We are in dire need of another Donald Trump roast. Since 2012 we have learned so much more about the Donald now that this update must be done and soon.
First of all we would have no problem getting comedians. At this point, the Donald could be roasted all in simple sarcasm. “The Donald is a man of truth.” Or “The high Cheeto is a white man who is so pro equal rights that the Nobel Prize is really his just for the asking.”
But, some comedians might say, sarcasm is usually the domain of teenyboppers looking for a way to express themselves. It really isn’t high comedy that is going to make adults have full belly laughs. Or have adults repeating the jokes the very next day.
I object to this. Just pay attention to the finishing of the human rights bit. “The orange headed troll doll is known for his strong support of equal rights for all the peoples around the world. He never lets the rights of females fall to the wayside. And obviously he is a fan of the LGBTQ community.”
Imagine a polished comedian saying the first sarcastic sentence. Of course she’ll leave a slight pause after it for people to realize that this is the time to laugh. But I bet that even an experienced roaster might have trouble coming in again. She might try a couple times before the roll of laughter of the audience subsides enough. There will be similar effects after the other two sentences.
Now imagine the laughter continuing as the roaster calls out other positive attributes Donald ‘rump just doesn’t have.
“Honest! A man of his word! Empathetic! A fair man!” The jokes and laughs just go on and on.
But for a true comedy roast, ‘rump must be in attendance. Microphone or no, Trump will try to out yell the roasters. As well, he will tweet his displeasure to the world, calling each comedian “unfunny”. So Donny boy will have to be gagged and handcuffed throughout the whole roast.
And that last sentence is the real reason to have the roast. I would laugh so hard at a bound and gagged Trump. That might be as close to jail or impeachment as the nervous Democrats will ever get him to be.