I Got Up Early and All You Give Me Is Worms?

The problem with the saying “the early bird gets the worm” is that it makes you think that the reward for getting up early is a worm. This is not the type of incentive I need.

I even think of chomping down on a dew worm, and to be quite honest this disincentivizes me more than anything.

And to be quite honest, imagining a dew worm is one of the better things that I can do. The other worms just put me off even more. Meal worms remind me of eating so doubly it grosses me out imagining eating these.

Then there are tomato worms which make my skin crawl even thinking of them. Ring worms and tapeworms are gross parasites. That in fact is my last mention of real worms because I am getting grossed out just typing this.

Granted they came up with gummy worms whom I can imagine without throwing up. But still, I’m not a huge fan of these sugar loaded snacks. It might tempt others to get up early but not me.

Then there are the sugar snacks that remind one of worms. Like shoestring licorice or twizzlers. But what happened to the tastes of everyone? The red twizzlers and shoestring licorice became more popular than black or licorice flavours. I never liked the red. And now the black is harder to find than ever.

So I am still disincentivized to be the early bird. Perhaps some of you can get on board with these worm substitutes.

The thing about worms is they come out at night. So either you can be the early bird or you can be the night owl if you really want these. I believe the night owls get more worms than the early bird. So even if the worm you’re searching for is the hard to find black licorice ones, the night owl has the best chance of getting these. Hurrah for the night owl.

It’s about time that someone celebrated the night owl over the early bird, isn’t it?

About Larry Russwurm

Just another ranter on the Internet
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