Halloween’s Revenge

I’m so lightning fast that I thought of a Halloween post in December. While most would think that’s a couple months late, I claim it’s about 10 months early.

But of course I won’t remember 10 months from now so it’s being posted today. Just think of it as revenge for all the times people began gearing up for Christmas in October. November is the proper time for thinking like that. Even then, I think people should remember Remembrance Day first.

I think Halloween is rotting the minds of our youth. How do they ever expect to be a door to door salesperson? On Halloween they just say the three magic words and they get what they want. At the very first house.

If there were three magic words that could make your product very, very salable to the masses, I imagine you could make a fortune informing salesmen all over the world about it. Even with three magic words involved in selling your product, it likely wouldn’t sell at every house. No, trick or treating has nothing to teach our youth about the realities of life.

In fact, trick or treating has something bad to show our children. It leaves us with the idea that blackmailing can pay off quite handsomely. And it seems quite low risk because no one ever reports you because you kept your ask quite minimal – you’re just doing the ask of a hundred different people to make up for it.

As an adult, what could you possibly blackmail a group for? I think you could use almost anything that lowers the property value in an area. For instance you could say that a few blocks were high crime areas. But you had better have proof to back it up. Then you could ask for $100 from every house in that area to not make their property values head south.

But what about that proof? You could say that thousands of unreported felonies were committed in the area. All you have to do is take video at Halloween of all the kids trick or treating. They are committing a felony at every house that they say the magic words to. Then those same kids are being paid off in candy.

Some in the community might want to keep this ongoing grift. In your blackmail letter you can say you will turn a blind eye to it in future years. But for now you want your $100 bill. From 100 houses, that makes $10 000. I think I’ve found the three magic words for adults. Mass production blackmail.

About Larry Russwurm

Just another ranter on the Internet
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