Modern Ninja and the Commish

Modern Ninja walked into the police station in her LED body suit. Some stared as it was uncommon to see someone with such an odd fashion choice. Modern Ninja made a beeline to the cop that was behind a desk that looked like the best bet to be the reception area. That cop seemed to ignore Modern Ninja even though Modern Ninja was staring at him with simmering intensity.

“Mmm hmm,” Modern Ninja cleared her throat.

The cop turned his head and looked right through Modern Ninja and then past her before turning his head back to its original position.

“Sure! Pretend you don’t see me. Like I’m –” Modern Ninja changed her tune as realization hit, “Invisibility off!” she ordered to her suit.

“I was wondering what I was hearing,” said the now smiling cop. “You must be Modern Ninja. Commissioner Corwin told me to let you up whenever you show up. At least one rumour was true.”

“You mean you really didn’t see her there, McCain?” asked another officer loudly.

“Nope. That’s her superpower.” He turned back to Modern Ninja. “Go to the fifth floor and turn right from the elevator and go the end of that hallway and that’s where Commissioner Corwin is.”

“Alright,” said Modern Ninja. The elevator ride and walk took only a minute. The commissioner’s door was open so Modern Ninja just stepped inside and saw the greying man behind the desk for the first time in real life.

“Commissioner Corwin?” Modern Ninja asked.

“Modern Ninja,” He closed his paperwork in a file and stood up offering her a seat. “I have a few questions to ask of you.”

“What questions?”

“Specifically about the museum heist. My lead detective and I can’t seem to agree. How did you know that the two men you apprehended were the only ones there?”

“I didn’t act alone. I had Mother Earth with me.”

“What? That foolish joke that Tail tried to pass off on us a few months ago? How could that be related?”

“I realize that Mother Earth didn’t ever tell the public what her powers were. She can crack any computer system in less than a minute. That night she broke into the museum’s surveillance system and told me via my phone that there were two men headed for the exit, three seconds apart.”

“Oh, that does make sense. Then we will not worry about arresting you for now.”

“For now? I thought you were going to congratulate me for helping the police. Your men would have never have gotten them because, you see, they never even saw me that night. I thought you were going to offer me the keys to the city, a paid position with the police or at least let me call you Commish!”

“Firstly, the mayor is in charge of keys to the city. Why would I pay you when I could buy more beat cops with the money?”

“I’m more valuable than a beat cop. Or did those men not tell you about my invisibility? Invisibility On!”

Now all that Commissioner Corwin could see of her was her eyes. “We’ve already figured out how you pull off your little trick. We saw that invisible car news.”

“Did you now, Commish?”

Comissioner Corwin’s face flushed with anger but he tried to play it cool. “We need to keep a lid on this superhero thing. Tail, then you and now you tell me about Mother Earth. You’re all vigilantes.”

“And part of our group is Near Absolute Hero. He’s a fire vigilante. He’s making quite the money with the fire department of the Big Smoke. Why not us, Commish?

“Vigilante is a bad thing. Absolute Hero is a prized volunteer. So much so he was put on the payroll.”

“I volunteered at the Museum, Commish.”

“If you don’t let it be I will arrest you and put the question to a jury.”

“Wow, I didn’t think it would digress this badly. Tail was right. All of us, Tail, Mother Earth and I as well as Near Absolute Hero are part of the Mother Earth Force. Do you want to know what Tail suggested I do if the meeting got tense?”

“No.”

“He said I should threaten to ask every criminal I can find what it would be like if someone yelled ‘Suuu Weee. Weee, Weee, Weee. Here piggy piggy. ‘ at the top of their lungs at any cop shop including this one. I can head down to the prison today so we could find out what the reaction is.”

“You wouldn’t dare!”

“Try me, Commish.”

“Get out now! And if my men catch you at a crime scene…”

“They’ll what? Threaten someone who helped them?” It was then that her eyes disappeared, too, and the impression she had made on the chair disappeared.

Commissioner Corwin huffed and puffed but did not call any other cops to the scene.

About Larry Russwurm

Just another ranter on the Internet
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