Grab Bag o’ Humour, January 2023

I remember going to York University in Toronto for the first time and being in residence. The talk came around to skipping class. I said something like “Yeah, I’ve already bagged off a class.”

Everyone around just looked at me. Like they didn’t understand what I just said. Like what I just said sounded sexual and had nothing to do with what they were talking about.

None of these people understood my Waterloo Region slang in which bagging off is simply the act of skipping class. My fellow students in residence didn’t understand and they were a fair sampling of the rest of Ontario. York prioritized residence for those who were from further away, so most were from outside of Toronto but still from Ontario. Not one had heard my slang before.

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Every place that has managers, if they have a slightly lesser position, have assistant managers. Meanwhile every business that has a president, if they have a slightly lesser position, have vice presidents.

Assistant president sounds like it’s very under the thumb of the president. So if they do something wrong, it still sounds like it’s the president’s fault. The astute president needs to be able to totally blame the vice president for bad things. That’s why they choose the title of vice.

Meanwhile vice manager sounds like for the whole day, the person is managing vice. Sounds like a good job for Satan or even lesser demons. When I hear vice manager I think of someone in charge of gambling, prostitution or the drug trade in the business they are at.

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Ontario is being bombarded by online gambling ads since the province let in out-of-province, private enterprise casinos. Take this ad for MGM Casino. It features Vanessa Hudgens and Jamie Foxx. First Foxx gets an ace. Then most of the ad is both actors saying “Give me a king, Steve”.

Why a king? It sounds as if the ad copy people wanted to say some specific card. But in blackjack, it doesn’t matter if you get a king, a queen, a jack or a ten. They are all worth ten points.

Foxx could have said “Give me a ten, Steve,” and it would have made more sense. Even saying “Give me a face card,” would make more sense even though that doesn’t include the number ten cards.

The only reason I can see it making sense to say “Give me a king, Steve,” is if Jamie Foxx had been counting cards. He might know that a king appearing was more likely.

Now I bet (pun intended) MGM Casino doesn’t want us counting cards. With this ad, they are encouraging us to be blatant about it. Thus when someone says “Give me a queen, Ralph,” they know to kick that person out for counting cards.

About Larry Russwurm

Just another ranter on the Internet
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