Don’t Worry, 2030 Will Come At Long Last

The saga of the baby boomers has filled the media for many of the last decades. Like no other group before them or since, they have been coddled. Except possibly in their most recent life milestone, where retirement ages have increased, since too many baby boomers were set to retire.

Of course the increased retirement age will affect me and younger generations, too. And those cushy jobs that demand seniority? My generation will be kept out of them even longer than anticipated.

So it is with a trembling feeling of happiness that I look forward to 2030 – when those lead year baby boomers are most statistically likely to die.

Oh, the baby boomers have seen it. That’s why we have two, not one daily shows dedicated to doctors and medicine. As more panic sets in, expect to see a doctor network on television.

The baby boomer great dying is not going to come about with poetic justice. That would only happen if the most coddled of all baby boomers – the lead years, those born in 1945 or 1946, would all die that year. Because dying is statistically random (if fated).

But for this case, the lead baby boomers are those who died young. Like Freddie Mercury, Patrick Swayze or Michael Jackson. So let these ones hog the glory and for once give none of it to the lead year baby boomers.

So what will we see in 2030? Maybe they’ll tear down high rises to put up cemeteries.

Cremation will be banished to far outside of city limits because of the damaging heat island effect processing so many bodies will take.

And in every other life milestone, the baby boomers have claimed it to be a new game. And basically baby boomers are the first generation to live as adults where cryogenic services were possible. Expect more and more baby boomers to try this service. Because what they truly thought would happen, huge life extension, probably won’t happen by 2030.

So these huge cryogenic storage facilities will allow baby boomers to waste electricity just as they did while they were alive. Expect rolling blackouts everywhere else, because even in death, baby boomers will be catered to. Ask the media.