Are Plants Drunk Off the Excess Carbon Dioxide?

Very often, too much of even a good thing can result in wonkiness. For plants, the excess carbon dioxide in the atmosphere because of all mankind’s activities, is probably a good thing for them. You see, plants take in carbon dioxide and give off oxygen – the opposite of the animal world which takes in oxygen and gives off carbon dioxide. An excess of carbon dioxide probably makes life a little easier for a plant’s survival. This may be heady resulting in at least some plants getting drunk.

So what if plants get a little drunk? That probably doesn’t effect humans in any large way. True. But we can at least look at the plant world and look at those species which best exemplify this state of being.

Dandelions are very visible right now in the northern hemisphere. Wherever grass grows, dandelions seem to grow a bit better. But right now, some are turning into fuzz balls. It’s only a matter of days till these dandelions begin puking up their seeds. Puke that floats lazily on the wind and kids try to catch for a chance at a wish.

The tumbleweeds are getting so tipsy they just take the path of least resistance and go wherever the wind takes them.

The thornbush has imbibed so heavily on the carbon dioxide that it is spoiling for a fight. A fight it usually wins.

Vines just limply hang there. I hope someone took their car keys because they are as up for things as a passed out human.

There are many plants that are creepers. Maybe they were more impressive before the record levels of carbon dioxide came into being. But now they are reduced to crawling and otherwise inching their way around.

And then there are the water loving weeping willows. The wind through their branches sound that familiar drunk refrain – “I love you, man.” It is only after this that they weep.

So while humanity tries to retool to the global warming brought about by the excess carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, at least some of the plant world has lived it up so much they are clearly drunk most of the time. I say it’s time for prohibition for plants. Like food addicts they need to cut their consumption back to more normal levels.

About Larry Russwurm

Just another ranter on the Internet. Now in the Fediverse as
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One Response to Are Plants Drunk Off the Excess Carbon Dioxide?

  1. Cedric Sims says:

    On May 2, after nightfall shut down photosynthesis for the day in Hawaii, carbon dioxide levels in the atmosphere touched 400 parts-per-million there for the first time in at least 800,000 years. Near the summit of volcanic Mauna Loa—where a member of the Keeling family has kept watch since 1958— sensors measured this record through sunrise the following day. Levels have continued to dance near that benchmark in recent days, registering above 400 ppm for the first time in eons after midnight on May 7. When the measurements started the daily average could be as low as 315 ppm, already up from a pre-industrial average of around 280 ppm.

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