Things the Religious Might Be a Front For

Recently it was discovered that a Methodist pastor was dealing meth. Now we can’t all be in the glamourous business of drug dealing, but here are some other things the religious might be a front for.

If you guessed that a yogi might be a gateway religious icon for yoga, you would be very right. The words are very similar for a reason and lends credence(creedence?) to the rest of our examples.

Have you ever thought that Presbyterians were a bit too nosy for their own good? Well, they might be a front for the press of the world. Always searching for that big scoop that will make a big name for themselves.

Many protestant clergymen are known as ministers. This word is also a verb as to minister to the sick. These twisted people might rejoice in giving service. That’s sick, itself, needing more ministering.

Lutherans could be a front for luthiers, you know, those who make and fix stringed instruments. So if you hear a hoedown coming from behind a Lutheran church, you know what is what.

Monks could be a front for Monkees lovers. They do their awesome chanting until no one is within earshot, then break into, “Hey, hey, we’re the Monkees, and people say we monkey around, but we’re too busy singing to put anybody down.”

The priesthood could mean any criminal priest. Maybe he sells meth like his methodist friend. Or perhaps he’s known for other crimes.

Rabbis could be a front for selling rabbits. Do you have a petting zoo? Go see the rabbi for your rabbits and other small, yet cute, mammal needs.

No matter how much you give to nuns, they are giving none away. After all, they are too busy being married to Jesus.

Anglicans may think they are a front for angels. But they are too busy eyeing the angles for their best advantage.

About Larry Russwurm

Just another ranter on the Internet. Now in the Fediverse as
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