Betelgeuse

Posted on 11 January 2025 by Larry Russwurm

As an amateur astronomer, I eventually ran into the name Betelgeuse. Only about 50 stars have proper names (rather than unique tags) and this was one of them. I tripped over this name when I first encountered it. Was it Bettell – geese? Bettell goose? I gave up and moved on.

When the movie Beetle Juice first came out, I actually made the connection. But I wasn’t sure so I also asked a professional astronomer how to pronounce it. They proved my guess was right when they said it’s Beetle Juice. Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse!

Well I was just wondering how on earth astronomers managed to stay out of Beetle Juice’s clutches, when they said Betelgeuse like it was no big thing. Sometimes three times. Is there a way that Beetle Juice can somehow sense the spelling of the name, too, although they are speaking and there is no phonetic difference?

Then I looked up this site and found that Beetle Juice can be banished if you say his name 3 times after he has shown up. So all those astronomers willy nilly saying Betelgeuse 3 times just have to say it three more times.

Since they’re wrapped up in their work, they might not even notice him when Beetle Juice first shows up. And in the meantime they’ve likely said Betelgeuse three more times.

But I’m a tad more paranoid than your average professional astronomer. As such I counted how many times I wrote Beetle Juice or Betelgeuse. Since for generally being free of mayhem, it must be in multiples of six. I write Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, to leave on a good footing.

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Gordon

Posted on 4 January 2025 by Larry Russwurm

In the realm of music, Gordie Tapp was the first Canadian Gordon who made it big. He was in the country field. Indeed, he was a regular on the country show, Hee Haw. He only had a couple hits because he was more of an entertainer, emcee, broadcaster and writer.

Gordon Lightfoot is the most famous Canadian Gordon musician. With mega hits like Sundown and If You Could Read My Mind, Lightfoot was known world wide and had a huge fan base. Was he folk, country, or rock? No one could really tell but he didn’t need to say, he was just a singer/songwriter that wheedled his way into the hearts and minds of many people.

Gord Deppe is the main songwriter and singer/guitarist for the Canadian rock band The Spoons. They had the hits Nova Heart, Romantic Traffic and Those Old Emotions. He’s also been known to play guitar for Flock of Seagulls.

Gord Downie was the lead singer and lyricist for the Canadian rock band The Tragically Hip. He led the band through most of their existence and even put out some of his own solo work. He died tragically in 2017 of terminal brain cancer.

Probably all you non Canadians figure that there must be a lot of Canadian Gordons since so many are successful musicians. But that’s just not true. I’ve lived my whole 57 years in Canada and have just personally known 1 Gordon. He was a teacher of mine.

So this famous Canadian musician thing that the Gordons have is a statistical anomaly.

In the very early nineties, the Canadian rock band the Bare Naked Ladies seemed to be doing everything right. Their shock name got the attention of nearly everyone, they had two lead singers and had an album’s worth of songs including 4 or 5 that were ear worms. All they needed was a good album title and perhaps they could guarantee success.

They decided to play it conservatively and went with the name Gordon, simply based on how popular Canadians named Gordon seemed to be in pop. They contrived themselves into a successful release and the rest is history for the band.

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Best Posts of 2024

Posted on 29 December 2024 by Larry Russwurm

It is boxing week, again, where I try to highlight some of my best posts of the last year.

At the start of this year I trot out one of my pet peeves. In Summiting Everest, you can easily tell that these people, who were once heroes in my mind, now occupy a much lower spot in my current estimation.

In Manufactured Battle of the Bands, I suggest that Dire Straits and the Who seem poles apart in certain regards.

In Simple Rock vs. Prog Rock, I refute one of Gene Simmons asinine suggestions. He suggested that it’s harder to come up with his simple songs than the more complex prog rock.

Selective Breeding gives step by step instructions that could lead to a superhuman,

Guitar Slinging looks at how rock artists sling their guitars and basses. So which style are you? Slung low or slung high?

Then finally in November 2024 Grab Bag o’ Humour, we look at geographical swearing, a newish name for the Donald, and the largest democracy.

Wishing you and yours best wishes for the coming year.

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Squeamish About Bitcoin

Posted on 15 December 2024 by Larry Russwurm

First of all, Bitcoin is a non fungible token or NFT. Doesn’t that sound kind of icky to you? It does to me.

But we can forgive Bitcoin for that. Especially if the NFT keeps rising in value. Which it has done since Donald Trump has gotten elected.

For whatever reason, Donald Trump has chosen to support Bitcoin. This puts the president elect in a weird position. You see El Salvador made Bitcoin the official currency in 2021. By supporting this NFT, Donald Trump is in essence being made into a lackey of El Salvador.

I don’t like Bitcoin. Not because I believe that governments should have power over their currencies. But because Bitcoin is extremely expensive environmentally.

Bitcoin uses an excessive amount of electricity to work. At present day usage, which isn’t that much compared to how it could be used, it is already using as much electricity as the whole country of Greece. Imagine how much electricity it would use if it were used regularly by all Americans. Bitcoin is a bad deal for the environment. Other NFTs are working on this problem by possibly working differently. But it still isn’t ironed out. And Bitcoin has shown no indication of reforming.

Maybe it’s because of this shortcoming that Satoshi Nakamoto lies low. He is the inventor of Bitcoin. Or the supposed inventor of Bitcoin. No one knows if he is really a person or a group that started Bitcoin. There is enough Bitcoin under that name that he would be a billionaire if he revealed himself. But all that Bitcoin under the name hasn’t changed hands in many years.

Is Satoshi Nakamoto embarrassed by his creation? Is it the electricity usage? Or is he fearing retaliation by those invested in country currencies? No one knows. But the way he lies low may mean that Bitcoin is a bad investment.

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Performance Enhancing AI

Posted on 7 December 2024 by Larry Russwurm

In my opinion, performance enhancing AI is exactly like performance enhancing drugs in sports. Performance enhancing AI should be banned in the fine arts when it comes to prizing.

Why? Because the jobs that pay in the fine arts are coveted by their law abiding practitioners. When dull, boring jobs are eliminated, usually no one bats an eye or cries. But when artists, writers and performers etc. are replaced, the many who have worked their lives to get to these positions, will be sad and distraught. These coveted jobs should not be taken by machines. Even if the machines are helped by humans and thus have some human content. And it’s unfair for a human to take credit for a machine’s work even if the human did part of the work.

I know the horse is out of the stable already and how can we retroactively enforce adherence to whatever laws we make? We can try, just as they did in sports, to catch the cheaters. I believe we can do a half decent job. Sure there are examples in sport of cheaters winning here and there. Well we can catch them eventually and enforce rules much after the fact.

I am not necessarily saying goodbye to all works with performance enhancing AI. I’m just saying take them out of all awards and have all works honestly listing any and all AI used in its creation. I think we like to support artists. Not the intellectual abilities of machines and artists. Not the intellectual abilities of machines. Give consumers the opportunity to choose what they support. I believe most will eventually support the pure artists. Especially when AI is coming after their own coveted jobs.

Right now AI is being considered for making book covers. Artists are expensive and indie book writers are trying to keep costs down.

Right now starving artists are tempted to write their grant applications, a prospectus for an art show or just a brief biography of themselves with AI. Proper editing is expensive.

To both of these I say don’t do it. AI is currently angling for both positions. Notice how work for both fine arts is disappearing if you do this.

Even such a “minor” use of AI should have to be acknowledged up front and can be reason enough to ban you from awards.

AI will eventually be coming for all the other jobs, too. Yes, science, even research and theorizing can be done by AI in my belief. Computer Science is part of that. No coveted job is safe with AI. I say, legislate things so coveted jobs are still mostly done by humans.

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Consonants Need Vowels?

Posted on 30 November 2024 by Larry Russwurm

I remember being told that consonants need vowels by one of my elementary school teachers. I remember repeating this to my oldest sister, Lynda, after she had a kid or two.

Lynda said no you don’t need a vowel sound to make a consonant sound. You can just say Boo [as in book] or Foo [as in foot], for the B and F sounds. Notice that I had to use vowels to illustrate my point. But I never caught on to that at the time.

So I remember pre talking with her babies and using what I thought were just consonant sounds to get them to the point where they could almost speak. A couple months later they were speaking.

The short oo sound is the “invisible” vowel in English. It is the u in pull and bull. And the vowel that is between the T and L in cattle and bottle. It may seem invisible at first, but it is definitely there. I don’t blame my sister or me for not realizing it was a vowel, because shows like Electric Company would use this “invisible” vowel to sound out words.

For instance they would say Boo A Doo when sounding out the word Bad. Then they would say the three letter names closer and closer together until magically the oo sound disappeared and they said Bad.

When I realized this, I thought for years that what I was originally told was correct. Consonants need vowels.

That is until I saw mmmm written out one day and I forced myself to think about this. So it became consonants need vowels except m.

Then I thought of a few more. Ssss doesn’t need a vowel. Neither does zzzz. There are also Shhhh and Zhhhh. (If you’re wondering what sound zh is, it’s the g in mirage, the s in leisure. In school I was taught that it was the soft g sound.)

Anyhow, that’s five exceptions to the consonants need vowels rule. Do you have any more?

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The Roaring Lion

Posted on 23 November 2024 by Larry Russwurm

If you heard the name of the famous photograph, The Roaring Lion, and asked to see it, I’m sure you would be confused. Firstly there is no image of an actual lion in this photograph. Instead you would see a rather dour looking Winston Churchill. Hardly a lion and at 67 years old, not nearly as strong or powerful as an actual lion.

As for the roaring? Churchill isn’t even opening his mouth, let alone roaring at the photographer. Maybe he’s humming but that’s about the only sound he could make when this picture was snapped.

But in symbolism, Great Britain has long been represented by a rampant lion, particularly Scotland. This is supposed to go back to ancient times. How a lion came to represent a nation without any lions at all, is truly one of life’s big wonders. Perhaps a better symbol of Britain could be a zookeeper. They are the people that not only brought the lion to the north, but take care of it as well.

Anyhow, if Britain is a lion, then in World War II, Churchill could have been said to be its voice. So perhaps that is the explanation of the name of this portrait.

But here is the real reason for the name of the portrait. The photographer, Karsh, asked Churchill to put his cigar in an ashtray since the smoke would interfere with the photo. Churchill refused so Karsh grabbed the cigar from Churchill while asking for forgiveness. Only then did Karsh take the photos, including the famous one where Churchill is having a nicotine fit.

After the session, Winston Churchill said, “You can even make a roaring lion stand still to be photographed.” And that is the official reason for the name of the picture.

It’s interesting that this photograph, which was hung in the Fairmont Chateau Laurier in Ottawa (which is signed by Karsh) is worth millions. It was stolen from its place last year and sold for only about $10 000. It is my belief that the negative is worth the most because more photos could be made from it. Library and Archives Canada holds that and is keeping the price of prints up by promising not to make any more photographs off the negative.

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November 2024 Grab Bag o’ Humour

Posted on 16 November 2024 by Larry Russwurm

Let’s say you wish to swear geographically. What would be the best way to go about this?

Well you may be up Schitt’s Creek without a paddle.

What the Fukishima is wrong with me?

If you don’t like it you can go to Helsinki!

Then there is also the grand twofer. Kiss my Aswan Dam it all.

*

In a bizarre turn of events, Donald Trump has decided that he wishes to be called by the more feminine side of his name: Dawn Trump.

There’s no word yet on whether the Dawn wishes to change their pronouns, but that could be coming in a future statement.

Some will likely be shocked by this revelation. But don’t be. The Dawn has been foreshadowing this for years with the orange hair and the orange skin. Indeed it could be said if dawn could be narrowed down to one colour, it just might be orange.

*

Canada and India have been having bad relations for a few years and it has been getting worse recently with Canada accusing India of killing a citizen on its soil as well as other egregious crimes. India denies the ties that have been found between Canadian crimes and its own government.

But really what is most straining on the relationship between the two is that they both want to be known as the world’s largest democracy. India wishes to claim this for the sheer size of its population. Canada wishes to claim it by the sheer size of its geography.

Will these two countries keep adding on new problems? Or will they get down to the real root cause of their feud? Maybe one could use world’s biggest democracy and the other could use world’s largest democracy.

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Rogaine Rogan

Posted on 9 November 2024 by Larry Russwurm

Joe Rogan is a famous podcaster. You may not be aware of the fact that people are attracted to their own names or very similar names. For instance Lawrences often become lawyers and Dennises often become dentists. So that’s why I call him Rogaine Rogan for his attraction to the pharmaceutical that is supposed to grow hair.

But wait you might say. Joe Rogan sports a bald head at most times. Surely he of all people would be anti Rogaine, if anything.

Maybe, but the call of Rogaine crept into his consciousness over time. He thought about adding it to his chest and legs to see how thick he could make those hairs in those parts of his body. Then he thought he might make it stylish to have a hairy back by using Rogaine there. He has just enough influence this just might become popular for awhile. But then he realized it would inevitably go out of style and he would be stuck shaving his back for the rest of his life. And he can’t reach there by himself.

So Joe decided to have a secret place where he let his hair grow – his esophagus. With this idea becoming firmly entrenched in his brain he began to chug bottles of Rogaine.

As the hair grew it slowly dawned on Joe that some of his food was getting trapped in the hair and not making it to his stomach. Of course he didn’t want to starve to death so he came up with the plan that he would have to shave it.

He tried using manual razors on a string. But this barely cut any hair because there was no leverage. It was time for him to think outside the box.

Acting quickly, with his stomach grumbling all the time, he enrolled in sword swallowing lessons. This poked the food down into his stomach and now he had hope.

But really his plan all along was to use a sword with a sharp blade. Once he inserted it, with his head up and his back straight, it could be slowly rotated to shave his interior esophagus. He would have to rotate that sword a full 360 degrees while inside him.

This was successful for Joe and now he easily does his sword swallowing shave once weekly.

So now Joe is happy and still is attracted to his name. So he watches anything that Seth Rogen has ever been associated with.

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The Mr Universe Pageant

Posted on 2 November 2024 by Larry Russwurm

For those who don’t know, the Mr. Universe pageant is all about body building. Those who have built their bodies to the maximum musculature are vying for the best bodies to be determined by the hopefully neutral judges.

They are judged on symmetry, proportion, muscle size and clarity.

Needless to say, I would not be eligible to win such a competition with my Dad bod. (Full disclosure: I am not a Dad.) But back in the day, when I did have a good body, I wouldn’t have been eligible for any of the awards of this pageant, either. Indeed I felt insecure about my body precisely because it never measured up to the standards of these body builders. By the very nature of this competition, you are meant to not feel good enough unless you are one of the top body builders in the world.

Indeed, people accomplished-with-their-bodies are meant to feel worse about their bodies because of these competitions. You know, gold medal swimmers, runners, decathletes, shotputters etc. feel lesser than body builders because of this competition.

I looked at some of the bios of the Mr. Universe winners and saw that only Eddy Ellwood was a Strong man competitor in Britain. In other words, all that body building doesn’t necessarily make a competent athlete. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that they are athletes. Decades ago I remember watching Battle of the Network Stars and thought that it was unfair that Lou Ferrigno (the Hulk) could compete. But then I saw him run his fastest. Those muscles in his legs may be strong but they weren’t fast.

So now I say don’t waste your time regretting that you don’t have a bodybuilder’s body. Your body may be attractive in its own right. I now think my high school body was good. I could see a six pack in my body back then. I thought I had a sunken in chest but I think it might have looked that way only because I had broad shoulders. Then I also felt insecure of the body I had in my twenties. I gained 15 pounds when I turned 20. The bottom two muscles in my six pack were now covered by a bit of fat so you could no longer see them. But my chest had gained muscle and now jutted out. But I was convinced that I weighed too little. I would be proud to have either body right now. And I will miss my present Dad bod when I am just a brain in a jar somewhere, clinging to a truly sedentary life.

I believe Mr. Universe is harming the world with the looks it presents as being excellent. That’s all it is, is looks. There is no talent contest. There are no questions that might make you think of these men as anything but muscle heads. These contests are worse for society than even beauty pageants. Still, if I had to move furniture and could only choose my movers based on looks, I think I would choose the last couple reigning Mr. Universes.

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