Improving on the Fallible Coin Flip

Have you ever had to settle something with a good old fashioned coin flip? It’s not 50/50 odds here in Canada when we use a quarter to settle the dispute. In that case the first side to call the flip almost always wins. You see one side of our quarter is a moose’s head and the other side is an old, old, moose’s head (do your worst monarchist league!) Naturally the first call of heads, wins.

 And a coin flip can be indecisive and land on edge. It’s very rare but can be made more possible when using the coin on lawn to decide something in a sports game.

 Whenever possible, I like to use cats to solve problems, as I own one. For 50/50 odds some might try to use the gender of a strange cat as a deciding factor. But I know that exposure to chemicals can bias the human gender one way or another. I bet it’s the same for a litter of kittens. Then of course there are life factors that can alter things. For instance a mother cat can die in childbirth which could bias the gender of cats toward male.

 But there is a better way to get perfect 50/50 odds with a strange cat. Get the cat to lie on its back and pet its belly. There is exactly a 50% chance that it will love you for life and exactly a remaining 50 % chance that the strange cat will try to shred your hand and arm.

 But wait, you say, what about genetics? Surely some cats have bred just with tummy scratching loving cats. And maybe the arm killers bred with just the arm killers. To disprove this one you need to get kittens from the same litter. You will find litter mates are as unalike as stranger cats.

 So next time you have a problem that can only be solved by pure 50/50 chance, use a strange cat. Be sure to use someone you hate as the tester. Get the tester to rub the cat nicely on the tummy.

 And I don’t want my cat, Bast, stolen for random testing. So I will just out and out say she’s an arm killer. And often times in the middle of a pet she will taunt me by rolling over on her back, exposing only her belly for petting. I stop petting or my arm will become shredded. Who is master of whom?

About Larry Russwurm

Just another ranter on the Internet
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