) @ ^^ ^, I’m Good

I like to think of this site as having a sort of offbeat yet highbrow humour. But search results cut my ego down to size. One of the most popular searches that leads to this site is: “spelling sh*t with symbols”. Well I may not be highbrow, but I know when I have been popular and how to replicate that. So today we learn to spell d*mn with symbols.

I of course gave it away in the title of this post. There is a trick to using these symbols. I use two carets (also known as ‘hats’) for the m and one caret for the n. The trick to making them look like letters is to use a space between each. So I’ve used a space between all four ‘letters’. So thus we have: ) @ ^^ ^ , and of course thinking back to our earlier $#!+, we can get ) @ ^^ ^^ ! + .

These are good for using your typewriter’s keyboard. But to get that ultimate swear word we have to search far afield for different symbols. For the F, I say we start in music with the bass clef symbol. This symbol actually is an F but is so stylized I think we can get away with it. The symbol is such that the line between the two dots that represent the arms of the F is the note F. (Indeed, in the more popular treble clef, that symbol is a stylized G and where you finish drawing the G is on the line that stands for G.)

The U might be represented by the symbol which represents the short vowel in English. The C can of course be represented by ( . I have no way I know of for making a symbol K. If anyone has ideas say so in the comments. But sounding out the word makes the K almost unnecessary. Thus we have the misspelt word as:

fuc

H*ll is the last of the big five swear words. I could take the easy route and let you know that it can be spelled upside down in LCD lettering by 7734. The 4 doesn’t work out on most computers and software. I could fix it with the pound symbol, which also contains an upside down H. Thus we have 773#. Still, I think we might be able to do something right side up.

Decades ago during my childhood, we had an old typewriter that contained the pound symbol. I mean the symbol for the British pound currency. It was a stylized L which ought to be good for our Ls. The North American pound symbol or the number symbol might be on British keyboards, too, and thus be used for the H since it contains an H. The trick here is that I’ve always thought ampersand looks sort of like a curvy E. Thus, someone with a British keyboard might be able to spell out:

h*ll

We North Americans will have to draw it out because, alas, our computer keyboards can’t make this either.

So what is the point of all this? Maybe we can hack the old strategy of substituting swear words with random symbols. This was usually done in the comics to allow kids to know that adults are swearing but not actually using the words. So all you comics artists out there, won’t those kids be surprised when they turn a little older and find meaning in those symbols? Won’t adults be angry when you slide this in for their kids? Don’t worry, if you lose your job I hear that drawing for a more adult market is more fulfilling anyway.

So due to the bad nature of my ultimate intent, perhaps I should have called this piece: ) @ ^^ ^, I’m Bad. But Michael Jackson has corrupted bad into meaning good, so as you see we are stuck with the original title.

About Larry Russwurm

Just another ranter on the Internet
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