Permapout

What is a poor, spoiled, rich kid supposed to do when they don’t get their way? The answer is: they eventually learn is to pout. Maybe Mommy or Daddy would be inflexible enough to stop this dead in its tracks. But Mommy and Daddy don’t raise rich babies – their servants do.

So in that pout the servants see their future with the family. Of course they strive to please the pouter at almost any cost. If it were in their control to give they would likely give the pouter intercontinental ballistic missiles. We’re lucky that this is not in the power of these servants to give.

Donald Trump has a permanent pout on his face. Growing up his servants must have given him almost anything he wanted. Maybe Donald had a bully problem. But he just pouted at his largest male servant.

“Fine, what do you want Donald?”

“I want you to let me beat you up and then you can beat up my bully. After you beat up my bully tell him that you’re saving him because Donald can beat you up. Which of course is the truth.”

The problem would thus be diverted. At least enough that Mommy and Daddy won’t have to hear about it.

Then Donald grew up? And began hanging around his fellow pouters at the Miss Universe and Miss America pageants. All these women were told that pouting made them more beautiful so they believed this about anybody. Thus they accepted the Donald as a beautiful man. To this day, beautiful women like Melania and Stormy Daniels find the Donald to be acceptable. Of course both women have made a lot of money off of him, too, so it’s possible it’s not the pout.

Now there are a number of theories as to why the Donald won the presidency. Some think it was Russian dealings, others think that it was his racism. I think that it was his pout. Most voters are parents as well and seeing Donald act like a little boy got to them when he pouted. Of course little baby must get his way.

So we have someone with a permapout that had gotten control of intercontinental ballistic missiles. This might have gone away with no problems in a couple more years. But there is another man who wields a permapout that also has gotten his hands on intercontinental ballistic missiles. That man is Kim Jong Un.

I’m not going to bore you with how Kim Jong Un pouted his way to power but it parallels the Donald’s experience. The pair of them have talked about getting together and talking ICBMs and nuclear weapons. In some circles this will be known as the Great Pout Off.

Let’s just hope that the servants that surround this pair somehow come up with a way that they both can look like they’ve won.

In the meantime, I suggest that the American voting public make themselves immune to pouters. Remember when you’re oldest kids pouted and so did your littler kids? You probably picked the side of the younger kids. And just like that, pouting isn’t always a winning position.