Listen to this intro from TMZ: Kim Kardashian hosts holiday party with snow, coke and gingerbread house.
Obviously snow and coke are slang for cocaine. But how is gingerbread house also slang for cocaine?
Well gingers are some of the whitest white people around. At least with the whitest skin (minus the freckles, of course). And their favourite bread has got to be white bread. And their favourite house is the White House (ask Donald Trump). All this whiteness seems to suggest something the colour white. Like cocaine. So gingerbread house could easily be slang for cocaine, too. You can’t fool me. I can read in between the lines.
Who was this Xmas party for? Why friends and family. Wait, their kids, too? I don’t mean to suggest that the Kardashians are bad parents. I bet no one snorted any coke while the kids were still awake.
And there is all that snow they brought in. Could it possibly be that they are that rich? That they sledded on cocaine? They want to wallow in their own wealth it seems. Or at least make snow angels in cocaine.
One thing that I don’t understand is the specially labeled bottles of Coca Cola. What does that have to do with cocaine? I know it would be cute for the guests to have these Kardashian-Jenner labeled bottles. But even if they took one home it would just end up in the recycling.
And did you see the shot of the trees and grass just covered in the snow? This is Southern California so I believe that was all cocaine. An impressive display of wealth. The whole clan (of adults!) can snort that for the entirety of 2024.
If I had that much cocaine I would be paranoid there would be strong winds blowing it away or rain that would wash it away. Forget that last one, it’s southern California. They should be worried about wildfires just burning it.
Writing about this cocaine, cocaine, cocaine Christmas party, is thirsty work. I think I’ll have a cola, now.