Are Superheroes Snobs?

The current Tail mobile stopped just outside of its destination of Punkeydoodle Corners. The flashing blinkers came on while the vehicle reversed on the shoulder of the road. After half a minute of reversing it came to a stop.

Inside the car, Tail asked, “Can you hear me now?” to his car’s dash that contained his smart phone.

“Yes,” said the female image for Mother Earth but Tail had never met her in person so he was not sure that was the actual Mother Earth’s image.

“Good, it’s still a half hour before I have to meet Varmint. Do you still think that I am going off half cocked with only my tail, rifle and handgun to meet him?”

“You know the risks and what you’re capable of. But if I might lose you, could I at least watch your demise?”

“You’re sick, Mother Earth.”

“I think Varmint might go after me once you’re gone. It’s self preservation, I assure you.”

“How are you going to watch with smartphones not working?”

“I’ve been all in the Pentagon’s computer systems for the last few hours. And I think I can link to visuals from one of their spy satellites.”

“Surely that can’t see Varmint and myself.”

“They would never let it get public but the largest space telescope is pointed down and it has adaptive optics. That’s where they use lasers to measure all the perturbations in the atmosphere and adapt the optics of the spy satellite’s scope to change for optimal seeing. I’m in, right now. Wave out the car window so I can confirm it’s you.”

Tail did just that.

“Perfect. Of course I would like to “hear” what you’re saying and the scope is almost straight up from Punkeydoodle Corners. Could you lift your face while you talk so I can use a program to read your lips?”

“But then I either give away that I’m being tracked or I look like I’m being a snob to Varmint.”

“You’re worried about looking like a snob? He’s trying to kill you.”

It was about time so Tail drove into the hamlet and pulled up to the corner he was to get the coordinates from. He glanced at his watch as it was almost noon. Then he got out of the car and wondered how he would get coordinates when his smartphone wouldn’t work out here. He stood at the corner. There were only 5 houses visible so he eyed them one by one.

Suddenly his eye caught motion. One of the house’s blinds came down and on it were coordinates.

Instead of writing them down, Tail ran toward the house and got to it’s back exit. Varmint was leaving it and froze when he saw Tail.

“I’m not as slow as you must have thought,” said Tail, as much to the sky as to Varmint.

“It figures,” said Varmint. “You would have your nose in the air just to be snobbish around me.”

“You’ve got me all wrong, Varmint. Put your nose in the air, too. I’m not offended and it’s not a special club.”

Varmint stuck his nose in the air tentatively. “That’s not so bad. I see you have a rifle and handgun, too.”

“Yes, I wanted to meet you on–” Tail’s tail had gone between his legs and Varmint’s as well and had started up Varmint’s back when there was a ‘Clang!’ This was followed by a whimper from Tail.

“I thought you might try a rear attack with that tail of yours. How do you like a leg hold trap?”

It was hurting Tail so much that he diverted his attention and hands to take it off. Varmint scooped up Tail’s rifle and handgun.

Tail was relieved physically while now being taxed mentally with the danger of losing his life. Still he couldn’t resist saying, “So you use the guns and traps that kill other varmints!”


About Larry Russwurm

Just another ranter on the Internet. Now in the Fediverse as
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