Those Lyin’ Lions

The plains of Africa are filled with creatures whose names might or might not be true. Allow me to point out a few.

Lions are pronounced lyin’ because they are lazy and lay about quite a bit. Life is tough when you are kings of the plain and don’t always have to be chasing down your food.

Then there are zebras whose names could also be Z bras. Presumably a Z bra is the largest size of bra possible. For this to be true, I believe the whole zebra must be a pair of breasts. And that’s not very good to run from predators as. This name is exaggeration at best and a blatant lie at worst.

There are also antelopes on the plains. A small change in pronunciation turns this name into anti lopes. Now a lope is a middling gallop. Most of the time, anti lopes stay at a very slow walk while they are eating grasses. But with the constant fear of predation, these animals will be off like a shot at the slightest suspicion. They are running for their lives, so this is at the fastest gallop obtainable by these creatures. This is not a lope. Anti lopes are named correctly.

Gnus also live on the African plains. Or as I prefer to spell them, news. Like the other African creatures, news have been living in Africa for millions of years. There is nothing new about them whatsoever. So this name is a lie. You could even say it’s old news. Now there are some news in Africa that are old. So maybe this name has a tiny hint of the truth.

Where did these names come from, that are sometimes blatant lies? Maybe someone was whispering in the ear of the early explorers who got to name these creatures.

Let’s go back to those lions. Now lyin’ could also be the act of not telling the truth. Perhaps these creatures are doubly named correctly and are the source of some of the lies about other creatures. If only there were some way to implicate the lyin’. Maybe we could bring up a motive to circumstantially show to a jury.

How about the Cheetah? They also live on the plains and are the fastest land predator in the wild, Perhaps their name is Cheater with a lion accent. But cheetahs blatantly don’t cheat when they hunt down creatures to eat. But maybe a lyin’ would feel guilty about cheating a cheetah and thus put the word they feel onto the innocent Cheetah.

I’ve seen the video of the African plain. A cheetah manages to outrace some prey and kills it. All within the sight of a lioness. The cheetah sees the lioness so it begins eating right away as fast as it can. The lioness walks purposely straight at the cheetah. The cheetah eats.

The lioness gets within a few paces of the meal and the cheetah gets up and runs. The cheetah knows that the lioness is tougher and could kill it. The lioness now has her meal and can share it with her pride.

The lyin’ lions are the true cheaters on the African plains.

About Larry Russwurm

Just another ranter on the Internet
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