The Big Smoke

“Sit down, Near Absolute Hero, I have something to say to you and this might take a while,” said the lead fire commissioner of the Big Smoke.

As Near Absolute Hero sat, the commissioner went on. “Many countries have their Big Smoke. In Canada it is Toronto. In Ireland it is Dublin. In England it is London. This leads to ribbing by the rest of the country that the Big Smoke’s fire crews are so bad that the city is called the Big Smoke.

“Now for the last month or so, our fire crews have taken no ribbing at all. The rest of the country has been jealous as you, Near Absolute Hero, have brought skills to our efforts that no one on Earth has. We would like to formalize our relationship.”

The fire commissioner reached into a desk drawer and brought out a page that was filled with writing. “This is a contract for you. We will offer you twice as much money as I make to be part of our firefighting family.”

Near Absolute Hero balked at the idea for a moment. “I would only be able to help you as much as I am helping now.”

“That’s more than fine with us.”

Near Absolute Hero scanned a few of the lines then lifted his head again. “If there were a bigger fire in a neighbouring city I would have to attend that event instead of a little fire in the Big Smoke.”

“Give me back that contract.”

Near Absolute Hero complied and the fire commissioner ripped it up and sighed. He reached into his desk again and brought out a new contract. “This contract allows that and only pays you the salary that I make.”

“I’d be pleased with such an agreement,” said Near Absolute Hero. “I’ll look it over but if it is what you say I will be glad to join your team. There’s just one thing. I will sign it Near Absolute Hero. There is no way I’m going to let you find out my secret identity.”

The fire commissioner sighed again. “It would have been nice to know but I was expecting your position. Let’s shake on it.”

The pair did. The fire commissioner said, “Toronto can now say they are called the Big Smoke because of all the legal pot.”

“I thought the slogan: You can do cannabis in Canada, was enticing enough.”

“The cannabis industry seems to use everything it can.”

About Larry Russwurm

Just another ranter on the Internet
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