Could We Save Lives, Money and Put a Dent in Crime?

I’m not trying to oversell it but I’m very excited about my idea that could save a life or lives, thousands – even millions of dollars and help take a bite out of crime. And that’s just in my region alone. But at the same time I don’t want you to expect many lives saved, millions of dollars saved and less crime. Because you see I don’t have a certain statistic.

That is the statistic of how many people have trouble memorizing 911. Sure it’s short, but you’ve heard some say it themselves – there are people who are number challenged. So my idea is to make a handy mnemonic to memorize 911.

That’s right, the people who make mnemonics have been slacking off. In the many years that we’ve had the 911 system, not one intellectual has come up with a mnemonic for ease in memorizing it. The usual mnemonic producers have been barricaded in their ivory towers. Like the astronomers, who avoid sexual harassment charges while still saying, “Oh Be A Fine Girl, Kiss Me!”

The 9 in 911 looks like a small uncapitalized G. The two ones look like I’s. That’s right, my mnemonic is “Guys”.

So when your house is burning down you need Guys to help you. When someone is running off with an expensive iPad of yours you need Guys to help. When someone close to you is having a heart attack, you need Guys who know something about medicine.

Notice how my little mnemonic doesn’t require you to know numbers. On the keypad you can just punch little G and I’s. If you go too far with the I’s it still sends you to 911 – the extra I’s are irrelevant.

Now I know you want to thank me for coming up with this. So to keep this as unembarassing as possible I offer one big blanket, “You’re welcome, world.”