What Assange Needs Now is a Magician

Preferably Assange needs a real magician with a specialty in teleportation. But I, like most of you, have heard that all magicians are quacks so this ideal situation may never come to pass. Alright then, unleash the stage magicians.

Stage magicians are said to be masters of misdirection. Master manipulators to the core, they allow us to think that perhaps so and so did vanish, perhaps so and so did get teleported. Well in Assange’s case the appearance of teleportation might be just as good.

I can imagine that magician’s arrival to much fanfare (actually protesters and riot police doing their thing). Perhaps the magician will have a trailer from a large truck which will be parked on the Ecuadorian embassy lawn. On the trailer will be the magician’s set.

Perhaps the magician will ask Assange to step onto the trailer. Perhaps the magician will ask Assange to step into a box that will be closed. Maybe that will be the last anyone sees of Assange on British (or Embassy to British) soil.

Now I have quite an imagination. I see 20 holograms of Julian Assange, each turning on for a few seconds till the police realize they haven’t got their man.

I imagine 20 Assange doppelgangers each bravely showing up at this time. They will each deny they are the real Julian Assange but it will take police manpower and fingerprinting to prove it. I say brave doppelgangers because who knows how long the police will hold these men out of spite.

I imagine 20 cars all taking off from the scene, after Assange’s disappearance but before the police can shut down the roads in the area.

Any magician capable of pulling off this stunt successfully will be instantly worldwide famous. The risks might be many but the payoffs will be many as well. Step aside Criss Angel, the world wants its real mindfreak.

And perhaps all this isn’t completely necessary. Perhaps one well placed doppelganger in Ecuador, with seeming control over Wikileaks would be enough. Do you really think this double will allow himself to be fingerprinted or have his retina scanned? Not likely. Pressure would build on the UK police, not to squander so many huge resources near the Ecuadorian embassy when obviously Assange had escaped. Perhaps then, the fiction would become reality.

About Larry Russwurm

Just another ranter on the Internet
This entry was posted in Humour, Politics, Stage and Screen and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *