Birthday Holidays, The Government, and Anti-Birthdays

It is my belief that everyone should have a holiday on their birthday. Since we all celebrate birthdays, we might as well do it right. And this would be such a primo holiday because everything would be open on your holiday. Unless of course your birthday is Xmas day or some such. In which case you could take the birthday holiday on say Xmas Eve. Or, if your birthday falls on the weekend, you could take either the Friday or Monday off and get a long weekend. Let’s celebrate our birthdays like never before!

Of course there are those who like to get as tanked as possible on their birthdays. Maybe they could still work their birthday and get the following day off for recovery. So maybe people should get the choice of taking their birthday off or the following day. We’re only thinking of what’s best for the business they are in. And perhaps we’ll progress to the stage where we will give a birthday holiday and the following day will be a holiday as well. Wouldn’t that be great? Two birthday holidays!

But do you know who seems to want the opposite of birthday holidays? Why the government of course. I don’t know who soured them so much on birthdays. But governments have given us unpaid work to do for our birthdays, stressed us out as the birthday approaches and even made us pay as our birthday becomes due. Why the government is the Ebeneezer Scrooge and the Grinch of birthdays!

That’s right, the government makes identification cards become due on your birthday. So you have to do the free work of getting new ID. Plus health cards may come due on this day. If you don’t get them renewed you might not be covered in case of bad health. This can majorly stress someone out. The government of course makes you pay for these IDs and things like licence plate stickers might have to be paid for every year as your birthday rolls around.

I can kind of see the government’s reasoning for making these things due on your birthday. Making it due on your birthday makes sure that government secures business for their outlets all throughout the year. This is efficient since they have to staff such businesses all year long. Maybe, just maybe there’s a way to keep this efficiency while also not putting a dent into the annual birthday celebrations.

I suggest having anti-birthdays. This would maximize the time separation from having these government difficulties, I suggest doing them on your anti birthday, six months from when your actual birthday is. If your birthday is October 21st, you’re anti-birthday is April 21st. If your birthday is January 9th, your anti-birthday would be July 9th.

There would be a problem matching the ends of the month. For instance an August 29tth, 30th and 31st would usually have no anti-birthday in February. Since the anti-birthday need not be perfect, just say that the anti-birthday for these people could be any day in March.

When the government starts introducing the concept of anti-birthdays, we can finally say that they aren’t anti-birthday! Then, finally, we might be close to realizing the dream of a birthday holiday.

About Larry Russwurm

Just another ranter on the Internet
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