Rest In Peace Stephen Huss

Posted on 6 August 2015 by Larry Russwurm

My best friend, Stephen Huss, died last weekend. He was my age, only 47. The electronic music aware of you might recognize his name from the rock band Psyche. Now that he is gone I find it a bit comforting that he had success early in life. Psyche was signed to a label when he was still in high school.

I knew him for the last 15 years, but especially in the last 10 we became best friends. We occasionally would disagree with each other, but in the entire time I’ve known him, I don’t think he has insulted me once.

Of course we got along. We both play guitar and keyboards (He was a keyboardist with Psyche). We both like the idea of writing. I have my blog and science fiction. He would write horror and he also thought about writing a biography of Dwayne Goettel who was a fellow member of Psyche and later joined Skinny Puppy but died in 1995. And we both liked cats. He had this shelf thing in his apartment that held twenty unique figurines of various cats, collected from hither and yon. I just did a search on this blog for cats and found I have written about them 14 times.

For a time we said we were a band called The Mysterious They. Right from the start we said there would be no live shows. We both liked song writing. My song writing abilities had dwindled from years before when I could write the base of a song in a couple weeks. Stephen was way faster than I was in my prime. We’d meet every week and I’d find he had the basis of two new songs, just waiting to be fleshed out between meetings. And I think he was still writing solo stuff on his keyboard at the same time. The Mysterious They fell by the wayside, though, when Stephen decided not to do it anymore. He was worried about fame. He already had tasted that in Psyche and knew that was what he didn’t want. I don’t know that we would ever have gotten fame though – the only successful act I know that never did live shows was The Alan Parsons Project.

We’ve critiqued each others writing. I felt uncomfortable reading some of his horror. I’m not a big horror reader so perhaps that uneasiness was success on Stephen’s part. But besides this reaction I’m largely oblivious (in horror!) and can’t point out problems or successes. So we stopped critiquing but would tell each other about our progress in writing. Stephen had a computer but preferred to write by hand in notebooks. I thought it would be a pain to retype the story. But Stephen said no, he would just hire someone to type it up for him. Just a couple weeks ago he said he had a short story idea already written in his head. Now no one will ever see that story.

But I already miss him most in the day to day things. This weekend is the Blues Festival in Kitchener. When we went in past years, Stephen would always know what most of the bands were famous for. I only started seriously listening to music when I was 12 or 13. Stephen seemed to know about bands from as far back as his memory goes. And he’d even know older acts from hearing them on classic rock stations. I’m going to miss that almost encyclopedic knowledge when I go this year. There are multiple venues so we used all that knowledge to decide which acts to go listen to.

Goodbye, Stephen, you will be missed.

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My Kitty Wants to Bust Open the Bank to Feed Her Drug Habit

Posted on 1 August 2015 by Larry Russwurm

I have had the hardest time finding a normal toy for my cat, Bast, to play with. I have tried toys on springs, toys on elastics, colourful toys, toys designed to make noise, toys that roll or otherwise move easily and toys that I fancy I would like if I were a cat. But they do not work. The most played with one was the elastic toy that hung from the door jamb. But in the last year of that one, I didn’t see her playing with it once.

The most fun she has ever had with a toy is with a simple string. The problem is that I have to move it around enough to entice her. She won’t play one second longer after I drop it. But the point is I want her to have entertainments when I’m not around. So I want her to play by herself so if I’m ignoring her (I’m thinking about the month of November and NaNoWriMo) she still has a good quality of life.

She does have one toy that she will play with. Make that toys. Ever since that first time I opened an envelope with her on my lap and she pushed on the torn off envelope end and the other side rose, she’s loved envelope ends and they are her toy of choice. But even I sweep up occasionally and all her envelope ends become garbage. I feel for her as a week goes by and she has no envelope ends to play with. You see, sometimes it’s at least a week before I get a letter. It’s so bad that I will deliberately take envelopes I know are full of junk mail and open them at my table. Finally Bast gets a toy.

So yesterday I bought a toy. It’s a white something with gold ears that could be a mouse but looks more like a sheep. But it has a pouch into which I can put catnip and it seals up with velcro enabling me to freshen the catnip at will.

So I filled up the toy and drew Bast’s attention to it. She was more engaged with this toy than any toy I’d ever given her except envelope ends. But she did not fight with it right away. She looked at me and then looked at the toy, then at me again. I realized that I was sort of torturing her.

Every other time she has smelled catnip, I have just given her a pile. She has immediate access to her fix and thus sniffs, chews, rolls in it and claws at it (because I give her some on her scratching pad). These are all the acts of a drug using cat. Though I’m told that (possibly out of necessity) cats can snap right out of the high and react to things normally. But a house cat with nothing else to do, simply enjoys the high.

So my catnip using cat could only smell the catnip and not do anything else with it. But soon she began to fight back from the torture. She shook, chewed and otherwise fought the toy. It looks exactly like she has found a toy that she likes. But it could still be only torturing her.

Despite not getting any catnip from the toy, the toy has moved around my house every time I’ve left both last night and today. Maybe she will behave her way to playing with it. Maybe a bit of torture was necessary. That’s what I tell myself.

And this is the first toy I’ve had that I can “recharge”. Fresh catnip might lead to fresh playing. Time will tell if she accepts this toy.

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The Case for Fat Chords

Posted on 25 July 2015 by Larry Russwurm

A chord is comprised of at least 3 notes. Octaves of these notes don’t count as separate notes. So the maximum number of notes a chord can have is twelve. This is all the spacings in the octave. Since we like to play in a normal scale, chords usually only go up to the seven notes a scale is comprised of.

So called power chords are not chords because they are comprised of only two notes. The third note is an octave of the root note.

The major and minor chords are comprised of the minimum three notes. I define a fat chord as having 4 or more notes played at the same time.

I love fat chords. Some of my favourite bands like Yes and Led Zeppelin used fat chords all the time. In the late 70s backlash to these bands, punk rock and later styles of rock guitars rarely used fat chords. Since I enjoy fat chords I want the backlash to end once and for all. So I will try to embarrass punk rock and other musical styles that try to demand simplicity.

I’ve played guitar for decades and I’ve heard people, even those that like simplicity, say it sounds more like a real song when you sing notes that are not in the chord you are playing. I whole heartedly agree. If simplicity seeking people are playing only major and minor chords while singing more unique notes, then the whole act is hitting those fat chords.

So what of punk rock and heavy metal when they are using exclusively power chords? Well if there is unique note harmony going along with the unique note lead singing then they are also using fat chords.

If there is no harmony and just power chords, the bassist has to be watched carefully. If they hit unique notes then there is also a fat chord situation.

If the bassist is reigned in, it should be noted that drums can kind of be tuned and they can also add to the fat chord situation.

In my opinion, most guitarists eschewing the use of fat chords aren’t usually espousing a philosophical position, but are more likely showing their ignorance because they never learned fat chords.

Most music contains fat chords when you look at the act as a whole. My love of fat chords isn’t as weird as some have made themselves believe.

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Painting the International Space Station

Posted on 18 July 2015 by Larry Russwurm

I think Canada should offer to paint the International Space Station or ISS. But just any colour won’t do. I suggest we paint it the colour most unifying to all humans. The colour red should be used because we all bleed red.

Obviously we’d have to send a space walker out to do it. They could tape over all windows and sensors so those wouldn’t end up with paint on them. Then they could cover the solar panels with a mesh – like they use when painting a bus. So the solar panels would end up red but could also partially be used.

I’m not sure exactly how space paint would work. Do you need an atmosphere to dry the paint? Maybe you could spray paint particles of paint that are embedded in invisible glue. But wait, that requires drying, too. Perhaps we’ll have to research it. Regardless, some Canadian will paint the outside of the space station red.

Of course there would be celebratory pictures when the deed is done. Obviously the painter will take a selfie outside the space station with their smiling face visible through the faceplate and the International Space Station in its new red glory.

I think some of the best pictures could be taken from earth with telescopes. The space station in your favourite constellation, the space station darting across the Jovian system and more prominent than even its large moons, or what has recently been taken – this photo of the space station appearing in front of the white moon.

Just look at the picture and imagine the space station being a bright red. The two red bars on either side (really the red of the solar panels) and the white of the moon surrounding the red splotch of the station proper which is in the middle.

Why, why, … it would look like a Canada Flag as seen from far away!

We must do this. If our timing is correct we can have it finished not next Canada Day, but Canada Day 2017, when Canada turns 150 years old. What a pretty, patriotic picture we could make.

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Flattering Imitation

Posted on 11 July 2015 by Larry Russwurm

Imagine Mr. Grey’s delight when he hears little Tommy is following in his footsteps.

“Remember,” Ms. Grey asks him, “last week when we took little Tommy out to watch you dig that hole where a pool is going to be poured?”

“Of course, I remember. After I read Tommy his bedtime story, he said he wanted to dig holes with a backhoe just like me.”

“Well it wasn’t just words. Today Tommy spent a couple hours excavating a small hole, just like the big one, with his toy backhoe in the sandbox. Do you want to see his work?”

“Why yes,”said Mr. Grey and he followed Ms. Grey out to the back yard and to the sandbox. Mr. Grey saw the hole and realized that Tommy had shaped it just like the real thing. The backhoe stood at the one end, looking like it had just finished up.

Ms. Grey sounded happy. “I think he’s going to become a backhoe operator just like you.”

That is how the story goes with construction worker. But now let’s see how the story works with an actor’s family.

“Mr. Grey!” said Ms. Grey, greeting him with a kiss on the lips. “Guess what your son Tommy did today?” She had a great big smile on her face so Mr. Grey knew it was going to be good.

“Did he finish learning his alphabet today?”

“Better!”

“I can’t see what could possible be better.”

“He said his first lie today. Just like his old man, the actor, does.”

“I’d say that was great news, but I’m not sure I like the idea that he got caught.”

“Well he looked me straight in the eye at first. But the lie was kind of convoluted. At one point he looked down at his hands like an actor looking at the director and saying ‘line’. But he came back quickly and finished the story looking me straight in the eye again.”

Mr. Grey thumped his chest. “Well I am proud. But I hope as he grows he loses all tells so he can become a great actor.”

“I think it’s good either way.”

“But what can he do if has obvious tells? He can’t be a great actor. He’ll never get away with stuff in court so there goes lawyering and being a criminal.”

“He can still be a fiction writer.”

“There’s that.” Even being a great actor, Mr. Grey had let his disappointment seep through into his words. Profound emotions can betray almost anyone.

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Double Dipping?

Posted on 4 July 2015 by Larry Russwurm

For Canada Day (July 1) I attended a music festival with a small fireworks show in downtown Kitchener. The show featured Canadian acts, two of which I suspected were not Canadian acts. Those two bands were Treble Charger and Hollerado.

It was because of these two bands biggest hits that I suspected they were American. Those hits are American Psycho by Treble Charger and Americanarama by Hollerado. Besides the titles, Hollerado rhymes with Colorado and Americanarama mentions Philadelphia a bunch of times as well as mentioning New York.

But a quick check today on Wikipedia, revealed that both bands are Canadian. Treble Charger is from the Canadian side of Sault Ste. Marie and Hollerado is from Ottawa. So I have to ask myself what is with the American names?

Then I thought, what if they’re both double dipping, playing shows in Canada on July 1 and then maybe crossing the border and playing American shows on July 4, or Independence Day? What a sinister plan! To double dip while playing on the patriotic emotions of two countries.

Of course they might be using the word America in the Greater America sense. Indeed that reminds me of one of my pet peeves. The United States of America has usurped the use of America and American and uses it solely to represent itself. This is patently unfair to the rest of the Americas.

Treble Charger and Hollerado might be trying to unite the Americas by their choice of titles and lyrics. And Hollerado’s Americanarama includes Philadelphia and New York in its definition of America (really Greater America). What a bridge building definition.

And that pet peeve of mine? Now I have the word tools I’ve craved. I live in Greater America and am a Greater American.

So we Greater Americans, when at an international destination (or anywhere nationality comes up) can wait for the Yankees to identify themselves as American. Then we will identify ourselves as Greater Americans. The Yankee will try to trump this by saying, “Well actually I’m a greatest American.”

“We can say that, too, but actually it’s a biased term. Saying I’m a Greater American is unbiased and dispassionate. Greater America is both more populous and larger than America. These are facts. You are an American and I am a Greater American.”

If enough Yankees continue to lose this fight, perhaps they will willingly come up with a different name for their national identity.

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Number of Musicians and Time

Posted on 27 June 2015 by Larry Russwurm

In the 1800s, symphony orchestras were all the rage. Cities prided themselves if they had one of these musical groups and a large hall for them to play in. One of these orchestras could easily contain 80 members.

With so many members, you can treat the audience to the unique sound of violins playing chords. Usually violins are played one note at a time. And the most notes it is possible to play at the same time on a violin is two. Chords are defined as three or more notes played simultaneously. But if you have a group of violinists, say 4, 4 note chords are possible.

These orchestras had few quiet instruments, like an acoustic guitar, because they wanted to fill all of their giant halls with impactful music.

Jazz music had humble beginnings, but soon became a worthy successor in popularity to the symphony orchestra. Jazz was most popular in the first half of the twentieth century.

The halls that jazz played to were just as big and to fill it with sound they could get away with just a big band. The big bands of jazz usually ranged from 12 to 25 musicians. The key to getting by with fewer members was having the brass sections. The brass wind instruments are quite loud and the sound emanates through most of a great hall.

Brass chords were possible. You might have three trombone players and one bass trombone player. Here, again, you could present the public with a combined 4 note chord.

After the 1950s, rock music became the most popular genre. It wouldn’t have happened without the electrification and most importantly amplification of musical instruments. Amplification meant that huge sports arenas could now be filled with fans and all could hear the music.

Guitars and keyboards became the most popular chord instruments. At last you could hear them at loud volumes. The rock band was small, usually ranging between 3 and 5 members.

In the brief time we’ve had in this, the 21st century, performance DJs have come into their own. They may not be the most popular performers, yet, but in pockets they are. They make it their business to know how all manner of music machines works. Any or all of them might be used for a show. The crafty DJ might learn how to make pieces or songs with all their machinery. They don’t have to know how to play a traditional instrument to make a song.

There only needs to be one DJ at a show.

You might think this is the end of the progression of having fewer musicians. But you would be wrong. How do we get less than one musician? We simply use a fraction. Firstly, you could have a part time musician working with even fancier machines so the work is lessened further. Or a person with multiple personality disorder, where one of the personalities is a DJ.

The increasing utilization of machinery will continue unabated until we get to the point where the “talent” grunts. Then her machinery will write a song in a nanosecond, 10 complete shows in a microsecond, a lifetime’s worth of music in a millisecond and in a full second will write music for even our longest lived descendent’s life. And that is where I think music is headed.

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Father’s Day – the Longest Day of the Year*

Posted on 20 June 2015 by Larry Russwurm

This year, Father’s Day is actually the longest day of the year. But that’s not exactly what I meant. Perhaps if “Father’s Day” is said with an eye roll, then some people might get the title. And if “- The Longest Day of the Year” is said with a sigh, then everyone might get it.

It’s almost traditional for husbands to take wives out for dinner on Mother’s Day. After all, it’s her day and traditionally in this society she is often expected to cook. This gives a break for many mothers.

But guess what happens in many homes when it is Father’s Day? Mother, like usual is expected to cook, and because it is Father’s Day, she might have to cook an extra good meal for extra people. Now this is hardly fair.

Which is why those mothers or wives, girlfriends, husbands or boyfriends of the father might roll their eyes this year and say “Father’s Day – the longest day of the year – sigh.”

As for those of us with living fathers? We have little excuse to not do something with, or for, father. It is after all the longest day of the year. Unless we’re devious and plan something at night with dear old Dad. It is after all the shortest night of the year.

*This only applies in the northern hemisphere.

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Things I Would Have Loved to Know About Physics Before Making It My Major

Posted on 13 June 2015 by Larry Russwurm

What with the current glamourizing of physics with Cosmos and The Big Bang Theory (although some might say that sitcom deglamourizes physics), more and more people are probably looking into physics as a career choice. Decades ago I started down this same path so I’d like the curious of you to know a few things that your guidance counselor or university rep might never tell you.

1. When discussing freedom with a successful physicist they might liken it to school. Then they’ll have to go back 10 years from their most recent schooling to grade 11. In that wondrous year they had total freedom in selecting one (1) of their courses. So of coursed they panicked and took biology (yet another science).

2. Potential physicists will always cross any picket line to get to their schooling. After all, what else can fill up 16 hours in each and every day during the school year?

3. Physicists wish the slow people in high school made it to university, too. That way they would get everything explained to them at least twice. The main reason so many potential physicists fail in early university is because they never learned to ask questions themselves. This is of course because they never had to because everything in high school was always explained at least twice.

I’m sure many more hurdles remain in the physics career path that I failed to cover. For more information, speak with your friendly neighbourhood physicist. Or if that fails you, speak to your friendly neighbourhood Sheldon.

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Naming Dog Breeds After Location and Job

Posted on 6 June 2015 by Larry Russwurm

It’s popular amongst the many breeds of dog to name them after their geographic location they were first bred in or the job they were bred for. The German Shepherd is named after both. And throughout this post I intend to use that template for German Shepherds as well as other dogs.

The German Shepherd emigrated from Germany to the New World. In such a large disruption of a population they even shifted occupations. Ask any American to imagine a police dog. The vast majority will imagine the inaptly named German Shepherd. So I suggest a name change for this breed. They henceforth will be called American Police Dogs.

Those Labrador dogs are behind the times, too. In 1949, Labrador and Newfoundland were annexed by the country of Canada. And I can’t even imagine the roll of seeing eye dog or even helper dog being done by another breed. So I suggest these dogs should be called Canada Seeing Eye Dogs.

Then there is the name hound. What on Earth is that name supposed to represent? No, no, we can’t let this lie. Their job is that of the baying sniffer dog. It borders on silly to have working dogs like these being in the city. I suggest the name Rural Baying Sniffer Dogs for these breeds.

What is the adjective most used to describe a junk yard dog? Why “mean” of course. And what dog automatically pops into your head when you hear the word mean? You may be ashamed of it, but I know you thought of a Pitbull before any other type of mean dog. Of course the purpose of a mean dog at a junkyard is to guard the place. So I hereby dub the Pitbull to be the Junk Yard Guard Dog.

Then there is the Doberman Pinscher. These dogs are many times trained in groups to be attack/guard dogs. Who can afford such security? Why the rich of course. So I say we call these dogs Rich Attack Dogs.

I can hear you saying “Just wait a minute, you are talking big breeds of dogs. Surely you can see the small dogs as having jobs to do like being an early door bell.”

Look. If you want an early doorbell it is just as effective having a motion sensor. And its even better to have a camera for insurance purposes. The main job of small dogs is already much in use in the language. They are called Toy dogs for a reason. And in fact these dogs are ubiquitous thus there is no need to use a geographical marker. These dogs will remain Toy dogs.

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