Malka

I just recently figured what “Imma” means. It means “I am going to”. Just look at it. It’s not a proper contraction because there are no apostrophes (and wouldn’t it have to use 3 apostrophes?) and its not a proper acronym because there is no “g” or “t” and it has a useless “m”. This doesn’t use any of the shortening rules of English.

For now it’s stuck in the slang ghetto so for the time being, proper English pushers can ignore it. It’s just that English is a fluid language that keeps evolving. I bet “Imma” becomes proper English eventually. And I’m ready for that time.

I’ll insist on making my own word “malka” a proper English word, too. Currently it isn’t an English word or acronym, which is why I picked it. It stands for “my abusive licence agreement” with a silent “k”. It attacks abusive EULAs or “end user licence agreements”. Or those computer contracts that no one reads and only clicks “I agree” at the end of the too long contract.

More properly, I define it as meaning: “anyone who uses the word malka, if they represent a company that has any abusive EULA, henceforth negates all of their company’s abusive EULAs by uttering or writing or printing or typing the word malka. This lasts in perpetuity and stretches back to the 1800s when the first mechanical computers were made.”

So all that remains is acceptance of the term “malka” and the tricking of representatives of said companies into uttering this word. I dunno. I’m a science fiction writer, maybe I could suggest doing some weird science fiction thing that could be called doing a malka. Or better yet make a song with nonsensical lyrics that people are bound to repeat and throw a “malka” in there.

I know what you’re thinking. This shouldn’t work. But then abusive EULAs shouldn’t work either but some courts seem to accept them. Imma try this.

About Larry Russwurm

Just another ranter on the Internet
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