Superhero Tryouts: The Fire Tosser

“I am Mother Earth and I call myself a cracker. I can get into any computer system in less than a second and I will help you in any adventures you might have – if you are accepted.”

“So I’ll only see this image of you on a computer while you hide safely wherever you are?”

“That’s it, but half the reason I am doing tryouts is to try to ensure that you are capable enough to handle the criminal element without too much danger to your person.

“You go by the name of The Fire Tosser. I must question the lethalness of your power. I assume you somehow throw fire. How can you subdue a criminal without killing or almost killing him?”

“Well I could surround him with a ring of fire-”

“You’d have to get all around him to do that. Or fly above him but you don’t fly. Do you?”

“No, but I could weld the doors shut of the building he’s trying to rob-”

“He’ll break through the window.”

“It might be a windowless vault. Or I could weld shut his getaway vehicle’s doors.”

“Perhaps you might be of some use. Your name says tosser. Does that mean you throw fire by your hands in some way? How would fire be generated?”

“Toss doesn’t have to mean you throw by hand. That would be more complex.”

“I hope you mean you are a fire breather. Tell me it is your mouth that generates the fire.”

“Why of course the mouth generates it. I have to eat a full pail of beans before I am capable of generating my fire!”

“Does that mean-”

“Yes. There is a reason that my costume doesn’t have a cape. That would be dangerous.”

“So how do you ignite your farts?”

“I have a sparker.”

“And there’s a smell.”

“Of course there is but you wouldn’t ever smell it in your video form.”

“I have others that I might work with. I hope that they would work with me more than once. Next!”

“I should have known that a female superhero would be too prissy,” Fire Tosser grumbled as he went out the door.

About Larry Russwurm

Just another ranter on the Internet
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