Guaranteed Way of Beating the Freshman 15

The much dreaded “Freshman 15” refers to the gain of 15 pounds by university and college freshmen. We know this pitfall exists so why haven’t we done anything about this? In this era of increased obesity amongst younger people maybe we can use my guaranteed method of fighting the freshman 15 as the first salvo in a successful war on obesity.

I can hear many of you doubting that I actually have a guaranteed method to fight the freshman 15. Allow me to plant my seed of an idea. If all those young adults never leave high school, how will they encounter the freshman 15? I’ll say it more proactively. If students never leave their high school they are highly unlikely to encounter the freshman 15.

We can peek at all the possible causes of the freshman 15. There is the stress of leaving Mom and Dad’s house. There is the stress of living away from home. There is the forced learning of how to cook good nutritious meals for the first time. There is the opportunity to spoil your next meal with too many chips or cookies. There are the constant pizza parties. There is the sudden and new intake of large amounts of alcohol.

If you never leave home you will never encounter these stressors. If you never leave home your parents can continue to stock good foods for you. If you never leave high school you will never have to navigate new social groups ever again. The price your parents might make you pay for staying at home would be to not abuse alcohol like most college students. In fact they might limit you to your high school consumption levels.

But surely I don’t expect everyone to remain in high school. Students would get bored studying the same curriculum again and again. (Wouldn’t this drive them to drink and overeat?) How would society function if everyone were stuck in high school?

The grade 12s would graduate. Then return to classrooms of the high school where they graduated. But they would telecommute to universities and colleges all over the world. After they complete their post secondary stint they could graduate to the workplace – also in their school. We have the technology to telecommute to both work and school. Why shouldn’t we take full advantage?

Fine, I’ve saved everyone from the freshman 15 and even the possible first job 15, but where oh where are we going to put that next group of grade nines that wants to go to an already full high school?

I freely admit that we are going to have to build a new high school every 4 years but look at all the savings. Instead of all those expensive and award winning college and university buildings, all we have to build are boring high schools. I’m sure the government will end up saving more money after all.

Real commuting will all but cease, leaving the roads free to the pleasure driver.

But most of all we will have beaten the freshman 15. How much type 2 diabetes and all its costs will this move save?

Now that we have this under our belts, we can move onward to childhood obesity. Who will come up with that guaranteed plan?

About Larry Russwurm

Just another ranter on the Internet
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