Making Sense Out of Cell Replenishment

Posted on 8 February 2012 by Larry Russwurm

Perhaps you’ve heard that every seven years, your bodily cells replenish themselves. Or maybe you’ve heard it happens every ten years. Well I have heard this, too. The seven year thing, especially, makes sense.

After all if you’ve broken a mirror you’re supposed to get seven years of bad luck. Doesn’t it make sense that every single bad luck cell that broke that mirror is different after the seven years. So these new cells are able to be neutral or even lucky.

Have you heard about the seven year itch? That’s the time when married couples who once loved each other dearly are then tempted to stray. They even made a movie about this premise. If you promised to love your spouse forever, all those cells are gone after seven years which might get you thinking of straying. And, according to cell replenishment ideas, your spouse becomes a completely different person after seven years, too. Did you sign up for this new person?

Then there is the absolution provided by bankruptcy. After seven years your bankruptcy no longer shows up on your credit history. Isn’t this fair? At the end of your seven years folk wisdom has it that you have become a new person.

But there are people who would have it that the seven year replenishment thing is a modern myth. Indeed they use science to show that this is the case. Apparently the cells of the body replenish themselves at different rates. But we can make some sense even out of modern cell replenishment theory.

According to this article, fat cells are replaced in about 10 years. So maybe you can blame a 10 year marital itch on your fat. The more inconsiderate will blame it on their spouse’s fat.

Cerebral cortex neurons are never replaced. You might think you’ve pulled the wool over our eyes when you have a bankruptcy. You might be the same in the mind even though society absolves you of blame. But you will experience some guilt. And if cerebral cortex neurons can last your lifetime, so might that guilt.

And according to that same article, the heart even changes rates of replenishment at different ages. Those of you who see the heart as the seat of emotions can have your fun with a variable heart. Indeed this might make sense to those people, seeing varying emotions for varying times of life. Does it surprise anyone that the heart gets less variable as we age?

From the article, it seems like cell replenishment theory is still in its infancy. Might we find even more sensible links between new findings and life? I think we might.

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Has Liz II Been Cheated Out of an Era?

Posted on 4 February 2012 by Larry Russwurm

On this coming Monday, February 6, 2012 it will be 60 years since Queen Elizabeth II began reigning over Canada, the United Kingdom, Australia and New Zealand. This diamond jubilee has only happened once before in British history: Queen Victoria has also managed to rule for over 60 years.

In fact, we know the time of Victoria’s reign because it was called the Victorian Era. I imagine more links to be drawn between the two monarchs. But at present it looks like Liz will never get the honour of an era named after her.

Firstly, there was already an Elizabethan Era. Elizabeth I ruled for 44 years and in her time William Shakespeare became a famous playwright. That is what is known as the Elizabethan Era. So we can’t use that name again.

Indeed, with a more pervasive American culture while Liz II has reigned, more royalty neutral terms have come to the forefront. Most of these monikers have to due with technology. Like the atomic age, the space age, the computer age, and even the plastic age.

Maybe just maybe we could somehow combine a more American style, neutral moniker with the Elizabeth name, that is somehow representative of today?

With wimpier and wimpier purveyors of art in our times, the sequel has gotten to be so much more popular that some wonder what remains to make a sequel of other than another sequel.

The Elizabethan Era, the Sequel could be representative of our times.

And at least we know exactly when this era started. The atomic age, the space age, the computer age and the plastic ages all have vague starting points. We can spare ourselves the debate and call this the Elizabethan Era the Sequel.

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Boy is My Face Red

Posted on 1 February 2012 by Larry Russwurm

Yes my face is red and reader I’ll let you guess whether it’s from embarrassment, anger or cold (it is after all Canada in the winter).

You see, I have authored 4 posts mocking the mailings of my member of parliament (Harold Albrecht). After all if taxpayer money is to be wasted on this, someone who finds failings in these reports encourages less money be spent.

It’s just that in the last mailing, there was a survey attached which was online. Finally curious, I checked it out. And despite the mailing being under the Harold Albrecht name, this survey was a Conservative party of Canada endeavour.

Much to my chagrin, I realized that most of the content in the mailings came directly from the higher ups in the Conservative party. And with the short leash Stephen Harper allows his MP’s to be on, it’s probably half true that the mailings originated in his office.

So when I said in “My Member of Parliament and the Other Feds” that Harold Albrecht was a hypocrite, what should have been said was that Stephen Harper was a controlling hypocrite.

Most of the post “More Harold Albrecht Propaganda” also should refer to Harper as well.

Stephen Harper should be called doubly a liar in “Hounding the Hounder”.

And in the recent “Harold Albrecht Spin Machine is Back”, it should be said that Harper is the one who is obnoxiously leading in his spin.

Firstly I am shocked that the mighty Conservative propaganda machine came up with these fliers and leading questions. You don’t expect something that has won elections, like the Conservative party, to be so bad at spin. The liar tag and hypocrite tag I was able to give to Haro—make that Stephen Harper, was due to their own poorly chosen words. This spin machine wins elections?

And Harold Albrecht, before you think you are in the clear, you deserve a big shame, shame, shame etc. that lasts as long as you are in office under Stephen Harper. Your mug is still all over the propaganda.

If the reader has decided that I am red with embarrassment and anger, they would be right. My face isn’t red from the cold. It is so mild this winter in southern Ontario, that I’ve taken to singing “I’m dreaming of a green February, just like the ones I’ve never known.”

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Liz: ‘No Fascinators at My Diamond Jubilee’

Posted on 28 January 2012 by Larry Russwurm

Perhaps Liz didn’t quite come out and say this so directly. In fact this never officially came from her lips in any form. But the upper crust at Ascot racecourse will no longer accept the head wear at the royal enclosure. Presumably this is okay with the Queen. Indeed she may have ordered it herself with the hint that truly important royal events better not have fascinators.

If you’re unfamiliar with the fascinators a search for fascinator images might give you a feeling for what they are. They are mostly small hats or other head wear usually placed on the head at such gravity defying angles that they must be pinned to the hair (although the demure wearers might not tell you this). They are especially popular amongst the younger British upper class. The Duchess of Cambridge herself and the princess Bea and Eugenie have been known to sport them.

Liz has been upstaged by fascinators at her grandson’s wedding already. I’m sure that there are other events on the social calendar that have made her cringe (but royally!) knowing that all the talk is about the latest fascinators.

Well the head of the monarchy might not say which way Britain is going politically anymore, but she rules with an iron fist when it comes to the style of the upper class. And fascinators aren’t going to upstage Liz at her diamond jubilee. The jubilee is for reigning for 60 straight years. Only Queen Victoria has previously managed this feat in all of British tradition.

Royal Ascot’s demands are one with the Queen. This was a classy way to announce it Liz. So for this year, expect Liz to bring classy back. Well at least an 85-year-old’s idea of classy.

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New Improved Birth Order Theory

Posted on 25 January 2012 by Larry Russwurm

In the post All Psychologists are Lazy, I took umbrage with the state of birth order theory. I especially disliked that theory which stated 5th born children are the same as 1st born children and 6th born children are the same as 2nd born children. This cycle seemed lazy to me and I doubted the cycle because I am a 6th born and see few connections between me and my 2nd born sibling.

But now I’ve had time to really think about it and think I have devised a new birth order theory which I think is improved, mainly because it is even lazier than any previous birth order theories.

1st Born Children:

These children are known for being middling to extremely independent. They are colourful, included in their midst are children with all skin colours, hair and eye colouring. Many times they are the chumps of the sibling world. Reckless risk takers, parents often have to keep them on a short leash.

As well, 1st born children are cautious wallflowers whose parents often have to give them a little nudge. Often they are the champs of the sibling world. Their personalities occur in a broad spectrum from gregarious to self isolating. They are known for being middling to extremely dependent.

2nd Born Children:

Here is where the beauty of my system kicks in. Instead of waiting till the 5th born child to start a cycle, 2nd born children are the same as 1st born children. The cycle starts this early and is thus much easier on the brain of the student of birth order.

3rd Born Children:

Same as 2nd born children.

4th Born Children:

Same as 3rd born children.

5th Born Children:

In this beautiful theory I have managed to preserve the original cycle. 5th born children are the same as 1st born children.

6th Born Children:

They are the same as 2nd born children.

You can see the pattern, now, so I’ll stop and just say that only children are the same as 1st born children because, of course 1st born children lived part of life as an only child.

Thank you for hearing my little theory. Maybe one day cooler heads will prevail in psychology and they will acknowledge this theory as being at least as viable.

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The Ligh-yer Based Professions and the Unending Copyright Wars

Posted on 21 January 2012 by Larry Russwurm

On SOPA/PIPA protest day (there has been at least one call to name it Netizens Day), the supreme court of the USA decided that since they had cover, they could rule that the public domain could be taken from the public.

The public domain is owned by the public. What we have seen is a group of power hungry, greedy individuals successfully get permission to claw back some of the profitable and popular parts of the public domain. This is not a victimless crime. The entirety of the USA owned these works and they are being taken away.

And to do this, the supreme court used the cover of SOPA/PIPA protests. These are other copyright issues being brought about by other lawyer based professions.

Copyright lawyering, politicking and judging have all been going through boom times. These lawyer based professions know that copyright is a huge make work project for all these professions. If you didn’t know it before, many, many politicians come from a lawyer background and judges very often begin their careers as lawyers.

These professions know how valuable it is to other lawyers to keep copyright law changing. So the judges and the politicians (who are also making money out of copyright) keep trying to shape the law according to the wet dreams of big copyright holders. The unending greed of Hollywood copyright holders and music copyright holders (the MPAA and RIAA respectively) has fuelled this. The greed of the copyright holders has been well documented, I want to focus on the lawyer based professions.

Maybe these professions said to the MPAA and RIAA, name your wettest dream for rights and power. Make it so extreme, the politicians might have said, that if we compromise you still win. And that’s what we’ve been getting – only extreme copyright maximalization has been fought for by politicians ushering in an era of bad laws. But when they saw little organized resistance, politicians and lawyers started imagining a life of extreme wealth and extreme power. So they pushed hard for SOPA and PIPA till some powers on the Internet finally objected in strong terms and getting the word out by the black outs the other day and other means.

The blackouts didn’t require lawyers. Seeing a possible end to the boom years, the supreme court judges reacted in a way to show the MPAA and RIAA that their money still carried weight despite the popular outcry. I expect the copyright wars to continue with the lawyer based professions keeping up the attack, still financed by the MPAA and RIAA.

There is nothing funny about all this. But let me try to lighten the scene with an observation.

I am told that people are so enamoured by the familiarity of their names that, in a totally disproportionate way, people named Dennis are more likely to be dentists and people named Lawrence are more likely to be lawyers.

[Personally I always tell people my full first name is Larry – I’m not a Lawrence. Thus I’m more likely to bury people or work in a dairy along with Mary, Terry and Gary.]

With Dennis the Dentist and Lawrence the Lawyer being a disproportionate human connection, wouldn’t a career lawyer make a connection to a certain accent of their title as ligh-yer. In fact why not go even softer on the ‘y’ and say liar. I believe the connection has been made many times by all the lawyer based professionals. And judging from results, the liar part does indeed seem to attract them.

So next time you see stats for things there are no stats for (like the underground economy), you can bet that a liar made these up.

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The Ultimate in Anti Intellectuals – Cats

Posted on 19 January 2012 by Larry Russwurm

I just got a new cat. A pretty black cat that goes by the name of Bast. She is roughly a year and a half old and I welcome her into my life. There’s just one thing. I forgot how anti intellectual cats are.

If you don’t believe me try reading a book in the presence of a cat. Whatever the cat is doing it will stop that and come over to you. You think the cat just wants to be petted. Since you have two hands you think you can pet with one and hold the book with the other.

But the cat is insistent and constantly gets between you and the book or even e reader. You push the cat out of the way many times. Finally you give up for a moment and set the reading material down. What does the cat do immediately? It lies on the book or e reader. With no hope left of reading, you pet the cat – just as that feline wanted you to.

I don’t know how cats figured out literacy is tied tightly to reading and writing. But figure it out they did. And they’ve been sabotaging increased literacy ever since.

Still don’t believe me? Just try to read or write on a computer as I’m doing right now. It won’t be long now. Bast will spy me at work, concentrating not on her but a screen. She will climb on my lap. Stupidly I will pat her there not thinking of past experience. It will happen that she will get between me and the screen. I will push her out of the way but she knows the game is to go back. And if I am writing she will step on a few random keys to make things even harder for me.

I think cats are anti intellectual because all they need from us is food and someone to change the kitty litter. And given enough mice in the area, cats will end up feeding themselves. So us human owners of cats are just litter changers.

You don’t have to be literate to change kitty litter and cats know this. In fact the more literate you are, cats know that you are even more likely not to want to change litter. So there you have it.

But a lucky 1/1000th of a percent will be so literate that they will know how to train the cat from going in the litter and get it instead to go in the toilet. In my time between cats, I did not bother to learn and memorize those strategies that get a cat to use the toilet.

My time frittered away, I know I have a life stuck with cleaning the kitty litter forever more. And I know if I call up the web pages in the presence of my cat, she will instantly get in my way.

But wait. What will happen if my cat discovers I wrote this? The only good thing about the anti intellectualism is that they are anti intellectual in regards to themselves, too. So she may ignore this warning to the outside world. Uh oh, I hear tiny footste

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Stories that are Setting Driven

Posted on 14 January 2012 by Larry Russwurm

Fiction writing has long been divided into the two areas of Genre fiction and Literary fiction. It has been said that one of the contrasting features of these two areas is that Genre fiction is plot driven and Literary fiction is character driven.

Now this isn’t always the case. Some Genre fiction is more about character and some Literary fiction revels in plot. But as a rule of thumb, a lot of the times it is the case.

I would like to propose a third driver of fiction, one that I am especially interested in. That is the setting driven story. It is not a new story type, in my mind many stories already have been written using it. That whole “sense of wonder” thing that is big in science fiction might, in many cases, have been the most significant part of research and speculation and even driver of the story. In other stories, if the main conflict can be thought of as being ‘Man vs. Nature’ a case can be given for it being a setting based story.

Stories I’d suggest as being setting driven might include Larry Niven’s Neutron Star or Charles G. D. Roberts’ The Blackwater Pot. There may be other conflicts in these examples, but let me suggest that the Man vs. Nature one is the most important.

But setting is a where, how can that truly drive a story? Let’s make a setting or landscape based metaphor. Say the lead character is a ball. And all the other characters and plot devices are mounds or depressions. Drop the ball onto the landscape at the beginning and the story comes out of the ball rolling depending on those mounds and depressions. The ball always rolls from higher to lower unless it has enough momentum to surmount smaller mounds. Eventually the ball will come to a halt. That can be an ending.

It’s like a machine. The higher to lower thing is setting. It moves everything and characters and plot devices just deflect or attract – they don’t define the whole landscape. The story is driven by the higher to lower thing. There really is only one path and at the ending you might see this. In Neutron Star, the hero must figure out what killed the passengers of an earlier expedition or die himself.

Figuring things out about the blackwater pot is the thing that allows the hero to live long enough in The Blackwater Pot. That is until the setting creates a storm and allows him to live. Afterwords he’s more afraid of the ‘pot’ than the bad guys.

A true understanding of your setting can save your life.

And indeed whole fiction classifications can be defined by setting. There is the obvious Western. If it’s taking place in the future, odds are it’s science fiction. If it takes place in a specific point in the past, it is a period piece.

So what has this to do with anything? I have every intention of publishing some science fiction that is setting driven. I care very much.

But since starting this blog 2 years ago, my productivity in the fiction writing has largely dried up. I’m thinking of dropping down to a post a week so fiction writing and other endeavours might increase. If you happen to notice that drop off, ask me about my science fiction.

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Poor Harper – He’s Jonesing Right Now

Posted on 11 January 2012 by Larry Russwurm

It’s been about 8 months. Or 254 days. That’s about 6 096 hours. Poor Stephen Harper. That’s how long it’s been since he’s run an attack ad.

Who could have foreseen it? Both major opposition parties being leaderless this long. The Liberal thing might have been expected – they went from being the 2nd place party to 3rd. But who foresaw the untimely death of Jack Layton, leader of the New Democrat Party?

Harper is jonesing and it shows. Pass this half @$$ed bill. Pass that half @$$ed bill. Let’s omnibus some together. Let’s omnibus a lot together. Stack the senate even more to ensure ease of passage in a speedy time. His make work for himself project probably helps a little in this trying time.

Anything to take poor Harper’s mind off the fact there are no attack ads on TV about even one of his opponents. His cabinet has stood firm. No attack ads against the Greens leader Elizabeth May because that’s a way of admitting the Greens are a real party.

When, oh when will the Liberals and New Democrats pass all the hurdles and other rigamarole on the way to attaining a new leader?

And you know Harper wants to start. He now has two leaders he needs to denigrate before a national audience. As soon as he had the current majority, you know he was looking ahead to what it will take to get a second majority. That massive Conservative war chest better be big enough to attack two opposition leaders for about 3 years. Because as soon as he can, Harper will begin.

And attack ads at all times of the year pay off. It worked for Harper getting him into government and then again to getting his majority last time around. It even worked for the provincial Liberals in Ontario who softened up Tim Hudak of the Progressive Conservatives before the official election began. Dalton McGuinty fell short of a majority by one seat, but that’s good enough to govern for the time being.

Of course Harper likes to attack. Why else have pitbull John Baird in the cabinet these many years? Why else would he sully the reputation of Stephane Dion, then Michael Ignatieff and even toward the end of last election, Jack Layton? I think it’s a stress release for Harper.

He needs his fix but he is going to have to wait even longer. Because you see, at this stage no one feels like being kind to Harper.

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An Offbeat Strategy for an Offbeat Party

Posted on 7 January 2012 by Larry Russwurm

Update: I was down Bleams Road today (January 22) and the sign is down. Which is too bad, really, because I might have done another post by getting a group of people around the sign, holding up their index finger as part of the one sign campaign I envisioned for the Greens. Did someone actually read this site and then pull the sign down? I like to think so. Because I didn’t get a picture of the sign with a snowy landscape, I have no proof that it was up as late as January. Did the sign exist and what is reality? Only I and the sign taker know for sure.

I was under the impression that in Canada, after a federal election, signs must come down. But the federal election took place on May 2, 2011 – some 7 months ago, and Albert Ashley’s sign on Bleams Road in Kitchener by the train tracks is still up.

I would have snapped a picture for this post, but only infrequently do I travel Bleams Road and of course I had no camera with me yesterday when I spotted it.

I think the sign being up is no accident. Albert Ashley was the Green Party candidate and I suspect they are trying unconventional strategies to get somewhere in our first past the post system where the majority of votes can be considered meaningless.

Here’s what I think. They are directly trying to compete with the mega wealth of the Conservative Party that slags other leaders in their negative campaigns. These campaigns don’t respect the former laws against electioneering outside of election windows. The Greens have found a cheap way to positively campaign for their guy outside the campaign – just leave up the election sign.

But then, wait, why didn’t the Greens leave up all their signs from the last federal election? I think they are showing their hand for subsequent elections. One solitary sign shows that they are being good for the environment. Congratulations Green Party. I’m glad you are thinking so seriously about your carbon footprint.

Indeed they probably hope that the single sign will create such buzz in my community that it will be worth the hundreds, even thousands of signs the other political parties will use. Indeed, I’ve begun buzzing on this blog site and who knows what other local sites will follow. Maybe the mass media will get involved at some point – especially when the next federal election begins.

Don’t waiver Greens, even if the other parties call you out for sign pollution at out of bounds times. There will be people jealous of this strategy so even if some government officials talk fines, ignore them. Greens can rally around that one lone sign. If they pull it up, replace it with a new one and say the authorities are forcing you to pollute more.

Reuse is one step above recycle. Green power!

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