Reffing a Movie

A tall man in a suit was trying to get into a the movie theatre ahead of me. He had a coupon and was insisting it had no expiry date on it. Nevertheless, the ticket counter staff wouldn’t accept it. After two minutes of debating he finally gave up and said, “I’m a professional referee. I know what’s fair. Fine I’ll pay. But this won’t be the last of it.”

I hoped this was the last of it for me and paid next in line.

I got some food then went into my showing. Yes the referee was in the same showing. I just didn’t think much of it.

The theatre darkened and we were into the previews. The whole room tried to watch with an open mind. After a few of these began the movie proper.

The main character had a goal that developed near the start. Of course she went straight forward towards the goal. Of course if she got her wish right away there would be no more movie. But there were setbacks.

The first one revealed itself to the audience when suddenly there was a whistle sound. “2 minutes for interference of the main character!” yelled the ref from the back of the darkened room. A few people chuckled. No one was quite sure what to do so nothing was done about the ref.

After a couple more setbacks, the main character started to push harder and harder at the people in her way. The ref had had enough. “TWEET! Two minutes to the main character for elbowing her way through the setbacks!”

More people chuckled this time. A few had looked back and eyed the ref. But he looked to be bigger and more muscular than anyone in the darkened theatre.

Then a fight erupted between the main character and her enemy. The main character barely won because her enemy fought dirty. “TWEET! TWEET! Two minutes to the main character for roughing! 5 minutes to her enemy for fighting!

A man became an ally for the main character after that. In fact the main character and him began to plan things out better so the goal didn’t seem as far away as it had before.

There was a confusing action scene that held the theatre patrons to their seats. Much happened in those few minutes including the main character striving mightily against her cheating enemy. With some of the advice of the ally the main character barely prevails. In the lull came, “TWEET! Too many actors in a scene. We’ll never catch all of that without buying and pausing the film!” There was some chuckling but one loud “Shhhh!”

The ally was finally making his move on the main character. It was an awkward move so the main character almost bailed. Then she was reminded of his value and came right into his personal space and kissed him. “TWEET! Two minutes for holding!” That two minutes the audience watched as other parts were brought to a conclusion

Eventually everyone shuffled out of the theatre. Still no one complained so the referee still hadn’t got his revenge. He looked dejected.

One of the last patrons who was leaving, stuck two fingers in his mouth to whistle. “TWEEEEEE! Too appropriate to get you kicked out!”

About Larry Russwurm

Just another ranter on the Internet
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