Commercial for Bell’s Fibe TV Sounds a Lot Like Homeopathy

If you still watch some ads on network TV like I do, in Canada, then chances are you’ve come across a certain ad for Fibe TV.

In the ad a presumed gay couple are at a real estate open house and just sit watching television and go over all the advantages of the installed Fibe TV. Then the real estate agent comes over and asks them if they want to see any other rooms in the house.

“No, we’re sold,” say the gay guys. Presumably they will buy the house after seeing Fibe TV inside it.

But, for those of you who don’t know, Fibe TV doesn’t come as a package deal in the sale of a house. First you buy the house and then maybe you will install (or reinstall) Fibe TV.

So the gay couple bought the house because it once had Fibe TV inside.

That’s like buying a house because it once had a certain scent of air freshener you love.

Or buying a house because it once had a piano inside and you love music.

Think of all the marketing schemes you could come up with people being so desperate for a tenuous connection.

Real estate agents might begin to hire top chefs for a day to make gourmet meals inside houses for sale.

Or rent really expensive jewelry, you know, the kind with its own names, and telling potential buyers that it was once in the house for sale.

This comes dangerously close to homeopathy. You know, that quack medicine where you fill a bottle with a possibly lethal active ingredient. Say you use an arsenic solution. But you don’t want to actually kill your customer so you dump out the liquid and dilute the remaining arsenic solution with water. But that’s still potentially dangerous so you dump it out and dilute again. And again and again. The drink is now completely safe but you have lost all traces of your active ingredient. So now you say it will work anyway although it can be shown that the solution contains less than 5 molecules of arsenic.

So Bell’s strategy is the same as for homeopathy. There might appear to be a tenuous connection but in reality it is so slight as to be nothing.

Homeopathy is believed in by gullible people. Perhaps Bell wishes to corner this market and thus have future sales of other nefarious products. Or future upgrades that all the cable and phone companies like to up sell their customers with.

But most importantly, I hope that someone in charge of advertising for Bell’s Fibe TV gets to read this article and realize just how ridiculous their advertising is. Then they might take this commercial off their networks. Which would be a great thing because I’m so terribly sick of this ad.