July Grab Bag o’ Humour

Giant hogweed had a nicer name when it was first exported to North America from Asia. It was supposed to be a nice, big, decorative plant. Oh, the folly of our ancestors! It spread easily and it quite earned the name of giant hogweed.

This plant’s sap is on the outside of its stem and can cause painful burns and scarring. Because the sap reacts to the UV light in sunlight, you are recommended to cover the exposed area from the sun and wash the site with soap and water immediately. Sensitivity to sunlight can last years.

Giant hogweed is indeed a giant hog that is also a weed. I vote that we call the initial importers of this noxious plant, giant hogs, too.

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You just knew the Canadian men’s soccer team’s attempt to win the Copa America was going to be Messi. Their very first game was against the number one seed Argentina with their star player, Lionel Messi. They lost that game 2-0.

They then beat Peru 1-0 and tied Chile 0-0 which was enough to get them into the playoffs. They won their first playoff game on penalty kicks against Venezuela. Then they lost to Argentina, again, 2-0. It was Messi. He got one goal which was enough to beat Canada.

So now they play Uruguay to decide if they are the 3rd or 4th place team. Either way, that’s higher than Canada was supposed to get anyway. Good for team Canada.

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Baby boomers love to whine about Gen Z and Millennial participation trophies. They whine so much about it that you just know they secretly wanted these themselves.

And now I shall present proof of this. In the mid 70s there was a band called Hot Chocolate who had a hit with the song “Everyone’s a Winner”. This is a prime baby boomer era song. Baby boomers loved this song so much that they literally bought it. This was a boomer’s version of a participation trophy.

Besides, who were the people who first gave out the participation trophies to Millennials and Gen Z?Teachers at their school must have. And usually these teachers are a generation or two older than the students. That’s right boomers, I’m blaming you for the participation trophies in the first place.

What would the Greatest Generation say?

About Larry Russwurm

Just another ranter on the Internet. Now in the Fediverse as @admin@larryrusswurm.org
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