Maybe You Can Take It With You

‘You can take it with you’ is what the ancient Egyptians were told. This led to huge tombs for the rich, where not only did they mummify your remains, but they also gave you a large stock of what you might need from this earth in your next life. To me this was an age where capitalism reigned supreme. Not only did merchants have to supply the living but they supplied the dead as well.

Of course this unfettered capitalism also led to grave robbing, but that is neither here nor there.

A case might be made by a greedy modern corporation for ‘taking it with you’ at modern day funerals. Most people nowadays still believe in an afterlife, it’s just assumed that this afterlife is so terrific that you don’t need earthly goods in that place. A wise, super capitalistic corporation would question this.

It is also true that especially devout modern believers in heaven, also see a value in turning their backs on the goods of this earth. Many monks and nuns have been known to honour vows of poverty. Could it be that this is a good skill to develop on earth because any heaven might have a shortage of worldly goods? Yes, of course, it would be a hugely spiritual place, but that focus might forget or offer only as an afterthought modern amenities. So perhaps we should begin ‘taking it with us’.

When I first heard of this sound system in a coffin, I thought it was a simply stupid offer. Now that I see that the higher power might not provide this in a heaven of their own choosing, I see the practicality of it all.

But far from this coffin being an endpoint of luxury, now I see it as just a start. Why leave technology up to the higher power. After all it is widely known that one of the most dangerous sites to visit for computer viruses are often religious groups. We can work around this deficiency when we die by burying ourselves with some of that great tech.

And when we become pack rats even in death, we can leave the worldly plane with a smile on our faces. After all we will help capitalism and the economy of the world of the living by trying to take our goods with us.

Selling this idea I now leave up to the mighty corporations of this earth. After all, they are going to profit off this the most. They should tell us that we can take it with us in ads so cute we can’t resist doing as we are told.

Don’t forget if you’re a stockholder and your CEO and other hires don’t follow this greedy capitalist path, then they are communists. As such you will have to sue your hires into compliance. That’s what some recent laws are for – protecting the primacy of the shareholder. Carry on.

About Larry Russwurm

Just another ranter on the Internet. Now in the Fediverse as
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