According to this article, the island of Manhattan has the United States’ biggest gold reserves. Bigger than even Fort Knox. An intriguing twist is that much of the reserves belong to Germany. Before Germany’s currency was taken off the gold standard, half of its gold reserves were placed in the United States.
But there have been cries of conspiracy coming from Germany. For decades no German had been allowed to see their own gold reserve in Manhattan. No wonder conspiracy theorists have been crying foul for awhile.
Now I don’t know know for certain what lies in those vaults deep on the Manhattan bedrock. But I have this idea of what could await curious Germans when the site is opened up.
The full reveal will show that most of the gold ingots have been replaced with vials labelled “Homoeopathic Gold Ingots”.
Scientific measurements will reveal that every last vial contains not even a molecule of gold as an impurity in the distilled water.
There will only be one note left in explanation. In German it will say:
“Each vial held one gold ingot and some distilled water for no less than one full week. With the important essence of the gold trapped in the vial, the ingot was removed and the water was then diluted and followed by a succussion (a forceful striking of the substance against an elastic body). This was repeated many times.
“Those followers of homeopathy in Germany will realize that in essence the vials still contain gold. Consider yourselves paid in full Germany. Thanks to your Samuel Hahnemann for being the creator of Homeopathy. Without that discovery, this scheme would never have been realized.
“Being true recyclers, the gold ingots were not tossed in the garbage or ill spent. Instead, in the future we will use it to compensate those homeopathic patients whose outcomes contradict homeopathy’s promises.”
Well at least that is what I hope the thieves use the gold for. Either they use it for that or for buying half of a continent.