Cheesily Romantic Art

Posted on 1 May 2010 by Larry Russwurm

Years ago some friends of mine were getting married. I forget what I gave them as a gift. But for a card there was something “unique” that I wanted to give them.

You see, years earlier I had purchased “The Royal Family Pop-Up Book”. There was a bin full of them in the World’s Biggest Bookstore in Toronto in the late ’80s. Ordinarily I disdain royalty merchandise. But this was an elaborate pop up book and the price was only $1.99 . They must have been clearing them out. Judging by the dates given in the book like 1983, I’m sure this is what they were doing.

So what does this have to do with my friends? Well one page of the pop-up book had Prince Charles and Lady Di facing each other. A tab could be pulled and the pair would come together for their marriage kiss.

Since I can get a pretty good likeness of most people when drawing, I wanted to draw my friends heads and using a similar apparatus as the pop up book, have them come together in a kiss as the tab was pulled. It’s just that I don’t know how most pop-up book apparatus works. And did I say this was elaborate? Not only do they lean in for a kiss, the upper torso moves in and their locked hands move slightly.

My only hope was to copy the apparatus of “The Royal Family Pop-Up Book”. But it was mostly hidden, even from weird angles, and I was loathe to take apart the pop-up parts because I would ruin my book. When did I become so attached to a book I almost didn’t buy? Anyways, I never did make that card.

I’m looking at the book, now. There’s some neat 3D scenes but the highlight of the book is really the kiss.

“Oh, Charles!”

“Oh, Di!”

Smooch, smooch, kissy, kissy, kiss.

“But, Di, some people think I shouldn’t kiss a cadaver. And other people think I shouldn’t even kiss you!”

-er sorry, there, I must have zoned out.

Anyhow, if anyone on the Internet knows how to figure out the pop-up book mechanism and would like to post it online, I’d like to see it.

In fact I would like to see someone make a stock card of a kissing couple with blank faces. I could buy one for $5 and draw the faces and maybe sell the product for $50 and I and others could make more money off of weddings. Photographers could do the same – take a profile of the bride and groom’s heads and attach them to the stock card. Weird people could put a picture of Pacman and Ms. Pacman, put it on the stock card and play.

The byline on the book says paper engineering by Vic Duppa-Whyte. Maybe he could make stock cards. In my brief search of him on the Internet I found he paper engineered other pop-up books, all seemingly from the ’80s. I couldn’t find if he was alive today or even when he was born.

But that’s not my only cheesily romantic art idea.

Hopefully, you’ve all seen the picture of the vase. But is it two profiles? In its 2D incarnation it could be either. But I was thinking of making a 3D vase based on it. Years ago, I had the idea to make that vase and make it so the two profiles are of any couple of your choosing. Wouldn’t this make a cheesily romantic gift?

However, I saw that gift more recently in a psychology text. It was an art gift to some royal couple. The gift predated my idea.

But just to prove that I independently thought of it myself, I think it would be important to blend the profiles on the 3D vase such that the two profiles’ features would be blended smoothly, halfway to each other. That way, if you rotated the vase 90 degrees you would have an evenly blended profile.

To a childless couple you could say the combined profile is their child.

To a couple with children you could say the profile is their “good child”. Just remember if any of their bad children find out, the “good child” vase might end up broken.

Posted in Art, Humour | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments

My Member of Parliament and the other Feds

Posted on 27 April 2010 by Larry Russwurm

I’m annoyed with my Canadian Member of Parliament and the sheer amount of propaganda he sends me from the federal parliament. Because he’s an MP and a member of the ruling party, he gets to send these out on the public dime (actually 50 cents or whatever a stamp is worth nowadays). And it is propaganda, allow me to illustrate from the latest update.

After the political rhetoric you’d expect on an issue from Harold Albrecht and his Conservative party, There is a big heading saying “I Value Your Opinion”. Fine, maybe he believes in participatory democracy. Below it says in smaller lettering “Do YOU support these improvements to the Youth Criminal Justice Act??”[There are two question marks on the flier – just thought I’d include them]. Below is a box to check “YES” and a box to check for “NO”.

Uh, if you’re going to answer “NO” to this question you certainly wouldn’t call the changes “improvements”. Obviously Albrecht doesn’t care for the other opinion someone might have. Obviously “I Value Your Opinion” was a lie and he is now a hypocrite.

So here is what I’m going to do about this. Remember that free mailing Albrecht got? Well it’s a two edged sword. My response (where I’m supposed to answer just his questions [there are more boxes]) is also free to send by mail. I’m going to highlight the word “improvements” and the “NO” with the box and say in the margin:

“Yo, Suit [Albrecht appears on the flier three times, in all three appearances he’s wearing a suit], if I were to check “NO” I wouldn’t call these “improvements”. It’s like you DON’T value my opinion and that is harshing my mellow.”

While we’re talking about the ruling Conservative Party, it should be noted that prime minister Stephen Harper is surrounded by three women in the House of Commons. So every time he’s shown on the news, we are allowed to assume that a large percentage of women are in the Conservative Party. Let me tell you up front that is not the proportion of women in the Conservative Party.

The opposition Liberal Party has the same but different idea.. They make sure that every shot of their leader contains Navdeep Bains, a turban wearer, to sell themselves as friendly to minorities and visible minorities. Again the makeup of the Liberal Party doesn’t have a proper representation of visible minorities either. I can accept this better though, because large amounts of visible minorities are recent immigrants and haven’t developed their power capital yet.

But really I think Navdeep Bains looks like one of those eastern mystics from the ’20s and ’30s who wore turbans and hypnotized people. So every time he is seen behind Michael Ignatieff is another chance for him to hypnotize Canadians into voting Liberal. “How’s that going to go?” you ask. Just wait till the next election.

Posted in Humour, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

The Moon is the New Mars – the Way the US Space Program was Going

Posted on 24 April 2010 by Larry Russwurm

Under Dubya’s vision for space, the U.S. was going to to go to the Moon again then eventually get to Mars. Allow me to illustrate how this was going to go.

You can’t just have a vision. You have to have a way of achieving that vision. In the U.S. space program, that method is NASA. When NASA is starved of cash it doesn’t achieve all of its goals. When it is bathing in cash it is much better at achievement.

Just take a look at Wikipedia’s NASA Budget site and you can see that NASA needed much more money while developing the technologies to make it to the Moon.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NASA_Budget

A similar boost is needed and probably for longer to make it to Mars as a manned mission. Dubya didn’t give NASA enough more to have the breakthroughs a Mars mission might need. In fact NASA funding remained low under Dubya even after the “vision” was presented. This is the first point in why I think the Moon was going to end up the final destination under Dubya’s vision.

The second reason happened only months ago. The LCROSS mission found evidence of water inside a crater at the Moon’s south pole. If you don’t have to transport water to the Moon, this lends support to the idea that it’s a good place to put a base on.

The third reason the Moon could become the new Mars and thus be the end destination of Dubya’s vision is occurring on the International Space Station. They are recycling the astronauts’ water. Yuk! Let me repeat, they are recycling the astronaut’s water. Thus, the little water that may be found on the Moon could go a long, long way. A Moon Base’s worth, maybe.

The fourth reason is possible life on Mars. Dubya and his successors would have given as a reason for not making it to Mars, that they were taking the moral high ground. That is, they would say that they do not want to contaminate any possible life on Mars by sending billions of microbes there along with their human hosts. That’s right, I’m saying that Dubya’s successors might take a note of ethical superiority.

Under Obama, the U.S. Does not have a rocket to space and thus, once the space shuttle missions have stopped, the U.S. has to rely on other nations to make it to space. This could go on for a while.

Rather than rush to make a Moon capable rocket, Obama is going to take longer to get a more powerful rocket to get to Mars and some asteroids. In a time of budget freeze in all other endeavours, Obama has increased NASA’s budget by 6 billion dollars over 5 years. Notice that this breaks the first point of Dubya’s destination, so it is quite possible that Obama might get his vision done by the 2030’s where it is said to pay off.

That leaves everyone else to try for the Moon like Dubya was going to do. And the Moon has no shortage of potential suitors like China, India, Russia, Europe and Japan who have each sent a probe to at least orbit the Moon. And this time, if an Obama descended program reaches Mars, these countries will say “tsk, tsk, endangering all those potential Martian microbes.” The U.S. will have new bragging rights and the rest of the world will take the moral high ground.

Being part of that rest of the world (Canada), I don’t think the height of that moral high ground is very high. All I can think of is that ’70s science fiction story that had “equal rights for germs” taking over society. Bathing became illegal because it caused the death of many microbes. [If anyone can find a trace of this story on the internet, I’d like to see it. I thought it was indeed entitled “Equal Rights for Germs” but found nothing under that search. I also think it was published in Analog because some of those magazines were kicking around the house while I was growing up.]

Posted in Humour, Politics, Science | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

The No Name Decades

Posted on 17 April 2010 by Larry Russwurm

Last decade we all struggled to find a widely accepted name for that time. And here we are, fresh into another decade and once again it has no generally accepted name.

It made me laugh last decade to hear one particular radio station skirt the issue. They said, “we play the best of the ’80s, ’90s and today”. Now, even they’ve given up on the decade tags.

So what did they call the 19 zero whatevers? Maybe we can lift something from that. They called it the turn of the century. Maybe we could get away with calling last decade the turn of the millenium.

But that doesn’t sound right somehow. Turn of the century was coined in a much more pretentious time. Millenium is an even harder word to handle than century. And the dominant part of society right now seems to like things more bare bones and stripped down. So what should we do?

So what is the zero in the decade spot? Why it’s a place value of course. Maybe that’s what we could call last decade – the place values.

But I’ve heard people when talking about the turn of the century decade or the millenium decade refer to a specific year as oh nine for either 1909 or 2009. It’s this which gives me fire for how it’s worked out in my mind. So last decade could be known as the ohs.

And finally, at the very end of 2009 I heard a couple attempts of decade naming, calling it the oughts. As well I offer noughts as meaning the equivalent. So there you have it, not one name for last decade but five. I prefer the oughts, noughts or ohs. Just quit being so meek by not naming it. Pick one and say it every time. I at least will know what you mean and be accepting of any of the above choices. At least, finally, someone will be putting themselves on record.

This decade is relatively easier because I see fewer choices. There is the obvious one that doesn’t roll off the tongue “tens” which could also be written ’10s. But I prefer teens. I think most people would. But I know there are naysayers out there who will say that the teens don’t officially start until 13. I say we have the power to define teens any way we want.

I have made my picks and it is ohs and teens. So if you see me referring to last decade or this decade as anything else, call me on it. I’m planning to make this stand. Rather than the word vacuum we’ve lived through thus far, I’d rather you called these decades something even if it’s one of the other possibilities or something else you’ve latched onto.

And remember, at the end of this decade, we’ll be able to look back with 2020 vision.

Posted in Humour, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

What’s Up With Earth Hour?

Posted on 10 April 2010 by Larry Russwurm

It was reported on my television news that the power savings of earth hour had gone down locally. During last year’s Earth Hour, power usage decreased 6% of normal. This Earth Hour the power usage decreased only 4%. Does this spell the beginning of the end for Earth Hour? The news report didn’t really say but you were left to conclude it might very well be.

But let’s look at Earth Hour. It is very much a symbolic event. Most people who support it pretty much just switch off their lights for an hour. And it can be a learning thing as events are set up with non electrical lights to gather as a group and maybe learn a thing or two about using less electricity and helping the environment..

Let’s be honest, saving that 6 or 4 percent electricity for an hour isn’t going to save the world. We need to cut down on the electricity for all the other hours of a year to help the environment by needing less capacity in the power grid. Since Earth Hour is symbolic, maybe it’s not the best thing to be eyeing the numbers so closely. Perhaps last year people turned off their computers and other electronics and this year they just did it with their lights.

Or maybe the ecopigs are jealous of the goody goods taking part in these events. Perhaps they are using extra electricity during Earth Hour. You know, put on the blender, the TV, the electric stoves the stereo etc., all in an effort to make the goody goods look like they have diminishing numbers. Maybe that will sap them of their group strength.

Or perhaps the neighbourhood is now composed of a large percentage of grow-ops. And since they are stealing the electricity to begin with, these marijuana king pins aren’t likely to come out to all their houses and cut the electrical use for an hour just to be a goody good.

And then again, maybe the numbers are proof that Earth Hour is a roaring success. After all, turning off the lights is the main thrust of Earth Hour. But let’s say one third of last year’s Earth Hour participants bought exclusively compact fluorescent lights. And replaced all their old lights with these. As the power demands of these lights approach zero when compared with the old lights, when all the lights of all the goody goods get shut off during earth hour, the power use savings will only be 4% rather than last year’s 6%.

You’re right, the compact fluorescent lights didn’t quite go to zero electricity usage. So we’ll need a shade more than 1/3 of Earth Hour participants to have bought exclusively compact fluorescents for their homes. But it could still explain the difference. It’s doable, could’ve been done and Earth Hour might be a rip roaring success. That’s why I hate unexamined numbers which let you come to any of a number of conclusions.

Posted in Humour, Mathematics, Politics | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Talkers

Posted on 3 April 2010 by Larry Russwurm

There is a schism that exists in the art world. It is between realist artists and abstract artists. Or increasingly common, the names are illustrators and what I shall reveal later.

First of all calling realist artists illustrators is, I think, a shot by the abstract artists. Why? Well first of all, artist is now omitted from the title. Secondly, look up the definition of illustrate. Art isn’t the 1st intention of the craft. My dictionary defines illustrate as 1. to make clear or explain, as by examples or comparisons. 2. to furnish (books etc.) with explanatory or decorative drawings, pictures, etc. Notice how explain is in both definitions.

And abstract artist is not a full enough name for what those artists do. For instance, last week in the comments section of this blog, we had the example of an artist putting a urinal on display as being a piece of art. This isn’t abstract at all. It’s so realistic, it’s the real thing. I think most people would agree with me that this behaviour belongs more with the abstract artists than the realist artists. But if we include it, the word abstract no longer fully applies.

What is this type of art then? I’ve heard the new abstract described as various answers to the question “What is art?” Now this sounds to me like a very boring conversation – one question for innumerable pieces of work. So it probably will not surprise you that I am more of an illustrator (I do political cartoons and plain cartoons). But maybe this one question can help sum up the new abstract art for you. Since it is a conversation, I now dub abstract artists and their brethren talkers.

That’s right, they’re trying to push the term illustrators and get realist art further from the “art world”, so I just want you to know that talkers aren’t necessarily artists either, even if what they do appears visual. And most people know it’s true in their hearts. How many of us have been in a gallery and asked “What’s that supposed to be?” And then heard an explanation. To me, it appears that the talking is more important than the art.

So that is the name I drag into service and is also my shot over to the abstract and related world.

Posted in Art, Wee Bit O' Humour | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

All Fool’s Eve

Posted on 1 April 2010 by Larry Russwurm

All Fool’s Eve was first started in the 12th century at the court of King Gustaf in Latvia. Unable to decide which jester he liked the most he created a night of competition for the fools in the eve of March 31 which became known as All Fool’s Eve. All the competitors were given white conical hats which were called “dunche” hats from which the English dunce cap is descended.

The competition was harder to judge than King Gustaf had anticipated. The annual competition was likely to run on late into the night until morning. April 1st began to be known as Fool’s Day.

Among the commoners, who couldn’t afford fools, it became popular to make their own fools by trickery and earning a good laugh when successful. It slowly became common to trick victims early in the morning of April 1st when they were still half asleep. Thus, the majority came to think of April Fools Day as the real event and as monarchies slowly fell into disfavour All Fool’s Eve was pretty much forgotten.

For more information on All Fool’s Eve visit the website: allfoolseve.com .

Posted in History | Tagged , , , , | 6 Comments

Not Novel

Posted on 27 March 2010 by Larry Russwurm

There is a major schism that exists in the writing world. The two sides are usually called “literature” and “genre”. Literature is usually that which gets taught in English classes and genre usually means any important genre, ie. western, romance, fantasy, science fiction or mystery.

Literature pushers have snubbed all the genres for years and years. That’s why there are separate awards in each genre for writing excellence. Before the genre awards, literature would not exalt any genre piece to even be in long lists for awards.

So you end up with people like me, being reverse snobs, liking genre and ignoring literature.

It’s true that some books are not obviously genre or literature. Occasionally I read these. But listed for the literature awards? Ha, ha, ha, ha. Awards sometimes have the opposite result of their intent.

It was with great shock that I heard of a literary neophyte that had plagiarized many of the passages in her new book. That’s right Helene Hegemann, 17, of Germany copied and plagiarized passages as long as a page with just a few words changed.

Instead of being completely demonized, after the scandal she was listed for a German award. Her defence? “there’s no such thing as originality anyway, there’s only authenticity.”

First of all the word is novel. If she can’t think of new things to write about, perhaps she shouldn’t be writing.

Secondly, perhaps over here closer to genre, especially near science fiction and its love affair with tech, we can see more clearly.

Isn’t a new thing in technology original? There are new things all the time. I come from the regime of the cathode ray tube. Now we have plasma or LCD screens everywhere. Something changed. Want to say “I’ve been in space”? Used to cost you 20 million dollars. Virgin Galactic is set to change this to a few hundred grand and soon. Instead of buying a house, you can buy a space trip. Something the common person may soon enjoy. Original things are coming down the pipe every day.

Indeed, engineering and science students are the most worried about their education becoming outdated. Because they see the changes coming and they’re fast, too.

So if you’re writing about the future, and most science fiction authors are, you at least have to keep up with tech, even be a bit ahead of it. So original things get said in many sf stories.

There is novelty in the other genres, too, for instance, mysteries will sometimes have new ways to do a heist or catch a murderer, sometimes even both in the same story.

If you are wondering, my nose was planted firmly up in the air for the writing of this piece. Thank you for the feeling of superiority, Helene Hegemann. Go genre, go!

Posted in Wee Bit O' Humour, Writing | Tagged , , , , , | 6 Comments

The Joy of Public Transit

Posted on 24 March 2010 by Larry Russwurm

There’s something new with my public transit. It’s the best thing in buses since the advent of air conditioning. Yes, if you have a car you can probably guess what it is. Global positioning.

It doesn’t come with a map like your car based system. It’s attached to an electronic sign that tells you either the street address or the name of the closest intersection.

I must add that we intrepid users of public transit are owed this. I’m not sure about your city but my city sells signs that cover the entire bus. There are little holes all through the sign that kind of let you see outside but it’s not as good as without the sign. As well, uncovered buses often have dirty windows so it can be hard to recognize the stops at night. That’s right, we passengers are owed this. Listen city and install the GPS’s in all the buses as soon as possible. I can’t wait till I have to find someplace new in the city and can rely on the GPS instead of the bus driver to find my stop.

There is one drawback to this system. You have to be able to read. And I’m not convinced that the bus driving public can.

You see in my city we have three different types of buses in regards to the back door. The oldest has vertical bars that need to be pushed on to get out. Then there are the other sensors. For one a sign says “place your hand here”. Another says “wave your hand here”.

I used to think that 98% of people could read most things. You know – the official literacy rate. That is until I saw that a large percentage of passengers do the wrong thing when trying to get out. Our city is doing its part in improving the literacy rate – I swear the type of bus you get is more randomized than most lotteries.

And I think that the public in my city has over internalized the idea that Canadians are politer than Americans. I’ve only seen this in the last couple years, passengers by the back door call “Thank you,” to the bus driver for stopping at their stop. Now the rider has to speak loudly to be heard when they are near the back, which in my opinion is rude. They are cutting through other conversations all in an ill conceived idea to be polite.

This over politeness reminds me of guests who ask if it’s okay to use your washroom. Trust me it’s much ruder to pee on my floor. But I digress from the ongoing bus riding saga.

Posted in Politics, Wee Bit O' Humour | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

What Has Fair Trade Coffee Spawned?

Posted on 20 March 2010 by Larry Russwurm

You’ve probably heard of Fair Trade Coffee over the last few years. I think it has become popular due to documentaries spreading the idea that the coffee grower makes next to nothing in the production of this crop. If you haven’t heard of fair trade the idea is simple. We in the rich west will pay a little more for coffee in order to give a fairer wage to the growers.

I’m certain that the fair trade movement has made an impression on the big coffee companies. Recent advertising has associated Nabob with The Rainforest Alliance. Being the product of a for profit company, the deal isn’t as good for the growers as Fair Trade. Nabob has only committed itself to buying 30% Rainforest Alliance coffee.

So on one hand we have fair trade coffee by goody goods and on the other hand we have a capitalist company concerned with profit. Now don’t get me wrong, at one point I might have sided with Nabob, especially if their product ended up being cheaper. Except…

Concerned capitalists keep wanting to enforce the primacy of the shareholder in corporations and thus almost everything comes down to the bottom line. As you probably know, most business people are “concerned capitalists” and if corporations have the rights of a person, it is as a very greedy person that they act as.

So I know in advance due to a preponderance of evidence that if the fair trade coffee organizations fail and Nabob survives, Nabob will eventually see the Rainforest Alliance as a money losing venture. They will either take away funding and keep prices the same or take away the funding and decrease their price to increase market share. Either thing might be done by a greedy person. Notice that there is no option for keeping funding.

Whereas if Nabob failed and fair trade coffee continued, I bet that the fair trade organizations would remain the same.

But wait, there’s another twist thrown out by a different coffee competitor – the mighty Maxwell House brand. I think they see fair trade coffee as straight up charity and thus they are now competing by simply giving straight to charities. In this area of the world.

For those of you who don’t know, coffee is grown in tropical countries – in the developing world. By giving to developed world charities, Maxwell house is making it about a choice of us or them. The greed of customers for their charities is being counted on to “vote” by buying Maxwell House coffee. Notice that the corporation, which is governed by greed for its shareholders, assumes greed is the guiding force in its customer base.

Despite my living in the developed world, I know that the developed world is so much poorer they need money more than the developed nations. Plus, I also know that if money reaches its intended destination in the developing world, the same amount stretches out way further than in the developed world.

So there you have it, three different coffee selling cultures and a brief rundown on the good it does for buying each. Obviously I am pro free trade coffee the most. But it is nice to see that there are 3 options in Canada that just don’t take, they give back as well. I blame free trade coffee. It’s those damn aforementioned goody goods.

Posted in Business, Politics, Wee Bit O' Humour | Tagged , , , , , , | 10 Comments