Capturing the Flame Tosser

“There aren’t enough cameras in this area in case the Flame Tosser gives you the slip,” said the image of Mother Earth on Near Absolute Hero‘s smart phone.

“Well get the spy satellite that you used to follow Varmint with.”

“Sure,” said Mother Earth and she disappeared for a moment.

When that moment was over she came back looking crestfallen and angry. “The damn Pentagon! They switched around everything. They must have known I was in the system a couple months ago using the spy telescope with Tail. It might take me hours to find the way the satellite is routed.”

“Near Absolute Hero, you’re on your own. Summon me if need be.” With that, Mother Earth was gone.

Near Absolute Hero walked up past the tree to the Flame Tosser’s townhome door and rang the bell. He put his thumb on the peephole so the serial arsonist would have to reveal himself to see who it was.

Eventually Near Absolute Hero heard footsteps and then a muttered curse before the door opened.

Hero and villain revealed themselves to each other. Near Absolute Hero said in a firm voice, “I need to ask you about some fires.”

Flame Tosser whirled and had his sparker ready.

Near Absolute Hero for a split second thought the villain was going to flee but remembered just in time to shoot his cold gun just as fire came out the villain’s butt. The fire went out as the temperature dropped drastically. The smell was atrocious.

Flame Tosser jumped away. “Whoo, that’s cold!” He continued running away through the townhome he was in.

Near Absolute Hero could hear the telltale sound of flames and jumped back a few feet. The tree which had been a few feet behind him had caught fire. Near Absolute Hero’s cold gun produced more heat out its back than cold out its front in obeying the laws of thermodynamics. He stepped back more feet and turned his cold gun on the fire. There was only open air behind him so it wouldn’t matter if he heated that up. The fire was out in seconds.

Flame Tosser had a good head start but Near Absolute Hero still had his wings. He flew over the townhome. On the other side was a well used trail going left and right. He went left because that seemed to be the most used end.

He flew as fast as he could and spotted Flame Tosser on the top stair going down into a subway station. Nervously Flame Tosser looked back to see his nemesis and sparked a sparker.

Near Absolute Hero used his cold gun to stop this flame, too. Flame Tosser went, “Whoo,” but it might as well have been a “Woohoo!” because Near Absolute Hero couldn’t use his power of cold down where the villain led and he’d probably need it in order to catch Flame Tosser. He was just left with the foul smell. He summoned Mother Earth and told her what he had found.

Mother Earth said, “All those subway entrances and exits have cameras. We’ll be able to track him.”

“But he’s too dangerous to alert the cops.”

“They have to deal with many things. I think a lone arsonist can be gotten.”

“Still it’s so frustrating,” muttered Near Absolute Hero.

“Do you know why he ran?”

“Because he’s guilty as hell!”

“Because as long as you were near, he was an absolute hero!” Mother Earth instantly guffawed and rolled around on the ground.

All Near Absolute Hero could get out was, “Jokes?!”

“Half of it is seeing your face,” said Mother Earth and she guffawed some more.

About Larry Russwurm

Just another ranter on the Internet
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