Alligator Tamer

We’ve all heard of the daring lion tamer. Often this act will see the tamer controlling these large animals with a whip. I don’t recommend you doing this at home. But the grand finale of some lion tamer acts will see the tamer sticking his head in the lion’s mouth. This shows the tamer’s total control of the lion. Even in this weak position, the tamer still controls the lion well enough that the creature does not make a meal of him.

But we’ve all seen this act and might now want an exciting variant. The show I’m thinking of starting is the alligator tamer spectacle. Sticking your head in a lion’s mouth is for wimps.

Why alligators? Well quite frankly those creatures have been measured to have the strongest bite of any creature on earth. An alligator should quite easily be able to crack the skull open of any human stupid enough to put their head in its mouth.

I have a plan. You see, alligators are cold blooded. For them this means that they lie dormant for the winter months. And thus is born my plan.

I will work my magic in a glass enclosed space. I will cool this environment to winter temperatures. I will test it a number of times with a skull protector that can handle the pressures of an alligator’s full bite. I will experiment with the temperature and putting my protected head in, until I find the sweet spot where I can put my head in the alligator’s mouth without it chomping down.

With the known sweet spot I will take my show on the road, to any circus willing to pay my exorbitant fees. I will become a star. Maybe I’ll sell videos of my deed.

To me the phrase “cold blooded” will be a selling feature. Unlike when it is used to describe a guiltless killer. I will feed my cold blooded alligator well in the summer months. It will grow if only to make my prowess at the shows even more impressive.

About Larry Russwurm

Just another ranter on the Internet. Now in the Fediverse as
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