Yellow Teeth

It’s really hard to avoid getting yellowish teeth. Many things can turn your teeth yellow. There are the obvious culprits like drinking coffee and tea. Even herbal teas can turn your teeth yellow. Smoking cigarettes or marijuana can play this nasty game too. White and red wines can do this as well. Wear on your teeth can cause that yellow. And quite simply aging, itself, can cause your teeth to yellow.

So what are we supposed to do about this? Many rely on whitening toothpastes or bleaching routines to turn back the clock and make their teeth whiter again. So much so that it is a billion dollar industry. All because we want to turn the clock back.

I say let’s turn the clock forward.

Let’s start prizing yellow teeth. I’m not being some kind of nut here. I don’t advocate turning our teeth into some unhealthy brown or black here. If yellow is the colour of aging or normal usage, I say let’s embrace it. Yellow can be a sort of badge of honour that we flash with our smiles. Now doesn’t that sound healthy?

But wait. Isn’t our culture the one that idolizes youth? And aren’t youths the ones in society that have the whitest teeth?

We can work on that. Most youth can’t wait to become adults. They want all the rights and privileges that come with age. So basically they want to be the age of 25 and no more. That’s the age past which you have nothing left to gain.

So if we can start my little conspiracy here….

Remember, if turning the little liars down while checking age at a drinking establishment, to say “You can’t possibly be drinking age because your teeth are too white.”

If selling lottery tickets or scratch and wins, if anyone comes in with really white teeth, comment on that and then ask for ID. You might think your insulting the older players but they will be flattered that you think they are younger looking.

If renting a car out, ask to see their smile first. If their smile is too bright white ask for ID every time.

If we follow through with this all the time, young people will want their teeth to be more yellow. We can follow this up by making sure young stars have yellow teeth. Then these young stars can sell tooth yellowing agents at a healthy profit.

When all the youngsters have yellowed their teeth deliberately, culture will catch up and admire yellow teeth on their own.

Now, instead of us adults paying for bleaching, young people will pay for yellowing. Let’s make this a world wide phenomenon. Yellow teeth might be an aspect of aging that can be admired.

About Larry Russwurm

Just another ranter on the Internet
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