Birth Control for Werewolves

It is said that all a werewolf needs to do is bite you for you to become a werewolf. Indeed most sources seem to think all a werewolf needs to do is break your skin and their saliva will transfer the curse to your bloodstream as well. All that remains is to figure out how many humans a werewolf will infect in each full moon.

Our era is called the Anthropocene. This is because humans affect almost every aspect of the earth these days. So almost any werewolf is going to be near humans. They hunt all night by the full moon – which lasts the whole night. That’s a lot of hunting. Let’s say each hunt lasts about an hour. That makes about 12 large creatures hunted. I’m going to say that one of them is a human.

Humans are usually around other humans. And that is what the werewolf is for 29 days of the moon’s 29.5 day cycle. So that places the werewolf near humans when the change comes. Obviously it will attack humans in its 12 hours of being a beast.

So if 1 werewolf bites 1 human, it will lead to 2 werewolves by the next full moon. The third full moon will see 4 werewolves and the fourth will see 8. This is an exponential progression.

So let’s look at the calculations we made in The Case for Vampires Staking Vampires with its similar exponential progression. There we figured out that weekly vampire killings led to a 34th week when all the people in the world have become vampires.

With the werewolves, it is easy to see that the 34th full moon will lead to the entire population of the world becoming werewolves. This is roughly 2 years and 9 months after the first werewolf arrived on the scene. Naturally the werewolf doesn’t want this because there will be next to nothing left to hunt (remember each full moon we said there are 12 hunts and only one of them is a human).

So werewolves will hunt the most dangerous prey – werewolves. But they will cheat. When they turn back to humans they will use their guns loaded with silver bullets and track the very same prey they bit during the full moon. They will exterminate it with their silver bullets.

So, of necessity, a werewolf will be a successful hunter in both forms. It will hunt then hunt again.

So if you’re worried that someone you know has become (or always was) a werewolf, don’t try to reinvent the wheel. Worrying about how to find silver bullets or even possibly having to make them yourself is a nonstarter. All you need to do is root through the werewolf’s things and you will find silver bullets.

That is step one in killing a werewolf. Godspeed in pulling off the rest by shooting it with those very same silver bullets.

About Larry Russwurm

Just another ranter on the Internet. Now in the Fediverse as
This entry was posted in Humour, Science and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *