I Want to Be a British Billionaire

First of all you might be thinking, ‘how is it even possible for a Canadian to be a British billionaire if you don’t move there?’ Oh I still intend to be a British billionaire even without ever setting foot in the United Kingdom.

Well then, what am I going to do to be a British billionaire? I don’t intend on affecting a pretentious accent when I make my billions.

You might wonder if I will try to style myself after the British billionaire Sir Richard Branson. Well actually I like his intentions of getting commoners to spend their life savings so they can go to space for a few moments. But I want to be a British billionaire not a British billionaire.

Maybe I wish to be of the country of origin for the English speaking world? But who cares about that – American aboriginals, Australian aboriginals, Maori, and almost every type of possible immigrant also made the English speaking world what it is today. No, that isn’t it.

Perhaps I wish to be closer to Queen Elizabeth, Prince Phillip and all their progeny. While that might be enough to keep my country in the British Commonwealth, that’s not enough for me.

I want to be a British billionaire because the British count differently. A billion in the British counting system is the equivalent of the North American trillion. If I were a British billionaire, I would be able to laugh at Americans Bill Gates and Warren Buffett. All your wealth times 15, guys. And if that British billion were in British pounds, all that wealth times 30, guys.

And that is why I wish to be a British billionaire.

About Larry Russwurm

Just another ranter on the Internet
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