The Knights of the Square Tables

I see what you were doing there, King Arthur. Putting your knights at a round table so there is no special or more important position. What a political lesson that was, making all your knights feel equal.

But I have news for you, King Arthur. There is another way to make the knights feel equal. Just gather yourself and three other knights and put them at a square table. Tadah! There is no special seat and you and all your knights are apparently equal.

So to deal with a larger amount of knights it is best to have many square tables. And you must number your knights in multiples of four.

You see, a knight fresh from the battle and spying an empty seat at the square table is likely to put his dirty metal boots on the edge of a spare chair and this will break the elegance of the square tables. This knight is special and gets one chair for his butt and another for his feet. It will be hard to restore order after such an obvious faux pas. The only solution is to make sure your knights number in multiples of four.

So if only one of your knights has succumbed in a battle, it might be necessary to exclude three other knights from the square tables. Or, if the battles are ongoing, it might be a better idea to promote someone to the vacant knight spot. It all might be very awkward this promoting and demoting but at least you are doing it in the name of equality.

Then there is the awkwardness of who is speaking. Let’s say you put the king’s table in the centre of the square tables. Since he probably talks more this is a worthwhile idea. Everyone can best hear him when he is at the centre.

In fact let’s put the three other most important talkers at this middle table. This ensures that the knights can all hear the most important speakers.

But you cannot see all the knights in a square table array from the centre. So perhaps those favoured by the king should be placed so the king can see them most easily. The other three stations at the important table could do the same. But there has to be some sort of ranking.

The king of course gets his choice of knights. The second most important knight at the important centre table gets his choice also unless it conflicts with the king’s choice. We proceed similarly to the third and fourth most important knight at the centre table, the fourth knight getting the worst picks.

And that’s how you have equality, in multiples of four, with knights at an array of square tables.

About Larry Russwurm

Just another ranter on the Internet. Now in the Fediverse as
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