Now that I’ve found this ubercool spelling for the kitchen utensil, I’m afraid I’m going to have to insist that 4k (pronounced fork) only refers to the four tined variety of implement. Can we all agree that 5 tines and over should be called a comb and we’ll have to invent words for the 2 and 3 tined implements?

We can just add a k to the words three and two. How about a 3k or a 2k?

Instead of having a 4k in the road:

we will have a 2k (pronounced toque) in the road:

Of course saying “toqued” tongue is awkward. So we’ll have to replace it with “split” tongue.

Indeed 3k (pronounced threek) will be hard to bring to mind sometimes. We could use trident to replace it even though trident implies a more spear-like use than the old fork usage. And maybe we could coin the term “bident”.

Sporks have three tines. Thus “speeks or spidents would have to be the new word. I’m not sure which I favour.

Tuning forks would become tuning toques, or tuning bidents. I do prefer tuning toques.

“Fork in the road” could also become “split in the road”.

Much needs to be changed to make way for 4k. But after seeing that spelling again, isn’t it all worth it?

And if you’ve noticed the sad job that the civil engineers did in painting the fork and toque roads I illustrated – how ineffectual are they at their job? Indicating you can pass in either direction on both hills?! I smell a lawsuit on those highways.

About Larry Russwurm

Just another ranter on the Internet. Now in the Fediverse as @admin@larryrusswurm.org
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