really the golden arches. But because copyright law rewards the most aggressive companies the most, I now fully expect McDonald’s to sue the Simpsons.

You see the Simpson’s crossed the line when they, 30 years previously, had Radioactive Man utter the catch phrase “Up and Atom.”

Now the Simpsons could aggressively sue McDonald’s if they do it right away. But the Simpsons likely won’t, assuming that McDonald’s is an advertising customer at times.

If McDonald’s does this on the down low, expect newer airings of those Radioactive Man episodes to contain the more boring phrase, “Up and at them”.

*

I’m thinking of starting my own dictionary. Yes it has to do with the way dictionaries choose their word of the year.

Look at it this year. The Oxford word of the year was “rage bait”. Macquarie dictionary chose “AI slop” as its word of the year. Collins dictionary chose “vibe coding” as its word for the year and Dictionary.com chose “six seven” as its word of the year.

But hope remains. Cambridge dictionary chose “parasocial” as its word of the year. That’s right, only one of these five dictionaries knew the definition of word. That’s a big fail for most of the dictionary world.

*

I remember thinking what the *bleep* when I watched the video 6 years ago of “Harleys in Hawaii” by Katy Perry. You see, at the end, the video says “Produced by Canada for Katy Perry and Capitol Records”.

I wondered if the government of Canada was trying to make inroads into the music video market. Perhaps more production money would flow into Canadian coffers. But I have yet to see a video since produced by Canada. And why this one? With American Katy Perry. Set in Hawaii. So much about this is weird.

The Canada logo they show is not the one they use for normal government branded stuff. Perhaps there is some American production company going by the name Canada.

Now Justin Trudeau, prime minister of Canada six years ago, is dating Katy Perry. Is this supposed to be Canada’s payoff for producing the video? As a Canadian I have to say it doesn’t work for me.

But I got curious and did some digging and found that Canada is a Catalan production company.

Maybe Katy manifested something Canadian by choosing that production company.

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November 2025 Grab Bag o’ Humour

Posted on 22 November 2025 by Larry Russwurm

Kudos to Demi Moore for correcting the pronunciation of her name. It’s not Deh-MEE like we thought many years ago. It’s Duh-MEE as she corrected us. And it does take courage to correct the public.

Especially if you know that 10% of people are going to say DUH!-mee. As well, a further 25% of people are going to say Dummy or DUM-Ee.

Not to mention at least 1% will know her name is mispronounced but think its the second name. They will say Deh-MEE MOR or Deh-MEE MOR-Ay.

Correcting this pronunciation may be hard, but Duh-MEE can handle it.

*

24 Sussex Drive is supposed to be the First address in Canada. But first one prime minister discovered that repairs could be delayed to curry favour with the public. Then the next prime minister did the exact same. So eventually we are left with a rotting structure that no prime minister has lived in, in recent memory.

Not to be outdone, Donald Trump tore down the whole east wing of the White House in the United States. He says he is going to build a grand ballroom where the east wing once stood. But we all know Trump’s taste is toward the more garish.

Now Trump has set a new precedent for the next president. Perhaps the next president will tear it down to build something they think is better. Or maybe they like garish and will live in the ballroom while tearing down the west wing of the White House. Symmetry might demand two garish sides to the White House.

*

A few weeks ago, Elon Musk appeared on the Joe Rogan show and blamed immigrants for many things wrong with America.

“Musk and Rogan blamed immigrants for everything from budget shortfalls to democracy itself” said the article I linked to.

Elon Musk should know, himself being probably the most high profile immigrant in the United States. Tax his immigrant billions and I bet there will be no budget shortfall.

I wish all the problems of the world would be this easy to solve.

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The Baseball Bandwagon

Posted on 8 November 2025 by Larry Russwurm

The Toronto Blue Jays amazing run to the world series (and their almost win!), created some odd new baseball supporters. We would like to showcase some of them today.

There are new fans who are fashionistas who might be a bit off on their terminology. “Yes,” said one, “I really am struggling to understand how runs can be good. In fashion a run is a very bad faux pas where you need to bring in brand new stockings.”

“And I’m wondering about runs batted in,” says a second fashionista. “How can one bat one’s eye and cause even one run? Some of these players are causing multiple runs with one bat of the eye! The carnage in stockings is terrible!”

Then the original fashionista jumps back in, “But home runs make sense. They are the best of all the runs. The run happens at home. So one can easily switch the stockings with that horrible run for good stockings. No one is the wiser.”

We even found some medical workers who were new to the game of baseball. We chatted with some personal support workers (PSWs) about baseball.

“Who thinks that runs are good?” asked one. “They cause a stinky mess that needs to be cleaned, Then again, I’ve heard from a doctor myself, they’re usually not that bad for health as long as the patient stays hydrated.”

“As for runs batted in,” continues the first PSW, “I find it disgusting that someone would play with their own runs. It makes a horrible mess. Who do you think will have to clean it up? Me.”

But their friend has a different take on home runs. “Home runs are really better than normal runs. They happen at home so, I , as an in hospital PSW, do not have to clean it up. In fact, home implies that they might even make it to the toilet for this run. Even my in house PSW friends might not mind this one.”

We talked with a producer at a record label. She said “ I can’t understand how a hit isn’t everything. Sometimes it doesn’t even count on the scoreboard. But for me, a hit means future business. It means a small fortune on its own. It can even mean a good career.”

We also talked with someone who wouldn’t give his occupation. He said, “I always wondered about bats in baseball. Everyone talks about them but they are very rare at a baseball game. I’ve heard of a seagull getting hit but never a bat. But they (and baseball) become more important in October. I was not surprised that they were mentioning bats a lot on Hallowe’en when the Jays and Dodgers played. But I was a bit puzzled why they kept up the talk on the November 1st game. I mean, honestly. Hasn’t everyone moved on to Christmas by that date?”

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Trumpkin the Pumpkin versus Trump

Posted on 1 November 2025 by Larry Russwurm

It’s that time of year, November 1st, when we are overrun by useless Trumpkin the pumpkins (or jack o’ lanterns to some). Trump is much like the Trumpkin the pumpkins in that he, too, is useless on November 1st as he is most days of the year.

Also like Trumpkin the pumpkin, Trump makes sure that he is orange. He makes sure that every last part of his body is sprayed orange as he has a phobia of being any other colour.

Trump has also stolen from Trumpkin the pumpkin, the idea of being rotund. Trump seems to think that McDonald’s (get it – Mc Donald’s – he sure is vain about his name) is the ultimate food purveyor in the world and has many a meal with this fast food giant. But really he just wants to be rotund like Trumpkin the pumpkin.

Trumpkin the pumpkin has no space inside its head for brains. This is a fact that is blatantly visible in a glance at this Hallowe’en essential. While we can’t see inside Trump’s head to see that he is in fact brainless, we can listen to him speak for awhile to ascertain that he, too, has little in the way of brains inside his shell.

Trumpkin the pumpkin is one scary looking dude, especially when he is lit. Trump is one scary dude, also especially when he is lit. If the things he does don’t scare you, then I think you aren’t paying attention too well to all the things he is doing.

But now it is November 1st and we can destroy our Trumpkin the pumpkins. It’s just so satisfying dropping them from at least a second story window onto the pavement. Then if you want, you can pick up the pieces and donate them to a hungry farm animal.

Or we can have fun and play soccer against the wall of a brick building. If Trumpkin the pumpkin doesn’t shatter from the kick, then he can shatter when kicked into the brick wall. As well,when you’re done you can donate the pieces to a hungry farm animal.

It is important to remember that the preceding two paragraphs shouldn’t be done to Trump himself. After all the secret service is known to shoot to kill. However, you can get the word out to any cannibal that Trump is orange because he tastes like pumpkin pie.

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October 2025 Grab Bag o’ Humour

Posted on 18 October 2025 by Larry Russwurm

Wouldn’t you know it, that a rock star like Steven Tyler would sing the line “Life’s a journey not a destination.” That would be a rock star who has spent half his lifetime touring and thus been on a journey. But every journey has its destination. If your life is the journey than the destination can be no other place than death.

I prefer not to say my whole life is a journey. Maybe it’s many little journeys. I can live with that. Then half my destinations are going home which is a lot more comforting than saying my final destination is death. And many of my journeys away from home I’ve enjoyed, too. So I’ve enjoyed more than half my destinations. It sounds like I very well might enjoy my life more than Steven Tyler who is going straight to death.

So I guess my line would be, “Life is journeys, not just one big destination.” Awkward perhaps but still better than Tyler’s line.

*

A month or two ago I saw something on the news that made me think. It was a drug bust where the cops carefully showed the wares they had nabbed.

Some of the drugs were in a package. I was impressed that they tried to make the package inviting. The packages said “Road Runna” as the title. There was a cartoon drawing of a road runner that was a little bit different than Warner Bros.’ Road Runner cartoon.

I laughed at all this. Underground gangs are so scared of copyright law that they will not use the normal road runner on their drug packets. They felt they had to change the name and not completely rip off the art.

I can just see them in prison comparing notes.

“What are you in for?”

“13 Years for drug trafficking. You?”

“I’m in for a couple millennia for violating copyright.”

A hush would descend on them for a couple minutes out of respect for the crime.

*

I would like to make a public service announcement about Artificial Intelligence and how to spot it. From now on, Anything named Al is not to be trusted. No matter how many human tests it passes anything named Al is likely to be A. I. and not a person.

Same with Alan, Allen, Alf, Aladdin, Aiden, Sal and Hal. Note that this last, cutesy, dressed up name was already used for the A. I. in 2001 a space odyssey. You didn’t get it then, until Hal started having ideas of his own. So get it now before the real world substitutes A. I. for humans.

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Attracted by Name

Posted on 4 October 2025 by Larry Russwurm

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. People are attracted to professions by their own name. That’s why there are a disproportionate amount of dentists named Dennis, lawyers named Lawrence and judges named Judy.

But I believe it goes even further than this. Your own name attracts you to other things, not just professions,

My favourite author is Larry Niven. His science fiction is riddled with many interesting and mind bending ideas for the future. Heretofore, I believed my liking his stories was an unbiased thing, based totally on merit. Now, I see that I am just a ball of conceit, picking someone with my own name to be my favourite writer.

Anyone who knows me well, knows that my favourite musical artist is Yes. Of course I love the song Roundabout which is their biggest song. But the second song I liked by them was Starship Trooper. Starship Trooper is divided into three sections. i) Lifeseeker, ii) Disillusion and iii) Wurm. Notice that Wurm is spelled like the last half of my surname. I guess I’m still a ball of conceit.

I could have picked Larry Gowan as my favourite musical act. But he only had 3 or 4 songs that were played regularly on the radio. However, when I first got into residence back in the late eighties, someone said I looked like Gowan. Then they asked me my name and I of course said Larry. So I got the nick name of Gowan.

Later, for one of those 3 or 4 songs on the radio, he teamed up with Jon Anderson of Yes for the song Moonlight Desires. So even here, we’re back to Yes.

Now I’m just wondering how I can get the Russ part of my last name involved. But I don’t know any celebrities named Russ.

Maybe I can say that the show Friends is my favourite sitcom because it features a character named Ross. But really its only about my 5th favourite sitcom.

Maybe I can say that my favourite place to live is the Rustbelt. Kitchener, Hamilton and Toronto used to be the three corners of the Golden Triangle which was where half the manufacturing in Canada was done. Yes it rusted for a few years but Toronto survived by being the centre of Canada and surpassed Montreal for being the largest city in Canada. Kitchener used its technology assets to become viable again. I’m not sure of the situation in Hamilton, but I don’t really think Ontario considers itself to be a Rustbelt area anymore.

Maybe I’m being persnickety by not accepting the spellings of Rust and Ross as an adequate substitute for Russ.

Maybe I’ll find a Russ someday and become that perfect ball of conceit that, it seems, I always wanted to become.

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Poop!

Posted on 20 September 2025 by Larry Russwurm

Don’t be surprised if aliens think we want poop.

We take our dogs for a walk just so they can poop in front of us. Then, carefully, we pick it up until we can dispose of it. Then we call dogs “Man’s best friend”. That makes it sound like we’re just angling for more poop.

Then we also take care of poop of other animals. Cats we dutifully change the kitty litter for. Farm animals are cleaned up after by farmers (in the barn that is). Then it is collected and aged and put on the fields. All to allegedly grow more food!

But it is our babies that will make aliens think we want poop. We carefully change them and dispose of the poop. Then we talk about how parenthood has changed us. That we feel such love for our children and have a bond that is oh so strong.

But we stop talking about about such things when our kids are old enough to talk and start to say no to a lot of things we think we are doing for their own good. They may be old enough to talk but that is also about the age they can go potty on their own.

So we reminisce about the good old days when they were a baby. And couldn’t go to the potty on their own.

The common denominator is obvious. We bond with creatures when we can dispose of their poop.

Don’t be surprised when an alien has a dookie right in front of us.

We will get angry and ask it why it did this. They will explain themselves much as I’ve explained it above. “We just want to be loved, as you love other creatures. Now dispose of it!”

Then the humans will explain that we only dispose of the poop of those other creatures because they are imbeciles. Which is a good way of getting that same alien to fling its poop in your face.

“There! I’m an imbecile. Now love me!”

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