My Socks

Fruit of the Loom likes to emblazon their name everywhere when they make a product. That’s why I was unsurprised that the socks I bought from that company had Fruit of the Loom emblazoned across the toes. In case you’re wondering, the name is oriented so I can read it easily while wearing them. If you are across from me you will have to use your upside down reading skills.

But the name stretches completely across the socks. That is the F has to be at the edge of the socks for the M of Loom to be visible against the other edge of the sock. It is a tricky, painstaking thing to have to put the socks on so perfectly, that the whole name is visible.

So in other words I don’t bother lining up the sock perfectly. Thus, all that is visible is a partial name. Sometimes it says Fruit of the Lo. This is where I imagine dwarves picking fruit like tomatoes or berries from low positions.

There is the much grosser Fruit of the Loo. Here I think of Loo as the British bathroom. As for something being fruit in there, I first of all rule out liquids because fruit is never a liquid. To me the fruit is the result of your labour in there. Perhaps it looks more like logs than normal fruit, but it is what it is.

The name can be cut off the other way, too. Ruit of the Loom comes up quite often when I am wearing my socks. I often wonder what this means. I assume the phrase is really Root of the Loom. So I think of more basic things that are loom-like. The one I most come up with is basket weaving. There you have the repeated under over pattern that baskets as well as clothes are made of.

Another interesting name that comes up is It of the Loom. I see the loom working at breakneck speed and out of this machine comes bright clothes. And then, somehow, evilly it manages to make a clown’s face as part of the weave. Then magically it comes together as a full, 3D clown. A menacing clown. Sorry, Stephen King, but despite all this horror I am still more horrified by Fruit of the Loo.

About Larry Russwurm

Just another ranter on the Internet
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