Can a Superhero Be Inbred?

Soon after the reveal of his mysterious partner, Mother Earth, Tail was challenged on much of social media by a terrifying new supervillain.

“That’s right, Tail, I am Varmint and I am hunting you,” started the various messages. “Now I am American by choice but I think I had better get you before you’re called in to get me. So I am traveling up there to meet you. I plan to be in the area of Punkeydoodle Corners. It will be outside of the hamlet so you can’t set a trap for me. I will send you precise coordinates next Tuesday at noon.

“Why have I picked such a lonely, out of the way location for our meeting? Well I am trying to trap you in my web, of course. And I think that you may be comfortable in a place that’s so remote and inbred. After all, I bet your mighty, super strong tail has come about by the power of heavy inbreeding. I intend to defeat you by using your inbred features against you.

“If you don’t show up I will hunt down your sorry tail while I am up here in your neck of the woods. Be afraid, Tail, be very afraid. Do not bring your mysterious crime fighting partner, Mother Earth. I am coming alone so I expect you to be alone as well. Varmint out.”

When Tail finally saw this invitation he was first dismayed that he couldn’t bring Mother Earth. Then he did some searches to find out what this Varmint was really all about. The information was all sketchy – no one source knew everything at all but tail gleaned that Varmint was styling himself after a wolf.

Varmint was supposed to have the great smelling and hearing of a wolf (which is also attributable to dogs). He had rigged up an exoskeleton that made him have the endurance to go 150 kilometers in a day.

But Varmint realized the one very major setback of a wolf. They never shoot guns. Thus Varmint outfitted himself with a rifle and a handgun. As well he wore bullet proof clothing.

Now the bullet proof clothing would likely leave a welt or worse if it were actually shot on that area. So Varmint had a large bulletproof helmet made of more solid material that would deflect most shots. He had a smaller and not see through cup for between his legs.

Tail made a social media reply. “I will be ready for you, Varmint. I’ll be on the corner of Punkeydoodle Corners on Tuesday at noon, awaiting the coordinates where we are to meet.

“And must I remind you that esteemed lords, ladies, kings and queens are also inbred. Tail out.”

About Larry Russwurm

Just another ranter on the Internet
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