Embracing My Inner T-Rex

Over the last week I’ve tried to embrace my inner T-Rex. Try as I might, I just could not imagine that mighty tail properly. If humanity even had a slight tail I might have had some success. So my only hope is to logic out what a massive tail might do. The other physical trait that is very T-Rex was the tiny arms. To properly work this out I held my elbows to my body. I had some success.

I started dancing to see just what a puny armed T-Rex could do. I could hold my arms to the side just like any unimaginative dancer who only feels the beat with their lower body.

Then I tried the swim but could only eke out a dog paddle. I could only hold my nose shut if I kept my head down and forget extending your arm along the vertical – above your head.

I could kind of do that Indian dance where they screw in the light bulb. But realistically I knew I could never screw in a light bulb that was above my head. Just medium level lamps, thank you very much.

I was really thinking about arm movements so I looked at that sport that uses the arms as weapons – boxing. It was then that I realized I couldn’t punch my opponent in the head. Just the chest and the stomach. There would be no knockout punches from me. Maybe I could punch real fast in the chest and stomach and thus win a match on points. But if I couldn’t attack my opponent’s head, I couldn’t guard my own. Let’s just hope my opponent can’t give me a concussion.

Maybe somehow I could communicate with my hands. Flag signaling is out because I don’t have the reach as a T-Rex. But maybe those puny arms have capable hands that can make the signals of sign language. Maybe T-Rex could communicate with its pack that way and somehow down some prey.

Then the aha moments came. I actually should have gotten this from the dance segment of my mental journey. T-Rex is lousy at almost all arm movements except the bunny hop. Maybe that way it would be a fearsome predator. Humour me for a moment.

With its hands in the bunny hop position, T-Rex could settle its legs and powerful tail really low. Then it could spring from that position into a mighty hop. Now you know dinosaurs are called Thunder Lizards because of the imagination of their loud steps. What would we call the noise made from these powerful jumps of T-Rex? I suggest that T-Rex now be called king of the sonic booms.

Imagine a pack of T-Rexes making sonic booms with every leap they make in pursuit of some poor beast. There would be two ways to make the kill. The T-Rexes could jump close enough to the prey to bite it mortally. It’s puny arms couldn’t help in this because they are too puny. The other way would be to land on the prey, thus crushing it. This is a more easily imagined telling of T-Rex’s mastery over the other dinosaurs than exists in most science books. And with that thought I have finished embracing my inner T-Rex.

About Larry Russwurm

Just another ranter on the Internet

This entry was posted in Humour, Science and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *